I am desperate to be faithful to people such as my geophysicist masseur, Cory.
So I have so far resisted any of Groupon's enticements, which are sent to me each day by electronic carrier pigeon.
However, after Sunday's big football game, I may change my mind. For I suspect Groupon might provide some of the more entertaining ad fare during the broadcast.
As evidence, might I cite this bizarre piece of footage that Groupon posted to its blog?
The blog declares that this ad is one Groupon rejected in its quest to fill its $3 million big-game ad slot.
However, it might just be an amusing dig at competitor LivingSocial, which, according to Internet Retailer, intends to run an ad Sunday all about someone with "deal addiction."
Groupon's Super Bowl ad (and, I suspect, this little film) comes from Microsoft's ad agency, Crispin, Porter, Bogusky, an agency that has often had a gloriously skewed view of life (yes, Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld).
Might I point to some of the cheerily skewed elements of this supposedly rejected concept? For a start, it's almost two-and-a-half minutes long. Which wouldn't exactly fit comfortably into the football broadcast.
In a fanciful moment, I told myself that perhaps you have to take 60 percent off the ad, in order for it to fit into a more standard time slot. But then I had some coffee.
And what's all this about Deutsche Bank? Are we supposed to believe that the employees at the bank take time out of their busy day tossing derivatives to the ceiling to write ads?
Are we to imagine that Groupon is playing one bank off against another for its favors by asking them to write ads for free?
I am truly looking forward to what Groupon--a company that has always seemed to have humor in its head, its heart, and in several other places--might do.
Please don't let me down, Groupon. Or I'll never consider a cut-price pedicure or wine-tasting. Though, I must admit, the two together sound like fun.