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October 27, 2009 9:00 PM PDT

Apple fanboy's twisted zap at Droid TV spot

by Chris Matyszczyk
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Art knows no boundaries. Neither does the level of emotion inspired by an assault on the culture of Apple.

Just last week, Verizon's Droid attempted to offer a hearty dose of spittle to the iPhone, so one upset Apple aficionado has decided that the Good Empire must strike back.

He has created a YouTube rebuttal that, he believes, offers some perspective.

He says: "iDon't need scare tactics." He says: "iDon't need to imitate." And he declares that the force is with him because "iDon't need a Droid...unless it's R2D2."

Sometimes it's hard to reach the decision that one doesn't need a product whose buttons one has never pushed.

However, one is touched that this person's heart is in an honest and sensitive place. Until, that is, one reads the line that says: "iDon't buy brands that bash other brands."

Perhaps my senses have left me for a well-deserved vacation on Pluto, but I seem to recall Apple rather merrily bashing Microsoft and, indeed, PCs in general, for quite some time now. The Cupertino company does it very well, often with an exalted level of wit.

Yes, as some readers have pointed out, he does offer an "iOops" as a signal to a certain irony.

But this movie still might leave viewers, rather like those who braved "Showgirls" and "Vanilla Sky," somewhat less than fulfilled.

Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.
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by TogetherinParis October 27, 2009 9:13 PM PDT
I provided the story for 'Vanilla Sky' and even I don't remember what it was about. (They got the Beatle to write a song for it, though.)
Reply to this comment
by jedmmj11 October 28, 2009 4:09 AM PDT
(unrelated to above)
when he inserts the clip from the mac ad and says oops, thats making a joke on the "i dont buy from brands that bash other brands"
by jusben1369 October 28, 2009 5:46 AM PDT
Oh thank you jefmmj11. I must admit I missed that the first time too! So why didn't he inset the "virus" based ads after the whole I don't scare people bit?
by anilsudh October 27, 2009 9:13 PM PDT
PC is not a brand!!!
Reply to this comment
by gerrrg October 27, 2009 10:30 PM PDT
Dude, seriously?
by karpenterskids October 28, 2009 5:00 AM PDT
haha...either you're being sarcastic to help prove the point, or else you're a complete and total Apple fanboy.
by Static-X-Machina October 28, 2009 5:35 AM PDT
Go home..... Suck your thumb....
Read a book on PC's
even clones are a brand.
take for instance:
sound cards: sound blaster, creative labs
MOBO(oh wait, anilsudh wouldn't know what that means, The motherboard friend. The shiny thing that everything hooks to INSIDE the computer.):ASUS, MSI, ECS.
Processors: Intel, AMD
RAM sticks: CORSAIR, KINGSTON, PATRIOT
Hard drive: Seagate, western digital, hitachi
Power supply: Antec, thermaltake, Apevia: and my personal fave which is no longer made: XG VORTEC
CD drive: LITE-ON, Samsung, Sony
Video card: ATI, Nvidia
I think my work is done for branding clones.
However PC's do have prebuilt brands my cave dwelling friend. those prebuilt use the same brands I just mentioned and others.
Take for instance: Sony VAIO, Dell, HP, ACER, Toshiba. WAIT LEMME **** SOME PEOPLE OFF HERE! APPLE MAC IS A BRAND OF PC TOO!
To chase rabbit trails I find it so hilarious that apple mac tries to differentiate themselves from PC's so much so as to spend MILLIONS AND MILLIONS in advertising.
Think I'm wrong?
Think again little sheep. PC stands for Personal Computer. Get back to basics and realize that everything you know is a LIE and that Apple is just another brand of PC with an elitist upper 1% OS that nobody but them cares about!
I use a WINDOWS based PC and honestly I couldn't give two FLIPS about apple. It's just another BRAND.

**throws his soap box to across the room for someone else to use**
by CarlinJ216 October 28, 2009 5:59 AM PDT
Static-X-Machina has it right (except I use Windows, Mac OSX, and Linux equally...)
by McDaveH October 28, 2009 5:21 PM PDT
"Sometimes it's hard to reach the decision that one doesn't need a product whose buttons one has never pushed"

Not at all. Most PCs are sold on hardware specs alone without the users even trying out the alternatives.

