For a reason beyond any fathom I can measure, I failed to follow Sun Microsystems CEO Jonathan Schwartz on Twitter. Now I am attempting to kick myself. I am missing.
You see, Schwartz decided that the best way to tell folks that he was leaving Sun-- recently purchased by Oracle seemingly because Larry Ellison still can't find a hostile way to grab the Golden State Warriors by their Nikes--was to confirm rumors of his departure in a tweet.
"Today's my last day at Sun. I'll miss it," he wrote at Twitter.com/OpenJonathan. Then he added, mystically, "Seems only fitting to end on a #haiku. Financial crisis/Stalled too many customers/CEO no more."
One assumes that the haiku upon which Schwartz ended, after suffering from this painful haiku d'etat, was accompanied by a sum of money that will not prevent Schwartz from visiting his favorite hairdresser as often as he would dare. However, one wonders if his former employees were charmed by this disarming farewell.
What would you do if you were to attempt a twittering haiku as your public farewell? Might you, instead of offering a sweetly self-serving, self-referential reminder of your thwarted, or perhaps Schwarted, excellence, offer a small good-bye--in true haiku form or something a little less true--to your fellow man and woman?
Something like, "Wish you got/As much as I did/Sorry you won't."
Or perhaps, "I climbed/On the back of good people/To riches."
Or even, "Gosh/You're all screwed/I'm so sorry."
I am sure that Schwartz believes that he has been deeply progressive by using Twitter to announce his move on to, no doubt, better things. But, when he was CEO, how might he have reacted, if one of his employees had decided to take a hike(u) and tweeted a resignation?
Say, "Useless management/On to better things/FU Sun."
I have a feeling that the looser parts of him might have twitched. Still, perhaps he has, indeed, started a progressive trend, one that might encourage freedom of speech on departure. Perhaps corporate lawyers will soon be unable to keep up with an avalanche of this new style of adieu.
Be a Twitter quitter. It makes you look good. It makes you feel good--about yourself, that is.