AT&T fights back at Verizon with, um, Luke Wilson

When you've lost the first round in your case against Verizon's persistent and persuasive mockery, who do you turn to?

Luke Wilson, that's who. After all, he starred in "Legally Blonde" and, well, "Jackass Number Two."

Actually, Wilson is lovable. Truly lovable. Perhaps if he'd dressed down a little and Justin Long had suffered an interminable hiatus hernia, Wilson might have got the part of Mac, the Microsoft Mocker.

Instead, he has the slightly more difficult task of persuading the folks who adored him in "Old School" that AT&T's 3G will serve them well on the 3.10 to Yuma.

The creators didn't give him much of a script, as I suspect they wrote it a couple of lattes and a shot of bourbon before this opus was filmed in what looks like the empty space above Victoria's Secret in Santa Monica, Calif.

Luke is forced to stand before a board and prove that AT&T has the fastest 3G network, lets you talk and surf at the same time, and offers you more apps that feature people making strange noises, half-clothed women, and animals that smile when you touch the screen. (Disclosure: slight exaggeration)

Sadly, it all looks a little analog. Luke looks as if he'd prefer to be surfing, as he really doesn't have the tools to make you believe what he's being paid to say.

His hair looks as if it's been hurriedly greased with Czech lard and his face offers a certain hemorrhoidal mien as it offers a little jape at the end of the spot. Yes, a jape about Verizon beginning with "V" and AT&T not beginning with "V." That rumbling you can hear is the collective guffaw from Verizon Central.

Verizon is hurting AT&T with its clinical, delighted unpleasantness. And I fear that before "Legally Blonde 2: AT&T's Revenge" can possibly be effective, the iPhone carrier needs to dramatize its argument rather better than the gospel according to Luke.

[mrcjacobs]

That's just sad....

[themrwhite]

I actually like the ad, much funnier than Verizon's ad, that's for sure and like Verizon is claiming, AT&T is speaking the truth. Te echo Verizon's statement, "Truth hurts, doesn't it" lol

[bousozoku]

It's only faster 3G service, if you can find it and if it's stable.<br /><br />If it shifts down to EDGE or GPRS, it's not 3G service, even if the area is supposedly covered. If you're sitting beside a Sprint or Verizon customer who is going a healthy 1.5 Mbps and you're laughing because you're running 3.1 Mbps and you suddenly drop to 200 Kbps, you may not be the one laughing any longer, since they're more likely to continue to run reliably.

[ZachWulf]

Blanket statements like "fastest 3G network" aren't true for everyone. It's like Charmin toilet paper being 33% softer than the leading competitor. No way of backing up your claim.

[faceless128]

the ad is charming, but "fastest 3g network" is *exactly* what Verizon is attacking by showiing 3G coverage maps. Verizon is basically conceeding that point and then saying "slower is 4/5 of the USA, lol" and this doesn't really counter that.

[Galen20K]

I agree, seems pathetic and sad attempt of ATT who is nervous and doesn't "really" know how to retaliate on this. I think its kind of comical on how useless their points are in this commercial and how juvenile ATT really is.

[nealffischer]

The people I know with iPhones are constantly complaining about not getting signal here or there. Or how slow the network is. I am on Verizon for work and have had few problems with connectivity in Upstate New York. So, I take issue with the fastest network comment in the commercial. if the road has a speed limit of 55 and there are only a few cars on the road. You can go 55. But in towns where there are tens of thousands of people using the same road - you get traffic jams and no 55 for you. In otherwords, just because it has the ability to be fast, once everyone tries to use it at the same time... it isn't that fast. Ask the folks in San Fran.

[ZachWulf]

You hit the nail on the hammer on this one. As a Droid convert from a 10-year T-Mobile relationship that has included everything from a KRZR to a G1, I can say that this commercial feels awfully analog in a digital world. <br /><br />I go to college in Abilene, Texas, and if you don't know where that is I don't blame you. It's the backwaters of West Texas, and out here I get blindingly fast 3G on Verizon's network. My school has given every incoming freshman an iPhone as part of a learning initiative (ACU), and they had to put an AT&#38;T cell tower on campus because there was no 3G prior to this. Anywhere else in Abilene and my iSheep friends are stuck with the EDGE network.<br /><br />Its strange that a company that has its roots in the invention of the telephone and has suffered a major breakup and reformation hasn't been pioneering this new technology, especially after 20 billion new tools walking around with their iPhones. Point well made.<br /><br />(On a side note, Chris, why is your picture totally different at the top of your banner and at the bottom in your bio? Were you that young when you started working for CNET?)