McD
by sulleleven October 27, 2009 9:25 PM PDT
dude, 23 seconds in. hello?
Reply to this comment
by tismeinaz October 27, 2009 9:25 PM PDT
I think it's cute. You must have missed the oops part.
Reply to this comment
by Jeremy Chappell October 28, 2009 4:15 AM PDT
Unlike the original all the apostrophes actually are (unlike the rather sloppy original). Even Apple's "rabid fanboys" care about "fit and finish".

I'm not sure I want the droid either (Well R2D2 would be cool) but the HTC Hero (the european one) is a different story. I'd also like to love the Palm Pre, but having seen one it feels rather flimsy (the OS is nice though, lets hope Palm can give webOS a better device).

I quite like this, it's nicely "tongue in cheek" and doesn't take itself seriously. While I think the original "Droid Does" ad is rather sloppy the "Droid Does" tagline is clever.
by myles taylor October 27, 2009 9:31 PM PDT
Awwww someone has too much time on their hands. :)
Reply to this comment
by dadsgravy October 28, 2009 1:41 AM PDT
Awwwww someone doesn't have enough. How was work today? How's the family? :)
by myles taylor October 28, 2009 9:07 AM PDT
Pretty good. Work was super busy. Single so no family to worry about.....etc.
by mayadanteamihan October 27, 2009 9:33 PM PDT
It's very well done! And yes, looks like you don't get what the "oops" means.
Reply to this comment
by ml2240 October 27, 2009 9:34 PM PDT
bashing vanilla sky was totally random and unnecessary.
Reply to this comment
by SeizeCTRL October 28, 2009 4:35 AM PDT
Vanilla Sky was a fantastic movie... but then again, I am not a fat, balding cynical ****** who tries way to hard to be funny in every article. I wonder if the author has any joy in his life.
by sshark2 October 27, 2009 9:35 PM PDT
Yeah the oops part seemed pretty self evident seems rather good natured and clever.
Reply to this comment
by beatlejoose October 28, 2009 5:59 AM PDT
I agree, and I'll go a step further, they should air this one on TV as long as they feel the average person will get the bashing part and the oops, but I think as it is, it will no doubt fly over most peoples heads. Though I personally like it as it is. Otherwise they should take that out and leave the rest. If they can just get the copyright issues down, I think they have a great add. I also think that it would really put a bit more room between the iPhone and any other competitor. It's simple yet comprehensive in its strike back message in reinforcing Apples place in this market as well as being cute witty.
by Vegaman_Dan October 27, 2009 9:36 PM PDT
I find the entire idea to be... well...

iRonic.
Reply to this comment
by zmjman08 October 28, 2009 4:35 AM PDT
+1
by Static-X-Machina October 28, 2009 5:37 AM PDT
WIN! YOU SIR GET A FREAKIN' GOLDEN CUPCAKE! WIN WIN WIN!!!!
by jakedown October 28, 2009 6:19 AM PDT
+1

Or perhaps a golden eclair
by Seaspray0 October 28, 2009 10:07 AM PDT
Winner!
by Static-X-Machina October 28, 2009 10:23 AM PDT
No golden eclair. Sorry.
A golden eclair is akin to lightbulbs that only shine on things worth looking at.
Too idealistic. Don't question the logic man just nod your head in agreement.
I had some tea at lunch that had... WAAAAY too much sugar for it to be healthy by the standards of ANYONE! Watch me crash harder than that guy in the castrol GTX commercial right as he hits the ramp!
THINK WITH YOUR DIPSTICK JIMMEH!
by Dalkorian October 28, 2009 10:39 AM PDT
Golden cupcake? Golden eclair? Alright, I agree this was likely the best comment from Dan all year (good one Dan!), so why give him foods he can't enjoy?

What's wrong with you people anyway?
by jimmyhoops October 27, 2009 10:13 PM PDT
iLove it!
Reply to this comment
by gerrrg October 27, 2009 10:30 PM PDT
iDon't.
by Thomas, David October 28, 2009 6:03 AM PDT
iDo

I'll divorce you later
by calisar October 27, 2009 10:48 PM PDT
except the iphone didn't come first.. the lg prada came first. or has everyone just forgot that apple swept this under the rug? apple = 0 creativity.
Reply to this comment
by Splashes October 28, 2009 12:01 AM PDT
Heh. Good one! Had me going there for a second!

