Every culture must have its demons.
Those demons must, in turn, be featured in video games.
America, indeed, switches demons all the time, allowing video game creators to help you shoot Russians one week and then lock and load in some difficult Arab nation the next.
It seems that Iran, one of America's latest demons -- if tales from Apple stores in Georgia are to be believed -- has decided to create demonic video games of its own.
I am moved to announce that a new game from the Iranian Association of Students, cheerily entitled The Stressful Life of Salman Rushdie and Implementation of his Verdict, is in production.
The Guardian helpfully informs me that Iranian leaders are struggling with the tendency of their younger generations to embrace imperialist western fashions, such as Hollywood movies, HBO and video games in which many, many people are immolated.
To strike back, video games are being produced, though the production itself seems to pose certain problems of efficiency.
"We usually don't have any problems with initial thoughts and ideas [for computer games], but when it comes to the actual point of production we experience delays," the students association director, Ahmad Khalili, reportedly told the Fars news agency.
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Should you have spent the last few years sheltering from world history, Rushdie is an author of many books, some of which require vast chasms of patience. One of his works, "The Satanic Verses", was deemed entirely blasphemous by Ayatollah Khomeini in 1989, following which a fatwa against the author was heralded.
Rushdie spent many years under police protection, although recently he has managed to resume more of a traditional writer's life -- squiring beautiful women and going to quite a few parties.
It is currently unknown whether, should The Stressful Life of Salman Rushdie and Implementation of his Verdict be finally released, it will offer players the opportunity to immolate Rushdie at a cocktail party somewhere on the Upper East Side.
I am sure, though, that Iranian youths, bored with World of Warcraft and saddened by the demise of Curt Schilling's 38 Studios, cannot wait to add a new and exciting video game to their, um, arsenal.