In Apple parody, Florida says 'there's no app for this'

Everyone and their band seems to be leaping on some kind of wagon with an Apple logo and attempting to rob it of its jewelry and gold coins.

The latest to try to capitalize from poking a little fun at Apple's treasure chest are the Florida Keys and Key West.

In an ad that would feel like it was for the iPhone if it was executed with slightly more style, the Keys hope to persuade you that "There's no app for this."

"This" refers to the fun of wondering if a disgruntled local houseboat resident who believes tourists are venal vermin might ruin your vacation.

No, wait, I think I have read one too many Carl Hiassen novels, in which pretty much every resident of Florida is trying to cheat every other resident of Florida (or unsuspecting visitor) out of house, home, dog, wife or, well, life.

So, in fact, what I meant to say was that the Keys believe that no iPhone app can substitute for a real Florida Keys experience, in which the sun will set beautifully, the canoe will never capsize, and no shark will ever approach you as you snorkel your way to a new level of consciousness.

If you were to choose an app over a vacation, one imagines that several schools of psychiatric medicine had already given up on your ghost.

I am concerned, though, that should someone from Apple be making like Grumpy the Dwarf, they might be upset at the Keys' use of the iPhone's rather characteristic finger wipe.