Oh wait, you're serious? You're seriously claiming that Apple ripped the Prada? No, seriously?

Okay, you're serious. So let's see -- you're saying Apple ripped the Prada, added zero creativity of their own, yet the Prada is ancient history and the iPhone is taking over the world, presumably because the devilishly clever Apple advertising demons are forcing everyone to buy iPhones via subliminal mind control.

Yup, makes perfect sense. Thanks for sharing.

By the way, Kenneth, what is the frequency?
by montex66 October 28, 2009 12:11 AM PDT
I believe the idea is called "revisionist history". That's where you make a claim about something that's easily proven false, yet by repeating the falsehood over and over, you make it true (at least, that's how your flock sees it). For a modern example, see Fox "news" and the Bush administration.
by Jeremy Chappell October 28, 2009 4:18 AM PDT
Well technically the Apple Newton came first... USRobotics created the Palm Pilot, and later Palm added a phone to that...

(LG Prada - jeez!)
by Random_Walk October 28, 2009 6:26 AM PDT
..rotfl! Have you actually SEEN an LG Prada? That thing had the proportions of a brick!

(and didn't do anywhere near as much...)

You may as well claim that "OAMG! Apple's first computer ripped off an IBM 6250!!!!11!!!11"
by aka_tripleB October 28, 2009 7:53 PM PDT
Well, actually, the Motorola ROKR came first (concerning phone). That's the one Apple swept under the rug hoping everyone would forget.

http://www.apple.com/pr/library/2005/sep/07rokr.html

But technically, the Psion Organizer came first.
by CreativeMalcolm October 27, 2009 10:52 PM PDT
Cute so this was an obvious dig at Motorola/Verizon/Google, but at the same time a bit of a dig at good lo Apple. It's nice. To be honest I don't really appreciate the Droid's campaign thus far because they do poke at the market leader without providing a seriously better solution. It's similar to the viral campaign Sandisk tried with it's Sansa player and their sheep thing they ran. In the end they're telling people not to buy a great product because they don't make it more than they are presenting a better option.

On the other hand, Apple's adds point out that their product does have great things to offer consumers who are frustrated with Windows. To be honest nobody's really frustrated with the iPhone, out of all phones it's got the best customer satisfaction. It'd be one thing to take a shot at RIM who are selling more units but who honestly haven't adapted the Berry OS for consumers at all. (Least not in any meaningful ways) Instead they're just taking cheap shots at Apple which is why the Droid ads leave a dirtier taste than Apple's do.
Reply to this comment
by Jimbo283 October 28, 2009 6:53 AM PDT
I'm frustrated with my iphone. Give me Google Voice & I'll be happy again.
by T_Hoff October 27, 2009 10:57 PM PDT
>> iDon't need scare tactics.

Has he watched the "I'm a Mac. And I'm a PC." commercials?
Reply to this comment
by ckh1272 October 27, 2009 11:31 PM PDT
I guess you also didn't see the very end. It is an obvious satire on the nature of pervasive advertising. More amusing than the Microsoft and Apple commercials. I think it should be on every channel.
by AppleSuxLeo October 27, 2009 11:16 PM PDT
Unfortunately , iPhone is passe...
While talk in the past has focused on Windows Mobile or Palm, the biggest topic of conversation at the ninth annual conference in Santa Clara was Google's 1-year-old smart phone operating system, which has become the darling of the mobile development world.

Frenzied programmers tired of the iPhone as well as companies looking for the next big thing are increasingly turning their attention to the new kid on the block and throwing significant resources behind the fledgling platform.

"Now that Android has many more handsets and carriers, it really looks like it will grow big," said Jaime Gonzales, tech director for Buongiorno, a mobile content company. "I think Android will pass the iPhone in users and developers and eventually in the number of applications."



Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/27/BU3R1ABHTM.DTL&type=tech#ixzz0VCyIsZQt
Reply to this comment
by AppleSuxLeo October 27, 2009 11:26 PM PDT
All the Apple ads in the world won`t change the inevitable. Android is the new kid on the block , and developers love it !
by dadsgravy October 28, 2009 1:59 AM PDT
So a bunch of out of touch, boring, envious white men who couldn't come up with an original idea on their own are going to band together, create something bigger than the iphone, then topple Apple and send them into one hit wonder disgrace?

