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November 13, 2009 4:38 PM PST

Wife poses as schoolgirl online to snare husband

by Chris Matyszczyk
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Sometimes a man can be betrayed by his wife in a good way.

A 61-year-old woman from Bridgend, Wales, had been married to her husband, for almost 20 years when, according to a court report from the Telegraph, she noticed a curious message on their computer at home.

She focused and realized that the message had been sent by an underage girl to whom her husband had been sending messages in a chat room. The message was of a sexual nature and included her husband's original message to the girl.

Perhaps some spouses would have been so stunned as to not know how to react.

This woman was different. She decided to use another computer in a different part of their house. She then entered the same chat room her husband had been using, posed as a young girl and made contact with him.

The prosecuting lawyer told the court: "Her husband had no idea but soon he was chatting with his own wife, believing it was a 14-year-old girl."

The woman didn't merely get written replies from her husband. He also used a Webcam to film himself for their supposed mutual pleasure.

Still, the court heard, she didn't confront him. Instead, she went straight to the police and the British National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

The man, who has grown-up daughters, only discovered that it was his wife who had betrayed him when interviewed by the police. He was given a three-year community order. He was also banned from having any contact with children under the age of 18, a ban that holds for both the real and the online worlds.

After the case, the woman, who is now divorcing her husband, told the Telegraph: "I did the right thing and I don't regret it. Now I just need some time to think and put all this behind me."

However, she was indignant that her husband did not receive a more stringent penalty. She said: "I thought the judge would be a lot harder and that he might go to prison."

Sometimes, we never even know those closest to us. Or sometimes we do, and then one day, they just change.

Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.
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Add a Comment (Log in or register) (29 Comments)
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by assman November 13, 2009 5:29 PM PST
Smart woman.. incredibly dumb man. Not sure if they have evidence that he actually committed a crime though, so not surprised by the minor punishment.
Reply to this comment
by lightningrob November 13, 2009 5:33 PM PST
I'm pretty sure exposing yourself sexually to a child is a crime in most places. If it was my neighborhood (let alone my spouse), I'd be steamed too that the guy got a slap on the wrist.
by assman November 13, 2009 7:48 PM PST
Well it didnt say he exposed himself.. it said there were emails exchanged and chat. It mentioned webcam but it didnt say he was naked and even if he was.. it was only his adult wife even though he thought it was a minor.
by debbyglee November 13, 2009 5:32 PM PST
This woman did not "betray" her husband. He, on the other hand, repeatedly betrayed her, the children he abused, and society at large.
Reply to this comment
by danieliusC November 13, 2009 11:47 PM PST
Well, I agree about his betrayals. But she did, by definition, betray him. What we also don't know what alterior motives she may have had. However she did do the world a favour, and I do think he needed a stiffer penalty- not knowing any more about the case than is written in this very brief article. This person was an internet predator and all their kind needs to be punished severely. Its really quite disgusting to contemplate- what would be wrong with educating children about how these scumbags work, and how the children can be trapped? Of course, if there were no scum of the earth, there would be nothing to compare a good person to. I actually know someone who did similar- but with adult women who were invariably in a fragile state due to some adversity in their lives. This person actually thought he was helping these women. Needless to say I won't have anything more to do with him and I think there needs to be some penalty that will make them think twice.... say a thorough beating with Crickett Bats? Any other ideas? I think it would definitely be okay to break at least a few bones teaching them they are doing wrong. How about permanently making their faces look like George Bush and then air dropping them into the mountains of Afganistan? Nah- too expensive.
by Roy2115 November 14, 2009 9:21 AM PST
@ danielusC -- I agree with you on the alterior motive comment. The relationship obviously wasn't that strong in the first place since the husband was secretly talking to other women (regardless of age) and the wife couldn't even confront him.

On another note, I disagree with your political comment (unless you were simply stating that Afghanistanies hate President Bush). Please keep politics out of tech forums.
by xim1970 November 13, 2009 5:37 PM PST
That woman should be commended for her act! Although she probably saw signs of this years ago, she did the right thing!
Reply to this comment
by SlimGem November 13, 2009 7:22 PM PST
Guess I better find another hobby before MY wife finds out.
Reply to this comment
by Magicland November 13, 2009 7:52 PM PST
So Pete Townshend is getting a divorce?
Reply to this comment
by popshed November 14, 2009 1:31 AM PST
Hey Pete! When's that book coming out?
You know.. the book, the one about the..
The book Pete, the one you were researching, remember Pete? The book? When's it coming out Pete? You know, the book you were writing.
by montex66 November 14, 2009 2:39 AM PST
Never. Trust. Women.
Reply to this comment
by emperorfurkan November 14, 2009 3:04 AM PST
SIMPLY awesome ... ~~~ cheers for the 61 year old woman ~~~
Reply to this comment
by SilentDaeth November 14, 2009 6:00 AM PST
They should send all the underage girls to prison, too. Oh wait, they don't know any better, right? Yeeaahhhh, suuuurrreee. Just a bunch of stupid kids that don't know what they are doing. All of them are tricked all the time. They never actually wanted to talk with older guys when they enter those rooms, thats right. Everything is just like it was in the 60s, people under 18 never want to get it on or have a drink and always listen to their parents.
Reply to this comment
by Chao_Sama November 14, 2009 6:28 AM PST
Surely your not implying this is the underage girls fault?????
by SilentDaeth November 14, 2009 6:51 AM PST
No I am not implying this is solely the girls fault that talked to him, but saying that the girl played no part in this and is completely innocent is ridiculous. If teenagers are culpable enough to commit murder and be punished for it, they are surely culpable enough to understand their choices in these other matters. But the old man knew what he was doing too. What I am saying is that it is equal now adays and should be treated as such.
by Roy2115 November 14, 2009 9:17 AM PST
Yeah the teenage girl is not innocent, but that's the thing, she's a teenager. She hasn't matured yet (not that everyone eventually matures). That's why there are laws in place to protect children.

