Verizon's iPhone insults have only just begun

It seems as if Verizon Droid's avowedly male positioning will now include finger-pointing, high-pitched taunts, and echoes of "na-na-nana-na".

After revealing that Verizon has placed the iPhone on the Island of Misfit Toys, Ad Age is reporting that in the next Droid ad, the iPhone will be the subject of another touching description.

Apparently, the ad says the Droid "swaps semi-functional, giggling-brat-vanity for a bare knuckle bucket of does."

Oh, yes, the Droid is flexing its youthful muscles.

(Credit: CC Oakley Originals/Flickr)

One can never have enough buckets of does in this complex life. And it is refreshing to see someone spending $100 million in an attempt to take on the prom queen of cell phones.

However, these ads heap pressure on the Droid to perform as a phone and, indeed, as an item to be seen with.

Functionality can only take one so far. Somehow, I recall General Motors being the brand of supposed functionality. And that didn't quite, well, function for the company as things turned out.

[sharmajunior]

It's about time.

[xilonic]

Really? I had higher opinion of VZ until these desperate ads started airing. Like political attacks, they produce nothing but bad PR for the company in consumer's view. Get your sh*t together and stop wining, Verizon.

[nbvail]

I agree, Verizon CEO should have been fired by noth taking the iPhone when it was offered to him, and Motorola, how did you loose your edge for so many years????

[Random_Walk]

Really? Because I've never had much use for a bucket of female deer... though how you fit more than one in there I'll never guess. Must be a really big bucket. ;)

[renGek]

Oh you mean like apple attack ads on microsoft. How is that any different?
Can't dish it if you can't take it.

[InkyRed]

Why can't everyone think like RenGek. Good job dude, Apple deserves it anyway for teaming up with ****** Att. Though I love my iPhone, I'm willing to sell it if the new Xperia X10 has good reviews. It's all about aesthetics baby!!

[Random_Walk]

So tell us - how is an ad attacking AT&T's carrier coverage an attack on the iPhone?

[Swingline2121]

How is it not an attack, the iPhone is only available on At&t's network and they say that the network sucks resulting in the phone having limited functionality, a clear attack to steal prospective iPhone customers.

Also @ renGek I think those commercials are awful, lets take a fact and blow it way out of proportion while only giving 1/2 the story.

[xilonic]

I never said anything about Apple's ads - their attacks on MS are not any better, so no need to make a comparison.

I used to think of VZ as a progressive company, competing on the basis of latest technology, not wining and nonsense attacks, produced by the desperate marketing department. Educated consumer knows better that VZ 3G does not compare so well to AT&T 3G, despite broader coverage. iDon't ads are another example of how hard VZ is biting its nails in its iPhone envy. Companies that complete with empty words, not products, do not deserve much respect, IMHO.

[ccmike72]

i think the original droid commercial the idon't adds was pretty good advertising. It highlighted the advantages of the droid over the iphone and created some buzz. You have to do something to jolt the brainless masses that buy apple simply because its hip (not describing all apple supporters just those who are clueless like the people that bought an ipod and didn't know what an mp3 player was). I don't get all the whining. Somebody called apple out for all the iphone doesn't due.
Is the droid perfect. No, buts thats why you have to be an intelligent consumer and not just follow the ads on tv.
Just sounds like great competition to me.

and on a side note can we stop with the nonsense about the droid being so huge and heavy when it barely bigger than the iphone. Its just silly.

maybe apple can create an "iphone" character and run ads like the ones they run against MS.

[thelemurking]

xilonic,

how much TV do you watch? I can't watch primetime without seeing some Apple commercial doing exactly what you are talking about. Every Mac vs. PC commercial is nothing but FUD mudslinging, that comes off more desperate than any political commercial I can recall in recent years. I can't think of one Apple commercial that talks about Apple... it's all dissing Microsoft Windows.

How's that for irony?

So if this commercial displeases you, then I say it's about time you got a fair dose of the same medicine that Apple has been doing for some time now.

[nicmart]

Wedding the iPhone to AT&T was not one of Apple's smartest moves.

