Oh, look. It's Justin Long in a skirt. And with lipstick.
In a strangely aggressive new campaign, one that suggests that the company has the largest 4G network, T-Mobile has decided to wear the clothes of Apple's recently deceased "Get a Mac" campaign in order to kick AT&T (and Apple) in its nether regions.
I had always thought of T-Mobile as the brand that represented families in which depressed fathers had trouble controlling their offspring. But here is the company making bold, manly declarations about having a vaster 4G network than anyone else.
Reid Walker, T-Mobile's vice president of communications, explained to TechFlash: "If you look at how consumers are viewing 4G, it's all about speed. When they see some of the current claims out there, they believe they're getting the fastest phone on the market, which is not always the case, as you look at some of the competitive analysis in the market."
Apparently, T-Mobile has an HPSA+ network, which is far finer and faster than, say, Sprint's Clearwire WiMax affair. Apparently. But I would defy you to find anyone with a brain and no feet in the swamp of tech who could explain to you what 4G truly represents. Other than some vague notion of speed.
Apparently the International Telecommunications Union recently declared that WiMax and LTE aren't really 4G. But who on earth (the real earth) is following this wonderfully arcane debate? Isn't everyone too busy checking Facebook on their iPhones?
So T-Mobile has decided to use the structure of an Apple ad to take a swipe not at Sprint, but at AT&T. And, therefore, implicitly at Apple.
We see a girl in a stripey dress trying to be a cross between Justin Long and former T-Mobile spokesperson Catherine Zeta-Jones. She explains something slightly technical about video chat and offers that her myTouch 4G is far better than an iPhone 4 because an iPhone 4 has an old bald AT&T person on its back.
This old bald person looks nothing like John Hodgman's alleged Bill Gates. But there will be those who will wonder whether this largely hairless dude bears a strangely irrelevant resemblance to Microsoft's Steve Ballmer.
I ask everyone out there, because I find myself wallowing in confusion: will anyone get this? Will anyone care? Will everyone rush out to hook up with T-Mobile? I also ask myself: if you're going to give Apple a hard time, why would you mimic their rather beloved ads? Oh, I get it. Because that will be more memorable. Well, perhaps.