[ChrisMatyszczyk]

@ZachWulf,<br /><br />How could I not know where Abilene is? Sort of west of Dallas on the way to Sweetwater, right?<br /><br />Anyways, I am sorry you are having troubles.<br /><br />But I can assure you, and readers have asked this before, that the picture at the bottom is actually my uncle, who was the only one available at the time when they asked me for another picture. The picture at the top is the real me.<br /><br />Thank you for commenting,<br /><br />Chris

[jr24ds]

@ZachWulf<br /><br />i have a cousin that lives in Abilene. He has an iphone. He told me that they just put new 3G towers in that town and he gets 3G almost everywhere now.

[Oso_Grande]

It's not that bad--it's less thumbing-the-nose than Verizon's commercial. <br /><br />Not a fan of either company, but I'd rather take AT&#38;T's spotty coverage than Verizon's spotty billing.

[heygeo]

LOL... i'll take spotty billing as I could do with a missing bill here and there ;p

[CallDiane]

I agree about Verizon's terible billing practices. One month you have a small bill, The next month they are charging you late fees! I got a phone call from a collection agency a year after I cancelled. I had moved while still with them and they had opened a NEW account for my new address. They were trying to collect on double billing that had apparently been accumulating on the account associated with my old address. It took months to fix. NEVER AGAIN!

[krewlh85]

"I agree about Verizon's terible billing practices. One month you have a small bill, The next month they are charging you late fees! I got a phone call from a collection agency a year after I cancelled. I had moved while still with them and they had opened a NEW account for my new address. They were trying to collect on double billing that had apparently been accumulating on the account associated with my old address. It took months to fix. NEVER AGAIN!" <br /> <br />It's funny to me that people think companies have "spotty billing". You realize EVERY cell phone company has the same fees. And AT&#38;T and Verizon have the EXACT same plans. If something makes your bill larger CallDiane that means YOU did something unintelligent and are ignorant to what you sign up for. I know it must be hard for you to read and comprehend what you sign up for. I've never had a problem with either companies billing. And yes, if you don't pay a bill with ANY company your more than likely to get a late fee. Learn to pay your bills on time or have fun with your bad credit.

[davidmcelroy_dotmac]

I find the Verizon ads for the Droid to be horrid, but the ads mocking AT&#38;T's network to be pretty effective. AT&#38;T's response is fairly weak, IMO. It's not jaw-droppingly awful (as the Droid spots have been), but it also doesn't hone in on something that people can understand easily.<br /><br />If AT&#38;T's agency had good sense, they would be hammering away at one point, IMO. They would do ads making fun of the fact that you can't talk on the phone and use the data functions of the phone at the same time. A series of ads showing people having to end calls to check mail or football scores or whatever -- and comparing it to someone using and iPhone while talking AND doing data -- would be an understandable difference that would resonate with people. It would be something funny that Verizon would have NO response for, other than, "Well, wait a few years and we'll be able to do the same thing after we upgrade our network to LTE."

[pjhenry1216]

Honestly, I never had any need to check data while on a phone call. I had an iPhone 3G since it came out (now I moved to Droid because AT&#38;T's service is horrid in our area and I was annoyed by various things on the iPhone, but it was the best handheld computer at the time.) and never once used data while on a phone call. Personally, I think its arguable which is better (Droid vs iPhone), however Verizon is much better in my area and the Droid is more suited to my tastes.

[iphonekiller]

"Well, wait a few years and we'll be able to do the same thing after we upgrade our network to LTE." <br /> <br />A few years huh.....or maybe second half of next year? Man that is a really long time to wait about the time that the real iphonekiller, the iphone. will come to the network that starts with a V.

[ksmm]

I *have* used the talking and data functions of my phone simultaneously, and I have to say that I wouldn't want to be without it. Being able to tether my phone (yeah, AT&#38;T lets you do that) to my laptop and still receive incoming calls is a boon. If I had to get booted off the 'net every time a call came in, I would feel like it was the mid-90s dial-up era all over again.<br /><br />Truthfully, Verizon's 3G map ad is very impressive and effective. It actually got me to thinking about the deficiencies in AT&#38;T's network (and there are a-plenty). But after looking at the areas covered by 3G service, I realized that most of them are places I'll never go and places where few people live. (I read that AT&#38;T covers 75% of the population with 3G, and that Verizon covers 90% with 5X the area.) If you live in Abilene, TX, then maybe that extra coverage is beneficial; but since I spent 95% of my time in Atlanta or other large metros, I am usually satisfied with my phone *most* of the time, enough that I doubt any other carrier is going to beat it at the same price.<br /><br />I tried Verizon twice, and each time I was stymied by the absolutely garish phone models and feature-crippled devices, so I returned both units. My wife does travel a lot though, so her Verizon 3G wireless laptop is a godsend. But for me I'd rather have a phone that I really like with features that aren't locked away from me and the ability to connect (phone or data) most of the time. AT&#38;T gives me that, so I got no beef with 'em. If it doesn't work for you, don't b*tch about it endlessly; sign up with a different carrier and let your dollars do the talking.