[hafenbrack]

wedding the iPhone to At&T made sense, so they only had to develop a phone to work on GSM networks, since the reast of the world uses that network type.

[tektaktyks]

yea but making it gsm and locking it was pretty lame

[commun6]

Remember that Verizon turned down the iPhone. It helps to have a carrier who is willing to share revenues with you and not cripple the functions of the phone. It took Verizon three years to decide that this was OK.

[Josh Freedman]

Actually it was perhaps its smartest move.

If you go back three years when the iphone was getting ready for release, no other carriers were willing to give Apple to type of control over the design and function of the iphone.

Apple really opened the door for the type of functionality you see today. By wedding the iphone to AT&T, Apple was able to create the best smartphone on the market. If they ended up making a more universally compatible phone, there was no way that all carriers would support all the functions.

Now, by todays standards, the deal may not look so great, but everyone considering purchasing the Droid should really thank Apple and AT&T for opening the door to these type of devices.

[cvaldes1831]

@tektaktyks:

The lock is a stipulation of the carrier, not Apple. In some countries, it is illegal to carrier lock phones.

[MaggieRed]

Originally it was Cingular to whom the deal was struck. Within a short period of time, AT&T bought Cingular and the iPhone released a short time later as a deal with AT&T.

At the time, Cingular had the best name in the business across the country. AT&T ruined that company.

[only_truth]

@MaggieRed

It was actually Cingular who bought AT&T, with the stipulation to change the name of Cingular to AT&T because it was a household and recognizable name. So in a way, it was Cingular who ruined AT&T.

[frogpondmedia]

Actually, it was Cingular who bought AT&T Mobility... the cellular branch of AT&T, one of the many pieces being sliced and diced. Cingular was larger... they were the guys using GSM, while AT&T was on D-AMPS at the time (they called it TDMA... GSM voice is also a TDMA technology, but an incompatible one).

[FormerPCwonk]

Actually, wedding the iPhone to AT&T happened to be VERY smart. Have you seen the most recent financials? Let's face it. . .there's never before been an ad campaign by a carrier to combat a single device, and such campaign is only necessary because of the iPhone's massive success.

It does make you wonder though. . .where was this 2.5 years ago, i.e. before Apple sold 40+ million iPhones and iPod Touch units and built an app store with 100,000 apps? In this case, "late" is necessarily better than "never."

[jakemochas]

80% of the apps are never even downloaded... please say 20000 fart and burp apps to make people happy

[Seaspray0]

There's more than one kind of wine, isn't there? Sometimes you're in the mood for a red wine, sometimes a white wine. Feeling grouchy? There's a fart app for that. The burp app is like icing on the cake. btw, the fart app is one of the most popular apps.

[dbargen]

"Our network is better!"
"The competition is a (insert womanly label here)!"

Seriously? That's all they've got? In a world where the competition made inroads with its straightforward function-by-function superiority arguments, the barking of the droid commercials sounds like its coming from a drop-kickable yappy dog instead of a bull mastiff. There's nothing behind that bark besides a single, relatively debatable point as far as we can tell from the ads.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of the masculine surety ads. Take Bobby Howe in his ads for Chevy trucks. Putting it to Ford with their "man step" (read old man step) and Dodge's heated steering wheel for the guy who gets manicures, the simple 5 word statement and rueful head-shake response is the kind of thing most men can identify with.

I would hardly call, "finger-pointing, high-pitched taunts, and echoes of 'na-na-nana-na'" masculine. Juvenile, certainly, but masculine, not really. Masculine has wit and power behind understated bravado. Juvenile male traits extend to the topic here. Perhaps droid ads are appealing to the little boy in all of us. Or maybe, that's all the masculinity this author knows. Call it environmental rather than genetic.

[patch991]

The would be Howie Long vice Bobby Howe ...

[nixermac]

Not sure where the whole problem is. I like the VZ ads but then I live in a city where the 3G network is awesome from ATT and I use an iPhone. Then again when I am traveling, I barely need 3G even it is available in the middle of nowhere on the way to Fargo. I do not stop by to check my mail there, and my phone call goes through over whatever network is present.