Also, we don't know how old the 60 year old man claimed to be. For all we know, he could have been saying he was 15 or 16.
by gggg sssss November 14, 2009 5:35 PM PST
well maybe
by sparrowhyperion November 14, 2009 7:38 AM PST
This guy should have been flogged, stoned, and THEN executed in a state sanctioned manner...
Reply to this comment
by gggg sssss November 14, 2009 5:36 PM PST
like women wearing pants in Iran i suppose
by Me-- November 14, 2009 7:59 AM PST
interesting article... not related to technology though... i'm very disappointed with cnet for allowing such articles to be posted here!
Reply to this comment
by shane--2008 November 14, 2009 8:03 AM PST
maybe you missed the computers, chat room, webcam, and legal meets tech issues. try reading the article or even the title next time...
by 4score20 November 14, 2009 10:13 AM PST
Men who do the sorts of things this one did tend to be secretive by nature, they're never truly present in their marriages and their wives sense this. Pedophiles generally choose spouses who are comfortable with emotional distance and who won't become detectives when they suspect something. They usually choose weak women. This pedophile chose a wife who might have tolerated the emotional distance for 20 years, but unfortunately for him, was a bit of a detective. The fact that she didn't confront him first tells me there was never any love or trust between them and she had probably wanted out of the marriage anyway so this was a good opportunity.
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by AXG November 14, 2009 11:22 AM PST
This is some smart thinking by the wife. Yes, she could have confronted him as some have suggested but what would that have achieved? The husband would have most likely cried and begged for forgiveness and then continued with his "enterprise" albeit more secretively. She put an end to it permanently by going to the authorities. This was the right thing to do when she discovered a crime being committed. No need to bring husband/wife love or relationship into this. She probably saved more than one minor from being exploited online.
Reply to this comment
by 4score20 November 14, 2009 11:43 AM PST
"She put an end to it permanently by going to the authorities."

If only this were true. She put an end to it for her in that she's no longer with him but pedophiles never stop what they do until they're dead.
by montex66 November 14, 2009 3:26 PM PST
That's some real smart thinking, AXG. That wife will now be a divorce with very little chance of ever remarrying. Of course, she will likely be legally enabled to strip her husband of all his wealth and be granted alimony for the rest of her life. So, yeah AXG, she is really smart. If that sort of integrity is your idea of smart.
by montex66 November 14, 2009 3:23 PM PST
All these stories seem to take for granted that it has been firmly established that the girls in question have explicitly stated their age. How do any of us know that is true? How do we know that the girls are not claiming to be 18 but in fact are much younger? We never get to see the transcripts and we just accept that the man was a pervert or pedophile because he thought the girl was under age. There is a profound cultural bias to believe that all men are predatory and all girls are innocent victims when nothing could be further from the truth. We have a problem believing that teenage girls have any kind of sexuality and see attention from older, wealthier and more established men. I believe that a significant percentage of these girls claim to be older than they are to get the attention they are seeking and the men are entrapped into conversations that they believe they are having with an of-age female. Like I said before - never trust women.
Reply to this comment
by 4score20 November 14, 2009 4:41 PM PST
I think most people are assuming he's a pedophile because,

from the article:

"Police found dozens of illegal child porn images on Roberts' home computer and he initially understood he had been caught through downloading them."

Also,

"When interviewed, Roberts denied having sex with any schoolgirls - but admitted he was "prepared to do so".

And again,

"Roberts, of Bridgend, south Wales, had admitted engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child and making and possessing illegal images at an earlier hearing."
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by Farthing Haypenny November 16, 2009 11:40 PM PST
' by 4score20 November 14, 2009 11:43 AM PST
"She put an end to it permanently by going to the authorities."

If only this were true. She put an end to it for her in that she's no longer with him but pedophiles never stop what they do until they're dead'

===========

This guy was not psychologically a pedophile, who by definition feel an intense desire for prepubescent children. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia) There is often not a legal distinction between abusing a prepubescent child and a postpubescent minor, but the sort of behavior you ascribe to "pedophiles" is associated with those who abuse prepubescent children rather than those who abuse minor teenagers. I suspect that one of the reasons that he was given a short sentence is that he is a good candidate for rehabilitation.
Reply to this comment
by 4score20 November 17, 2009 9:46 AM PST
There is no doubt, owing to the evidence of child porn on his computer, his willingness to have sex with children and his sexual acts in the presence of a child, that Roberts is a pedophile. I suspect one of the reasons he was given such a light sentence is that this was the first time he was caught and Britain may be more lenient with "first-time" sexual predators. If he were caught here in the U.S. perhaps the outcome would have been different.
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About Technically Incorrect

Chris Matyszczyk brings a fresh and irreverent perspective to the tech world in his CNET blog, Technically Incorrect. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.

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