In the name of bringing us together, sometimes Facebook can tear us apart. With laughter.
I have just learned that Facebook has, reportedly, removed Justin Bieber from its pages. Please suck on that oxygen mask with even breaths while I mention in passing that I am not referring to THAT Justin Bieber. Although, in a way, I am.
However, the Justin Bieber who concerns me most lives in Jacksonville, Fla. He likes playing arcade games, especially pinball. And, according to Jacksonville's First Coast News, this Justin Bieber does not have an easy life.
For he is forever mistaken for that 16-year-old Canadian chappy who makes Kim Kardashian, as well as so many other residents of the world, enjoy unusual biochemical levels.
So much so, indeed, that the Floridian Bieber claims Facebook has removed him from its pages and accused him of being a fake. He says he received neither a warning nor even a confirmation e-mail.
He told First Coast News that he tried to get himself reinstated. Unfortunately, he said, "I guess their policy is ban first, ask questions never."
Please try and feel his pain. This is a Justin Bieber who, despite not having androgynous looks and, indeed, being married, says he gets calls from artists telling him they will shortly be recording with him. Even though he explains that singing is not his forte, the calls (and the fan mail) keep on coming.
His phone number, you see, tends to turn up on fan websites, thanks, no doubt, to very excitable fans.
He says he also had a brief problem with asserting his identity on Apple's new social network Ping, but this now appears to have been straightened out.
Now it is down to Facebook. On Bieber's pained behalf, I have contacted my friends at Facebook and asked the company whether it might get to the heart of this troubling matter of the doppelganger who is out of the gang.
This Justin Bieber wears glasses and has graying stubble. He is a man who is ready to share, ready to play his part as a member of the world's most vibrant community. Will it be necessary to form a "Bring Back the Real Justin Bieber Group"? I can only hope not.
I appeal to the other, younger Justin Bieber, the one who so beautifully sang "One Less Lonely Girl" (embedded here, with deep respect), to join with us in the hope that his namesake will soon no longer be one more lonely man.
Updated 1:50 p.m. PDT Friday: I bring joy to Justin Bieber. The original one. His Facebook status has been reassessed and he has been pronounced real and living. Facebook spokesman Simon Axten, told me: "We've reactivated this person's account and apologized to him for the mistake."