If my iPhone is a misfit-toy then, I am really living it. It certainly not a toy and I don't want it to be. I do serious stuff, like mail, calendering, banking and finance and finally I do ssh and vpn over to manage the servers remotely. Can the droid do that or is it missing the zen of the Jedi masters?

[cloudmatt]

long as it has java it should be able to manage nicely(assuming a novel network). Then again my first gen T-mo Dash can do that.

as for the bickering it all stems back to the childhood. Once your friend had the Special edition Kung-fu grip Heman you had to get the super power cart to keep up. Most people I see with i-Phones and other smart devices aren't even useing 10% of what they have. It's all about who has the newest shiniest toy with the most buttons(or total lack of buttons).

I'd like a Droid someday but my dash fills and exceeds my needs as is. Maybe I'll hold out for R2-D2.

[nutjob]

I like the VZ and motorola ads. Interesting that since the iphone VZ and ATT have the same percentage of customers. The ads are nothing short of the PC/MAC ads brought to the phone platform. Mac boys love to dish it but really can not take it.

[Galen20K]

Nope Apple and ATT never should have gotten together, it would have been popular on ANY network and ATT is just NOT the favorable network in any way shape or form. They really turned the iPhone into a cheap junky piece of unworkable plastic. Also maybe next time they can throw a real OS on it as really it only has a program launcher and not an os.

[protagonistic]

A cellphone is nothing more or less than a tool. I buy a tool based on how it handles the job I need it for. These ads, while cute and a bit abrasive, seem counter productive to me. If my present tool does what I need it to do then trying to tell me that the new tool does so many more things that I really don't need and wouldn't use just does not cut it. Just tell me what your tool does and and make sure I can use it without having to carry around a five pound manual.

I presently use an iPhone and with a second regular cellphone I pay about $80 a month. While I do think the Droid looks interesting unless Verizon can match that and give me better coverage in my area it will be a tough sell. I live in one of the few areas where AT&T has better coverage, thanks to buying out the old Cellular One system.

[ikramerica--2008]

True, but the problem with the iPhone is it can't be a tool and a toy at once. You can play a game, but can't pause that game to check for an important email, for example. Only the music player can stay running while you do other things. And it can't be two tools a once. You can't stay connected using VNC, for example, while checking an email for information you need to make changes on the computer you are remotely controlling. You have to log back in to VNC each time you navigate away from it.

I like my iPhone, and don't think it needs 100% multitasking, but it should at least offer "suspend multi-tasking" where the app you leave is frozen, not quit, when you leave. That functionality barely uses more battery than the current paradigm.

[shuyin84]

ikramerica-
alot of iphone apps are being programed to do just that now, so that if you do close the app, you can pick up right from where you left off, some of the older apps may not support this just yet, but recent updates have been allowing for trhis

[Norseman]

The inability to get back to where you were in a game after leaving the app is really the fault of the game sofware, not the iPhone. My two favorite games are Freecell and Sudoku, and the versions I have on the iPhone both allow me to pick up where I left off when I return to the app. If a game starts from scratch every time you start the app, the game is the badnik.

[kelmon]

Seriously, who cares? If you actually care what model of phone someone else uses, you've got bigger issues to sort out.

[ikramerica--2008]

Well, I do rib people who are still using a 4 year old phone and then complain about it to me. But that's their own fault. I don't really care what brand they have, but they might want to live in the now, or shut up about it. :)

[Seaspray0]

I just upgraded my phone. It makes phone calls very well. That's what it's supposed to do.

[frogpondmedia]

If you think it's really a phone, you don't want or need a smart phone. It's really a general purpose pocket, networked computing device... calling it a "phone" is just force of habit.

Device choices, particularly expensive ones, always devolve in to a "me" vs "you" or "us" vs "them" argument. That could be Ford vs. Chevy, PC vs. Mac, Canon vs. Nikon, Coke vs. Pepsi, etc... it's a time honored tradition. The only reason the iPhone itself hasn't been dragged into such a contest yet is that no one's really had a direct competitor until just recently.

