I am sure that many people are already wondering how on earth to please their mothers on May 13.
For that is Mother's Day, the Sunday on which flower-sellers make huge amounts of money out of the guilt of youthful, self-absorbed offspring.
Perhaps, though, kids (and dads) just don't know their moms terribly well. Because words and numbers have reached me that suggest moms are getting a little tired of flowers and jewelry and would rather have an iPad or some cuddly little Android-powered piece.
A survey performed by Harris Interactive on behalf of Ebates.com, contained within it so many poignant revelations that it almost brought me to tears, depressed at the misunderstandings that plague human relationships.
Here is what men think women want for Mother's Day, in order: Flowers, Jewelry, Spa Day, Candy.
Here is, according to this survey, what women (with kids under the age of 18) really want, in order: "Spa Day, Flowers, Jewelry, Tablet/Smartphone.
So you see how little women are understood by members of the opposite sex. Women want a rest from being mothers. They want to be indulged.
Still, you might imagine that this tablet/smartphone desire comes a distant fourth. Not so. There is a mere 6 percent gap between these gadgets and the desire for jewelry.
Those who with cold hearts -- or recent divorces -- might wonder that perhaps moms believe more money ought to be spent on them. It's not as if you can buy an iPad for the same price as a bunch of flowers.
Ebates-- a company that, astonishingly, saves people money on things that they want to buy, like gadgets -- also delved into where in America mothers had most money spent on them. The answer is, apparently, California, which dedicated around $100 on average to make mom smile.
So perhaps those who truly love their moms and truly understand just how much their tastes are changing, ought to start saving now.
For it seems that what would really light up your mom's eyes is something like an iPad 2. They're down to $399. But mom might still imagine they cost a fortune. Yes, she might suddenly believe you have even more love for her than she thought.
And gadgets last so much longer than peonies. Every time your mom plays FarmVille on her new machine, she will think of you. That is true love.
Should your mom already be rather well equipped, technologically speaking, CNET's Molly Wood does offer some fine alternatives in the arena of gadgetry (watch her video below).
Tech gifts for mom (that aren't an iPad)
But whatever you choose to do, however you choose to honor the woman who has tolerated you most of all, please remember that moms don't always stay the same. So you should make sure of the one thing that all great gifts should have: an element of surprise.