Let's start with their first problem. It took the first "big thing" to make them fail at looking for the next "big thing".

First is always better then next.
by SeizeCTRL October 28, 2009 4:39 AM PDT
dadsgravy,

Russia was FIRST in space, but it looks like the US did it better. Not bad for a bunch of envious white men.

But hey, I guess android is doing something right to get your panties all piled up in the proverbial wad.
by ballmerisanape October 28, 2009 5:36 AM PDT
No SeizeCTRL... it's just funny that, no matter how successful Apple is.. no matter how obvious it is that they are "doing it right"... some people just can't handle it. Android has a way to go.... and it will likely take a chunk out of RIMs market share.. not Apple.
by zyxxy October 28, 2009 5:37 AM PDT
Except that NASA is going to yield to Cosmos for a few years and the ISS will rely on Soyuz to resupply and transport along with the Euro ATV. The bunch of envious white men got old and the youngsters all thought it was too hard and decided to go into law, banking, and web development.

Follow through is hard, and Apple has shown itself to be able to follow through. If they can keep it up, the only thing that will hold them back is their closed mindset.
by Random_Walk October 28, 2009 6:29 AM PDT
"Android is the new kid on the block , and developers love it !"

...unfortunately, customers will have to love it (or at least hate it less than the competition) before it becomes successful.

I mean, Hell - developers love Linux too, but for some odd reason it has yet to dominate the desktop.

==

"The bunch of envious white men got old and the youngsters all thought it was too hard and decided to go into law, banking, and web development."

Ah, but unlike most other nations, private enterprise is picking up where NASA is leaving off.
by AppleSuxLeo October 27, 2009 11:28 PM PDT
Does iPhone have a metal detector app ?
Android does ; )
Reply to this comment
by dadsgravy October 28, 2009 2:02 AM PDT
I don't even know what to say to that. Do they let you go outside at night? Or is it just during the day with a helmet on?
by Perry_Clease October 28, 2009 4:43 AM PDT
Is that why you wear that tin foil hat?
by zyxxy October 28, 2009 5:40 AM PDT
iPhone has a metal detector app. You activate the microphone while a song is playing and it will identify it for you. Even if it is metal. Or pop, or rock, jazz, whatever. Not sure if it detects polka or not....
by Static-X-Machina October 28, 2009 5:42 AM PDT
*golden cookie given*
Congrats. There's that one thing for me to grin stupidly about all day.
You crack me up.
by Gold_Storm_Mac October 28, 2009 12:54 PM PDT
great. who uses their phone as a metal detector though.
by Splashes October 27, 2009 11:47 PM PDT
It's a fun reversal, but of course Mr. Matyszczyk (winner of the highest consonant-to-vowel ratio award) is right -- it's stupid to claim Apple doesn't bash other brands when Apple's current Mac ad campaign is laser-focused on bashing Windows. If it weren't for that claim, and if the vid producer had ended it with the awesome R2D2 line, this vid would be a lot better.
Reply to this comment
by davidmcelroy_dotmac October 28, 2009 12:28 AM PDT
Dude, do you seriously not understand that the guy put the clip from the Mac vs. PC thing in there -- followed by the "ooops" -- to poke fun at himself for saying that? Can you possibly miss something THAT obvious?
by cloudmatt October 28, 2009 5:17 AM PDT
come one David it's the trend down this comment string. some mac's just can't seem to believe in humor. iDon't like the mac PC commercials but even I have to say they drop a good zinger every so often but some pc guys would willingly beat the tar out of both the "caricatures" if given the chance. you can't say something against some fanboi brand even in jest without getting flames and trolls declaring blasphemy.

my hat is off both the the featured youtuber and the droid commercial that spawned it. they both made me laugh.
by zyxxy October 28, 2009 5:41 AM PDT
His eyes were temporarily blinded by tears of rage! :-)
by 6stringluke October 27, 2009 11:52 PM PDT
How do some people miss the irony? If you keep watching after the "bashing other brands" part, you clearly see part of a Mac Vs PC ad, and a big oops.

Why are so many people taking a joke so seriously. Enjoy your Android, your iphone, your blackberry. Who cares??

