Bird drops baguette, halts Collider

I am all for discovering the Meaning of Life. And though I was once concerned that you could never trust scientists enough to find it, many wise people persuaded me that we should still try.

However, I am concerned with the news reported by the Guardian that a hungry bird has halted testing on the Large Hadron Collider.

The Collider, positioned on the increasingly sensitive border between France and Switzerland, has been quiet for more than a year after electrical faults and helium leaks.

What does it all mean?

(Credit: CC Mark Hillary/Flickr)

It is now being tested to prepare it for action and reaction. However, a de-beaked piece of bread that dropped into the machine appears to have caused a power outage.

CERN spokesperson Christine Sutton told the Guardian: "The problem related to the high voltage supply. We get mains voltage from the grid, and there was an interruption in the power supply, just like you might have a power cut at home. The person who went to investigate discovered bread and a bird eating the bread."

I know there will be some who might suggest that the bird was actually French, as the bread has been identified as being of baguette form.

However, shouldn't we be more concerned with the metaphysics of physics?

There are, according to the New York Times, some scientists who believe that this God particle experiment is being interfered with by time-traveling particles from our own future.

We need surely to be told not whether the bird was French but whether it was real, or whether it was some strange messenger from a future time, warning us not to mess with things we don't quite understand.

[katiepea]

haha.... hahahahahahaha

[mrcjacobs]

A bird took out the LHC! Are you kidding me? Seriously, this thing is going to kill us all! It has been plagued by more mishaps than I care for. And the science behind this whole thing is as dubious as the famous "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky" speech. Scientists have no real clue if or what will happen if this thing creates black holes. I'm all for scientific exploration but the LHC concerns me.

[lfreel]

Mmmmm,Yeah, and the first atomic bomb was supposed to set the atmosphere on fire.

[Lerianis3]

Then you, mrcjacobs, are an idiot of the first caliber. The fact is that the LHC is being dissed by so many people who have NO scientific background whatsoever. Also, the science behind this thing is NOT dubious at all, unless you are talking that Einstein's theories are 'dubious', which they are not.

[morton101]

wow?

[diver-1]

Must have been a spotted quark, very rare birds.

[ruyjau]

I heard it was a red breaster muon

[kfelix18]

it might be too early to say this but i think the LHC is a fiasco!

[sparrowhyperion]

No.. It's not to early to say it. It is a fiasco... It's like the 600 megaton Gorilla sitting in your living room. No one wants it there, but no-one wants to tell it to leave.

[sktuarim]

Hmmm, seems like this bird not only ruffled a few feathers but has fowled the attempts to get this project off the ground.

[htcstech]

Ermm.... 'fouled' and not 'fowled'

[JeffreyNonken]

htcstech: Maybe it was... hmmm... a pun? You know, a play on words? Coupling the similar spelling and identical pronunciation of the two words with the fact that the source of this mishap was a bird?

Nah. Better to ruin the joke and assume the guy is an idiot.

[Deekman]

Geez htcstech, he couldn't possibly have been making a pun on the word "fowl" could he? If you're going to correct people's grammar and spelling, you should probably grow a sense of humor first. Good grief.

[htcstech]

OMG! 'Fouled' as in bread fouling the supply! Geez!
And yes, I did get the original pun....

[sktuarim]

Well, I was hoping to ruffle someone's feathers by my puns. Guess my wording/spelling did its job.

HEHEHEHE

[62Sparkplug]

I think this recent mishap at the LHC lends more proof to the "Butterfly Effect."

[CupertinoBill]

bunch of damn luddites here.

[ghostofitpast]

When it comes to the secrets of life, the universe, and everything, everyone knows (dare I say it) THE BIRD IS THE WORD!

[xander_v]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[bratzdad]

So now do we have to say "I'm sorry, but there seems to be a BIRD in the program," instead of a "bug"?

[HamSammy]

Make the bad puns go away mommy.

[htcstech]

It was probably an European Swallow. Highly unlikely that it was African, however there is an element of uncertainty here.
I reckon some Frenchman left bits of their lunch, probably a baguette with some fois gras, cheese, an apple and maybe a half-litre of cheap red in a plastic bottle. So during his siesta, the bird made off with the bread.

[TheDrumThumper]

Perhaps we should consult the Book of Armaments then.

[Hokulea]

Oh great! The sky is falling yet again. Lucky for me I still have Pop-Tarts left over from Y2K.

[bratzdad]

i doubt it was a French bird. The technician who spotted the bird in the cils would have been able to tell easily. I overhear some guy saying that French birds have hairy legs and use lots of colone. I wonder, did the bird that shut down the Collider smell like colone?

[Spartan_458]

The LHC is so huge and complex, it's no wonder it isn't getting off the ground.

[tinlizziedl]

Imagine the havok should a skeletal x-ray of a quacker show up amidst the quarks. More seriously, I'm not surprised. It's a fact of life that the more degrees you pile on someone, the less common sense they typically have. Haven't they ever heard of bird-netting? Head in the clouds...feet in the cow poop.

[badnursie]

I don't know why I read this column. The author is a PR guy, for god's sake, and has so little understanding of science or technology I'm surprised he knows how use a computer.
As for those idiots worried that the LHC will make a black hole and swallow the Earth...well, we can only hope.

[shagless]

I think the bird should be named "Scotty" in honor of Star Trek...reminds me a great line from "Search for Spock" that goes, "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain." Isn't technology wonderful?

[exitsec]

Oh Crumbs, I loaf to think how the bun crossed the hot wires and baked the system.

[sktuarim]

Ah, more puns. Humor makes the world a more wonderful place. Keep them coming.

[Tomofumi]

ok, what's next? a snake?

[Kev-LG]

Seems strange how they haven't released the type of sandwich they think it was. I smell a cover up!