RIM and WinCE/WinPhone devices have never been marketed as consumer device, they're business tools. Palm was too, pretty much, and they were MIA until just recently, anyway... and now, with all those ex-Apple guys there, magically doing the consumer-oriented thing. Android is aimed straight at consumers, and the DROID is better in nearly every way, hardware-wise, going up against the iPhone. So of course it's time to start this battle here.. but the same battle is part of human nature.

You observe this nowhere more readily than among the MacFaithful. You have to be a little different to be a Mac users.. you leave the PC jungle for a polished and perhaps too clean monoculture, complete with its own God. You have to accept the wisdom of that God over your own.. you have to love Big Brother, er, Apple, in the end, or you're doomed. I have witnessed many of the MacFaithful jumping to defent Jobs or Apple before they're even properly attacked, much as devotees of EST or Scientology have done in their day.

They never mind the fact that Apple's been constantly on the attack in the PC biz for years now. But reverse it, and you find that perhaps all that basking in the rose-colored glow of the Reality Distortion Field is not terribly good for one's skin. Apple users, and Apple themselves, were up in arms about Microsoft's latest "I'm a PC" campaign, particularly when it moved into stores and suggested the heresy that maybe a Mac isn't worth 2x-3x the price of PC with the same chips and storage in the box. So it's no surprise Apple fans are similarly out of joint with Apple seeing their first real competition in the modern smart phone market, and actually having that called out.

[CreativeMalcolm]

No OS? Dude as far as an OS it's got the most advanced one on a cell phone anywhere. Do you know what an OS is? The OS is what everything runs on top of. The home screen is not the OS, it's part of the OS. The OS is everything from the drawing engine, to the media play back engine, to the web browsing framework, etc etc etc.

I think Apple making ATT pay through the nose was a great idea, but I think now that the device has hit mass market share, they need to open it up to whatever other carriers are out there. VZ better be careful though, how awful would it be for them if Sprint and Tmobile and even some smaller carriers got the iPhone, but Steve decided to hold a grudge and not offer it through them :)

[cloudmatt]

Ironically funny idea but Steve much like everyone else likes money. I would expect to see the GSM networks(ie. T-mo) get the first next crack at the i-Phone followed by a huge CDMA(verizon, virgin, etc.) release. Verizon would not carry the i-Phone only for a few reasons. 1) No CDMA i-Phone to speak of 2) No projected profit for carrying it, and 3) Apple being Unwilling to accept Verizon's Lock down of the device. other than that apple would be foolish to exclude Verizon as long as the cdma hardware was there, Verizon is too big to ignore and far to much of a profit engine to not be the desired network to sell your equipment through.

[trenen]

Cloudmatt -

1.) Verizon would (and will) carry an iPhone, just not on the CDMA network. It boggles me how often people forget that VZW is deploying their LTE (4G) network as we speak in select markets, and expect full market saturation by the end of 2010. LTE will be universal around the world, unlike CDMA, so it seems pretty obvious that VZW will get an iPhone next year or early 2011. LTE is the next GSM. Look it up.

2.) How would there be no profit??? There are over 80 million people that are potential adopters of the iPhone, plus all the numerous consumers that WILL leave AT&T once VZW gets the newest iPhone. PLUS potential consumers that are not on any network. Potential for profit is HUGE.

3.) What lock-down? Are you still stuck on the RAZR? Have you not been paying attention to all the latest phones that have hit VZW this past year? All the latest Blackberry's are completely 'un-gimped', as are many of the dumb-phones, and now the new Droid line. Many old phones that were crippled have been uncrippled. Have you had your hands on a Motorola Droid? The only mark VZW has on the Droid is the branding on the body and a Verizon Apps tab under the Android Market. Other than those two things, you wouldn't know it was a VZW phone...there is not even an ERI banner saying you are on Verizon! You can't even download most of VZWs premium services because they WANT you to use the FREE apps...such as Google Nav.

People need to get the 'old' VZW out of their heads...it's ignorant looking. The new VZW is competitive and cutting edge. They don't "lock" their phones anymore... not even GPS.

