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March 9, 2010 5:27 PM PST

Online dating finally recognized by restaurant guide

by Chris Matyszczyk

Online dating is, like a lack of privacy, merely the new social norm, right?

It seems to have been around almost as long as Rohypnol and cell phones. It's just a blind date with someone whom you don't know and neither do any of your friends. What could be the problem?

Which is why, perhaps, all those guidebooks you tend to see in bookstores might separate restaurant listings under sections like "romantic" or "first date," but I've never seen one have a separate section for "online dating."

San Francisco Bay Area food writer and bonne vivante Marcia Gagliardi, who writes a foodie e-column called The Tablehopper, believes that only specific places are suitable for that first moment when your potential love match is 10 years older than stated and their profile picture was taken in analog times.

Her new bar and restaurant guide, "The Tablehopper's Guide to Dining and Drinking in San Francisco: Find the Right Spot for Every Occasion," labeled as a "first of its kind guidebook," therefore offers specific recommendations for meeting "LoveBug" or "StandUpGuy."

Being clearly a woman of strong principles, Gagliardi has definite views about the type of location that suits such a nerve-wracking occasion.

"The trick about meeting someone from online is you need it to be quick (coffee, tea, or me?) because sometimes the transition from the virtual world to the real world can be one big mistake," Gagliardi told me in an e-mail.

Her book offers "a few inexpensive cafes and wine bars where the atmosphere isn't too romantic or sterile, but there's some personality, spots where you can talk easily and stay for just twenty minutes (sorry it didn't work out), or for two hours."

For those who live, work or merely suffer in the Bay Area, Cafe Du Soleil on Fillmore Street and the Crossroads Cafe on Delancey Street seem to meet the exacting criteria of meeting a strange, possibly very strange, date in the often cold light of day.

Of the Crossroads Cafe, Gagliardi believes there is hope in the detail: "The bagels are flown in from H&H in New York, in case you want to come back for breakfast. Maybe even together, heh."

The Bay Area is a particularly problematic place in which to enjoy relationships. A recent story in SF Weekly suggested that women are turning to a professional pickup artist in order to so much as learn how to capture the attention of indolent, self-regarding males.

The mere idea of translating the online experience into a meaningful real-world one makes things even more difficult. Gagliardi believes location is frightfully important, nay vital.

"It needs to be a place that shows a little style--this is not the time for Starbucks. You also need a spot where you can talk and not have everyone rubberneck your first getting-to-know-you meeting," she told me.

Rumor has it she will be expanding her rather modern and useful take on the restaurant guidebook to other cities. I am sure that, in time, such location- and occasion-specific advice will be indispensable to every iPodding, iPadding, love-seeking digital human.

However, I was intrusive enough to ask Gagliardi if she had ever had an online date at one of her own recommendations.

"I've had a couple blind dates at Cafe du Soleil and the setting was great, natch, but the prospective dates? Let's just say I'm still single," she said.

Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.
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Add a Comment (Log in or register) (17 Comments)
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by Shane39199 March 9, 2010 7:34 PM PST
i take my dates to Mcds and order about 50 fries and apple pies.first impression is everything.and then ask them to pay the bill ^_^
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by Shinespark March 9, 2010 9:01 PM PST
Last I checked, at fast food joints you pay for food upfront.
1 person likes this comment
by Dsguide March 10, 2010 2:42 AM PST
I'm from the bay area and hung out at those places (Fillmore) with friends but I'd never thought of it as a place to meet potentials for dating but I guess the right connection can happen anywhere! http://www.dating-success-guide.com
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by IceN9ne March 10, 2010 7:43 AM PST
can the title of that book be ANY shorter?
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by thomkell March 10, 2010 1:11 PM PST
I guess it's only a matter of time given the ever increasing popularity of online dating, especially personal ads. (My book is all about that.) San Francisco is very wired though. I'm curious if other cities & guides follow suit...
Reply to this comment
by No2ells April 25, 2010 12:13 AM PDT
I think it's really difficult to find some you get on well with, want to date and maybe have a relationship from a the point of never having met them before. So I think it's a good idea for there to be a variety of different ways of meeting people to accomodate the different people out there, esp if like http://datingallhours.com you need to balance free dating and work, which can be great for people that work varied/irregular/odd hours like nursing, firefighters, freelance, bar staff, shift workers. Good luck if you're looking for love, dating, relationships - can be difficult but can definitely be worth it!
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 5, 2010 3:07 AM PDT
since this site is about relationships I thought I might chime in. My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert" since I have been helping couples for over 17 years. Regarding the topic at hand, here is what I would recommend that Clearly dating is important to get into a relationship and at the beginning of one, but it is just as important 20 years into relationship? even more important, actually. At that point you have more at stake. We call that an Eternal Date!
The bottom line on dating advice is: get turned on, turn them on, make sure the date revolves around what the woman wants (the woman?s pleasure), and let the guy be the hero and provide it. This may not be politically correct, but after 17 years of supporting singles and couples, I can tell you it is what works. Add in fun activities that appeal to the senses and lots of flirting. Broken down into the critical elements dating isn?t so complicated and your next date will be fun and exciting! ! Feel free to view my blog at http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 5, 2010 3:45 AM PDT
since this site is about relationships I thought I might chime in. My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert" since I have been helping couples for over 17 years. Regarding the topic at hand, here is what I would recommend that Clearly dating is important to get into a relationship and at the beginning of one, but it is just as important 20 years into relationship? even more important, actually. At that point you have more at stake. We call that an Eternal Date!
The bottom line on dating advice is: get turned on, turn them on, make sure the date revolves around what the woman wants (the woman?s pleasure), and let the guy be the hero and provide it. This may not be politically correct, but after 17 years of supporting singles and couples, I can tell you it is what works. Add in fun activities that appeal to the senses and lots of flirting. Broken down into the critical elements dating isn?t so complicated and your next date will be fun and exciting! ! Feel free to view my blog at http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog
Reply to this comment
by jeffhall8 June 13, 2010 11:54 PM PDT
guys - I found a guru named Erwan Davon who is SF's relationship expert - maybe he can help. Check out his blog here: http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 16, 2010 1:24 AM PDT
After 17 years of being San Francisco?s Relationship Expert, I am throwing a Cocktail Party on June 27th to launch Erwan Davon Teachings. I want to personally invite you and your friends to come celebrate with me and enjoy appetizers and drinks. Meet the crew behind the Erwan Davon Teachings courses and website, as well as the extraordinary people who have participated in this work for the last 17 years. This party means a lot to me and I would like to share it with you as a way of saying thank you. Visit our blog to get time, date, locations info-may be if any of you need some advice can search google for Erwan Davon Relationship Blog.
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 16, 2010 1:33 AM PDT
After 17 years of being San Francisco?s Relationship Expert, I am throwing a Cocktail Party on June 27th to launch Erwan Davon Teachings. I want to personally invite you and your friends to come celebrate with me and enjoy appetizers and drinks. Meet the crew behind the Erwan Davon Teachings courses and website, as well as the extraordinary people who have participated in this work for the last 17 years. This party means a lot to me and I would like to share it with you as a way of saying thank you. Visit our blog to get time, date, locations info-may be if any of you need some advice can search google for Erwan Davon Relationship Blog.
Reply to this comment 1 person likes this comment
by ErwanDavon June 28, 2010 1:48 AM PDT
since this site is about relationships and Dating I thought I might chime in. My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert" since I have been helping couples for over 17 years. Finding a date is a skill that can be learned. Usually people wing it and mostly fail. After almost 20 years of training people in this skill, I can tell you finding social events where you know a few of the people, but not all, works well for meeting people, but the most important part is learning the skills of dating. If that sounds interesting to you come check out at http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 28, 2010 3:28 AM PDT
My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert" since I have been helping couples for over 17 years. These days people don?t have much time to have a great relationship! Simple things like planning a date night per week or a short monthly vacation can make a big difference. We work with people on how to set up their lives so their relationships are supported.If that sounds interesting to you come check out at http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 28, 2010 4:59 AM PDT
My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert" since I have been helping couples for over 17 years.There are skills to getting into a great relationship. Meeting people skills, deepening relatedness skills, sex skills and so on. It is really unique to each individual what skills they need but there are patterns to what relationships need.If you would like support, check out at http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog/may be if any of you need some advice can search google for Erwan Davon Relationship Blog.
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 28, 2010 5:47 AM PDT
My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert "since I have been helping couples for over 17 years. Intense emotions arise in relationship.b. Everything I teach about relationship starts with handling oneself? being present? being happy. Personal growth is the most important quality to make a relationship work. From there things can get fun. But you have to start with personal growth. Great that you are looking at that.b. Nowadays a lot of people want more attention from their partners. There are keys to getting that attention, like being fun, communicating straightforwardly, giving them what they want, changing life schdules and so on. It is different for everyone.ck out at http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog/
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon June 29, 2010 11:32 PM PDT
People don?t have much time to have a great relationship! Simple things like planning and date night. We work with people on how to set up their lives. Relationships require a lot of attention .We think we should know what to do, but often don?t. We teach people the in?s and out?s of how to have a relationship, not only last, but get better over time .If that sounds interesting to you and need some or advice can search google for Erwan Davon Relationship Blog.
Reply to this comment
by ErwanDavon July 1, 2010 9:11 AM PDT
My name is Erwan Davon and some call me "San Francisco's Relationship Expert" since I have been helping couples for over 17 years.Confidence is critical to making relationships and love life work out. We shine so much brighter when we realize we are perfect as we are, which does not excluded personal growth. When we have the confidence of accepting ourselves and others as we are, we can grow, we can get in great relationships, we can turn a partner on? we enjoy ourselves.If that sounds interesting to you and need some or advice can search google for Erwan Davon Relationship Blog.
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Chris Matyszczyk brings a fresh and irreverent perspective to the tech world in his CNET blog, Technically Incorrect. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.

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