If you only use a product so you can lord of over people and feel that since you perceive your item is superior and therefore you are too, then I would make an appointment for some therapy.
Reply to this comment
by Super2online October 28, 2009 4:22 AM PDT
Thank you. I have written extensively about the culture on this site constantly insisting on bashing any and everyone who does not believe in the product, company, organization they have bought into relentlessly. We who love our independence and freedom, and love telling the world we love our diversity, could care less about that when it comes to understanding that people "can" choose something else if they want to and should'nt be derided because of it.

What we should be talking about is the great things that each (insert your hated product) bring to the table and petitioning (insert your hated company) to one up those features in (insert your beloved product). I'm a PC guy but I have taken many opportunities talk about brands that are doing a great job serving their community, particularly Apple. No item is perfect, and certainly no company.

Swallow some of that pride and take the opportunity to talk about what you like about what the competitors to your favorite product are doing and I tell you that deep down inside you will feel a whole lot better about yourself - even if you won't admit it publicly.
by zyxxy October 28, 2009 5:46 AM PDT
Exactly. Anyone here that recognizes my posts knows that I use Windows and Linux. Yet this little dig at Droid was well done, and I really enjoyed it. And I appreciate what Apple has accomplished with the iPod, though I detest iTunes. Not sure how they botched that so badly. Maybe it works better on Mac, but on the PC it is awfully bossy about how it wants to organize your folders. My daughter has an iPod, and I (thankfully) keep a full backup of my music off line. The first time I installed iTunes, it rearranged all my folders! (Grrrrrrrr!) I learned to set the options, but that act required me to wipe my library and reload. Bah! Also, I don't like vendor lock in. Fortunately, you can sync an iPod to a PC without iTunes! Unfortunately, her friends have been giving her iTunes gift cards. :-(
by jusben1369 October 28, 2009 5:52 AM PDT
So my question is - "What's the point of that joke?" I don't bash other brands and then point out you do? I think it kind of waters down the whole point of this spoof. Is he just taking a shot right back at Android? Is he taking a shot at Fanboys who are lighting up the web with comments like the ones he lists and pointing out they've got blinders on? Is he doing both? I guess it would have been clever to do the first or the second but the blended model just seems........blended. Kudos I guess for not taking himself too seriously.
by perfectblue97 October 28, 2009 1:25 AM PDT
Don't get me wrong. I like the iPhone and the iTouch. They are solid platforms with probably the best UI around. HOWEVER, this isn't going to save Apple form some serious competition, particularly because you can do a lot of stuff with Android phones that you'd have to jailbreak an iPhone to do (And thus invalidate your warranty, and all of the other stuff that goes with it).

At the end of the day the fact that the iPhone is a censored and restricted platform and Android is an open one, is probably going to be the deciding factor in long term sales.
Reply to this comment
by corelogik October 28, 2009 2:38 AM PDT
iLOL!

Good come back commercial, very funny.

As for the fanboi's, and yes I mean all of them iPhone, Android, Blackberry, all of them. Just wait and see, one day all carriers will have ALL of these phones. Why? Because customers want them and it's good for their business. Make no mistake, business is what all of these companies are about.

The days of a company leading an ideology are over, if they ever existed anywhere except in your twisted minds.

Instead of being a company fanboi, why don't you become a "solutions" fanboi instead. Much better for the soul, the checking account and the spam level on articles just like this. What does a "solutions" fanboi believe? They believe that every tool has a purpose and they believe in using the best tool for them, for the job, regardless who makes it.

Any other "ideology" is immature, childish and pathetic in this day and age.
Reply to this comment
by UnlabledMilk October 28, 2009 11:46 AM PDT
"Any other "ideology" is immature, childish and pathetic in this day and age."
Made me cringe -- it seems so strange to read something like that and not be able to shove it aside as something utterly retarded.
by Dust_Puppy October 28, 2009 4:15 AM PDT
Slow news day, maybe cnet can get into a war with the White House to boost ratings or something :)

Did this guy get paid for this article? This is like a TMZ article --- good argumentative title to get them the top spot over anything valid on google.

I'm guessing that person who put the ad up is paraphrase the flamewars that ensue on these "news" threads. Love the ad; wonder if it was a mac or PC guy that designed it as it's obviously biting at both sides. Good sense of humor.

Wonder if this article is going to be posted on slashdot it's so pertinent to the tech industry.
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About Technically Incorrect

Chris Matyszczyk brings a fresh and irreverent perspective to the tech world in his CNET blog, Technically Incorrect. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.

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