[frogpondmedia]

LTE isn't the next GSM.. LTE is the next EvDO or HSDPA/UMTS... it's the 4G answer to today's 3G cellular networks. Unless you're Sprint (and thus, Virgin, Boost, TracPhone, CREDO Mobile, and various other MVNOs on Sprint's network).. they're already rolling out WiMax as their choice in 4G. Most of the world will be LTE.

Thing is, LTE is going out in stages... it'll be many years before you could use an LTE-only phone. Today's phones run on 3G networks, but they also support the orginal digital voice connections.. you can't always get a 3G connection. Same will be true in 4G.. you'll have CDMA+LTE phones and GSM+LTE phones rolled out for 4G. At some point, the older standards may vanish.. but consider, AT&T's old DAMPS system was just turned off last year.

Apple certainly could do just what Palm did in the Pre... the tiny bit of hardware that's different between GSM and CDMA phones is located on a small module. So Palm can launch a GSM version of the Pre very easily. QualComm already have a chip that does both protocols, so the differences could eventually just be a matter of the baseband software.

[ivorycruncher]

I wish Verizon was pushing the HTC Droid Eris as much as the Motorola Droid. They both have their strong points, and if somebody doesn't like the Droid, there's a good chance they'd like the Droid Eris. Publicizing both phones would probably generate many more sales, because then they'd be showing that there's something for everyone. For me, that something is the Eris, which I'll be receiving today. Granted, the Eris did get one brief mention in the misfit toys ad, but just barely.

[Static-X-Machina]

Well said. This really could have been planned better.

[aj37viggen]

Cheez, who's running Verizon's ad campaign -- the Republican National Committee?

It's the same strategy: "Make stuff up and scream insults."

[shuyin84]

agreed

[renGek]

same people who does "hi I'm a mac" because those ads don't sound like "make stuff up and scream insults".

[Swingline2121]

Yup Apple just uses negative stereotypes and nonchalant lies to get people to join a bandwagon.

[Download Maniac]

Keep politics out of this column. Besides, the liberal democrats are the kings of insults and name calling.

[Gromit801]

@renGek

The Mac vs PC ads are based on years of complaints by PC users. That's undeniable. It's why comedy is funny, it's usually true.

The Driod ads are like being stuck in an election year, and just as sickening.

[DroidLove]

I think the ad is aimed at the large east and west coast cities that are wallowing in poor AT&T network performance. Clearly, WIFI is WIFI. If you're in a locale that has it, all is well no matter what platform you're on. I've had my DROID for 48 hrs and am loving it. It is awesome. I hope the DROID turns out to be a worthy alternative. Competition is good for everyone.

[ikramerica--2008]

Absolutely. A strong rival to the iPhone would force Apple to add some features they have balked at, and kick it up a notch with the spice weasel. BAM! And that would force Droid 2.0 to be better.

[shuyin84]

The thing about apple is though, is that if any feature of any of it's devices prevent the device from meeting their standards, apple rejects the feature or the whole device. So the frivolous things like flash and customizable screens, that no one really cares about, that drain the battery faster would never be put on the iPhone cause it lessens the quality of the device.

[bmccorm2]

Question about the droid:

How is the spell check compared to the iPhone? For example, when you type "you" and mistakenly key "yoy" will the droid fix the error like the iPhone? How is the rest of the corrective text?

Thanks!

[renGek]

Yup I agree. You have to have competition otherwise the leader becomes complacent and makes you miserable. Microsoft didn't do jack with IE until firefox came along. Their PR dept pretty much screwed everyone with vista but losing shares to apple helped MS's IT to regain control with win 7.

Pretty much doing the same with apple and cellphones. They came up with a good idea but droid is making it more complete this round.

Its all good. I'm just tired of iphone users who suddenly thinks their livelihood is in danger because a new cell phone is taking attention away from their ability to shove their phone in people's faces and go "look at my iphone OMG its so great and shiney. I'm not sure what it can do but its SHINEY!!".

I think some of this is teetering on hyperbole. I've been reading the articles about Verizon making fun of the iPhone. Other than the "iDon't" add, almost every commercial featuring an iPhone has been focused on the weekness of the network. It remains to be seen whether this will be a successful play. In some ways, the ads state the obvious. Verizon's network is better. However, not everyone follows technology as closely as those who post on Cnet (including yours truly).

