Perhaps you might be feeling slightly saggy about Facebook's new idea of owning all of your communications in the entire world.
I can do something about that. I can tell you about what's really happening on Facebook and in the entire world of technological communication.
There is some sex. There is more sending of naked pictures to those who are not the sender's lover. And there is a remarkable amount of shared online porn viewing.
While you begin to feel better already, let me put some leaves on those shooting branches. For, thanks to AllFacebook.com, I have beneath my eyes the results of an intimate survey of 2,000 adult Britons conducted by OnePoll.com.
Please ponder the name "OnePoll" for a moment while I offer you the first tidbit: 46 percent of those surveyed said they had sent naughty, naughty texts to someone other than their partner. Perhaps you will not be surprised.
But let me raise the ante and the anticipation when I tell you that a whole 35 percent claimed that they have enclosed a naked picture of themselves with one of the saucy SMS offerings. I feel sure that Brett Favre was not one of those surveyed. You know, surveyed.
I can tell I now have your attention, so as a follow-up, please consider that 17 percent of those examined said that they watched pornographic movies online with their significant bedfellow. While 30 percent still choose to watch alone. Clearly both these figures are false.
However, Mark Zuckerberg's Odysseian quest to watch online as everyone in the world does everything on, through, and because of Facebook, might have suffered a small element of disillusion with the next piece of data.
Only 11 percent of people said they'd had sex with someone they'd met on Facebook.
Is it truly possible that with all the talk of Facebook being the only place to meet anyone these days, only 11 percent have manage to consummate their contact? Is it really likely that, after hundreds of Facebook messages have wafted over the electronic system, after profile pictures, face-on pictures, and clothing-optional pictures have all been revealed, only 11 percent of Facebook friends want to become, well, more than Facebook friends?
Or could it be that, unlike Match.com, eHarmony, and even AshleyMadison.com, there remains a slight social stigma around telling people you hooked up with someone on Facebook?