[Milind Rao]

I agree that if you don't travel much, then better service where you live is more important. But I live in Atlanta and had awful service with Cingular. That was two years ago. Hopefully, they have improved. But I switched to T-Mobile and have had great reception and customer service. Last year I bought the G1 and couldn't be happier.

[myles taylor]

(coming from an AT&#38;T customer): <br /><br />Fastest 3G? Okay that's great. When I have it it's fast. WHen I don't well....I don't have it. Sure, pick and choose which things you want to put on the list and then give yourself those attributes. Works every time.

[ywkhgqo]

I like how they don't address the 100,000s of apps are for ONE PHONE. THis really is just a sad commercial. Fatest 3g network means nothing to me. What are they comparing it to? Who's the source?<br />I've seen videos of the droid loading webpages faster over 3G than the iphone, does that mean verizon's 3G is now faster too?<br />The fact is, verizon gave me a statement:<br />Verizon's 3G access has 5x the coverage area of AT&#38;T.<br />Who says this? Verizon's map compared to AT&#38;T's map<br />Where is the source: the company' s own website.<br />Verizon's commercial is perfect, and AT&#38;T just can't come up with one. <br />This is pathetic.

[atomD21]

I thought the same things about the claims on number of apps... When you have a strong 3G signal, AT&#38;T's service is just under twice the speed of Verizon. However, that means nothing if you only have it some of the time. I thought the commercial was pretty weak.

[jeremyling]

ive always looked at it this way its nice that att has the fastest 3G network out there but if i cant get connected then wats the point of having the fastest 3G network in the US. if i had to choose stability or fastest i probably chose stability any day and why hasnt ATT learnt that it doesnt matter if you have the fastest 3G if i have to use 2.5G aka EDGE then why should i pay for their 3G service. i think it should be against the law that major cities dont have stable 3G service. Callin friends with iphone who live in SF and LA is a pain

[bonesbautista]

Don't know why you're bringing up Legally Blonde - his acting in "That 70's Show" was as vapid as it is in the ATTWS spot - all we need here is a laugh track...

[bob1xxxx]

Att service is flakey at best my best friend has had att for over 10 years and he's just bout had it . Over priced crap phones, that require data plan on any dumb phone with a qwerty keyboard, and less and less quality service whether its OG 2g or 3g. ATT service and network is Kaka at best. But its very very rare were I do not get high quality 3g and 2g service with Verizon here in So Cal. Att quit your griping and build a real network and demand all you equipment providers have phones with real 2g and 3g radios (cough cough Ipoo 3g and 3gs don't clogging the 3g tubes with unnecessary voice and text traffic) . Cancel puke's contract and the tv ad schedule spend the money on the network and full service phones and the Verizon's poo flinging ads wont stick LOL

[PixP]

oh boo hoo

[mreed911]

Did you notice that when he says 100,000 apps that it's ALREADY X'ed ON THE BOARD? Whoever rushed through continuity on this thing needs to be fired. It's x'ed, then it's not when the scene switches to him placing the x.

[mreed911]

Did you notice that when he says 100,000 apps that it's ALREADY X'ed ON THE BOARD? Whoever rushed through continuity on this thing needs to be fired. It's x'ed, then it's not when the scene switches to him placing the x.

[itsnah]

people making strange noises, half-clothed women, and animals that smile when you touch the screen? Typical iPhone hater.

[Diknak]

but the statement is true. The vast majority of the apps for iPhone are worthless and it is amazing that people would actually pay for a farting application. I support user created content, don't get me wrong, but his statement is true. The iPhone has been out for years. Give the droid the same time and just as many stupid apps will be created for it as well.

[atomD21]

Seriously, the App Store is like wading through raw sewage to find a diamond buried somewhere. There are plenty of great apps, but a huge majority of shovelware.

[tmeesseman]

Chris, you try way too hard for your metaphors.

[swimflyfast]

I wonder How much they paid for this ad? It hurts to watch it! I wonder what all the extra "X's" in the fish bowl are for? Is there a flip side to that board? What would be on it?<br /> I am having trouble thinking of people sitting in a room trying to come up with an idea to counter the Verizon ad. Hey AT&#38;T next time pay my 5th grader to come up with an idea. It will save you money and you will have a better ad.. I

[busyman48]

AT&#38;T needs to start investing in their employees and their outdated network instead of hiring movie stars to sell the broken down obsolete network they have been patching together for decades. I recently traveled accross the country and my I phones 3g worked a very small percentage of the time. Verizon's add should wake AT&#38;T up but it won't. They will just layoff more employees and hire a bigger celebrity to try to sell the poor service they offer.

[paulnus]

Lame.