Personally, I am equally fatigued by the incessant Apple ads about Windows PCs, as I am by the "we're better than you" Verizon ads. The first rule, in my book, is to not even acknowledge the competition. At least do it so obliquely that it's clever.

[Brad S. S.]

Verizon may as well start calling the iPhone "un-American."

[shuyin84]

^^^^^^^^^^^
coming soon to a television near you

[Swingline2121]

McCarthyism at its finest.

[ccmike72]

Get a life

[Static-X-Machina]

Or perhaps everyone including you are taking this "Wai t00 srsly!"
"BUT STATIC! INTARWEB AR SRS BIZNIS!"
Sure it is...
Calm down, have some dip.
It's a television ad..... 'nuff said.... >_>
I guess the apple PC fan bois feel like windoze PC fanbois do about the nonsense that is shoved through TV ads every day courtesy of apple. And yes, this is relevent as it happens to be a relation to how people feel about slanderous ads. Don't point the trollish finger at me for bringing it up because it was begging to be said when car brands were brought up. YOU opened pandoras box my friend.
I mean it's about like "Better ingredients, Better pizza." It's all the friggin' same man. Same pepperoni, same cheese, same crust! Just in a different colourful BOX.
Oh boy, wait a sec. Here we go. I know what some trolls will say.
"It's not the same maaaaan! Clockings blah blah blah better metal, blah blah blah, build one of this quality and it's the same price."
Right whatever. Keep telling yourself that.
I build a system from the ground up for 900.
Apple builds the same thing FOR me and ships it to me brand'd and logo'd for 1200.
Buy now! Pay later!
But like I said earlier.... 'Nuff said already.
This has been covered until now it's just what it is.... a dead horse. Stop beating it. Please?

[atomicblue]

Having a male toy isn't gonna sell a lot of phones! Females make up a huge % of the smartphone market and ignoring them is just bad marketing.

[Canok]

Cancellation fee of $345 is the biggest deterrent to signing with VZ.

I wonder how they feel it Apple or ATT do a *** for tat with them which I believe is very easy.

Anyway people living in glass houses should learn to refrain from throwing stones.

[allen b--2008]

"It seems as if Verizon Droid's avowedly male positioning will now include finger-pointing, high-pitched taunts, and echoes of "na-na-nana-na"."

If chris thinks calling the iPhone a glam item is immature, I wonder what his opinion is of calling a PC an old bald guy? Oh wait, I already know. Those ads are from the realm of we-can-do-no-wrong...

[bitofbetterbutter]

Any ad that causes this much controversy is obviously working.

The Droid is not a threat to the iPhone right now - it's new, still has some glitches to work out, and it's not on AT&T's network. I don't know that I would've purchased the Droid if the iPhone was at Verizon, but it's the best phone for me on the network of my choice. The Droid is an awesome phone in concept, but only time will tell if it is going to be stable enough to compete, if developers come up with the tools that we want, etc. There are still some cool, useful apps for iPhone that aren't available on the Droid and several more apps on the Android Marketplace that are not designed to take advantage of Droid's larger screen. I want to see Droid succeed (obviously, since I purchased one), but comparing it to the most successful smart phone of all time is premature, to say the least.

[shuyin84]

you would think that Verizon would have learned from all the other failed "iPhone killers" that if you market your phone as an iPhone killer, it's just gonna kill itself, I'm personally hoping that apple will fight back with an "Hello, I'm an iPhone, and I'm a droid commercial."
I also find it curious that apple hasn't responded to any of Verizons attacks against it. Could they have an ace in the hole that we haven't heard about, or is apple just being "the bigger man" in all this and not resorting to mud-slinging campaigns like its lesser? Curious....

[FIREitUP913]

Shuyin84,

I think you have become such an apple fanboy that apple has been reeming you from behind so many times they they blew their apple load into your brain and made you half r*tarded. Mud sling campaigns? Have you seem the "im a pc im a mac" commercials that have been playing for years? No, you are to busy bl*wing Steve Jobs. As far as the IDon't commercials, don't be butt hurt because they are true.