Study: Facebook makes lovers jealous

It's easily done, that slide into the Facebook face-plant.

You casually slip onto your lover's Facebook page and see that his or her status has been changed from "in a relationship" to "single."

Perhaps you'd had a fight. Perhaps he or she was pressing you for a commitment, a press that you responded to with the wrong words or the wrong tone. Or perhaps you saw that your lover seemed to have a new special friend, one who delighted in commenting on every one of your lover's new photos.

Suddenly, there it all is: love destroyed by a few strokes, not of another's body but rather of a keyboard.

If that woman on Facebook is more than a friend, I'll spike her with my head.

(Credit: CC Lord Khan/Flickr)

Some social psychologists at the University of Guelph in Ontario would like you to know that they can prove that your heartbreak is largely Facebook's fault, or rather that the fault lies in the fact that Facebook exists. After a little research, the wise brains penned a study entitled "More Information than You Ever Wanted: Does Facebook Bring Out the Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy?"

And in their minds was the question of whether the social-networking thing enhances lovers' relationships or perhaps tugs at their essentially brittle strings, unraveling them like a cheap sundress.

It seems to be the latter. In preliminary findings, published in CyberPsychology and Behavior, the researchers found grim tales of lovers torn asunder.

Look, for example, at these words of woe from one Facebooker. Referring to his lover, he says, "I have enough confidence in her to know my partner is faithful, yet I can't help but second-guess myself when someone posts on her wall...It can contribute to feelings of you not really 'knowing' your partner."

fb-study

The researchers put it so knowingly: "Ambiguous scenes involving a partner and contact with past romantic and sexual partners are among the common triggers of jealousy in romantic relationships, and these ambiguous scenes are a regular occurrence on Facebook."

But even worse is the feedback loop. The oracles of Guelph describe it with such accurate precision: "Heightened jealousy leads to increased surveillance of a partner's Facebook page. Persistent surveillance results in further exposure to jealousy-provoking information."

Once you are on that slippery slope, you are headed for slippery slop. Naturally, some respondents (for they were students) began to use the word "addiction" to describe their behavior.

Having read these utterly depressing conclusions, all I can hear right now are the words of the wise human researcher, Sting--or at least some of his words: if you love someone, set them free from Facebook.

[libertyforall1776]

So what's next, Study: Facebook makes lovers polyamorous?

LOL

[pentest]

Not really that different than IM chat logs or emails, or diaries before that.

Insecure people with anger issues have always existed.

[dandanlau]

IM chat and emails are fine because they are personal...
Yea diaries online are kinda the same

[dandanlau]

totally agree.
I know this a long time ago. facebook is a poison

sadly not much people see it until they are in trouble

[pentest]

Not really that different than IM chat logs or emails, or diaries before that.

Insecure people with anger issues have always existed.

[streamline35]

I completely agree. It's not that facebook causes jealousy - it just gives already insecure/jealous people a new way to express it. If facebook wasn't around, they'd be doing it some other way.

[freemarket--2008]

It's simple really. Just grow up. Emotional intelligence is learnable. It leads to better communication and better relationships.

[the_iceman]

my ex-wife flirted w/ the man she cheated on me with using facebook & myspace, so I'm not a big fan.

[Don Key]

@the_iceman

Sorry man, that really sucks but to be honest if she's the kind of woman that would cheat on you then you are better off without her. Facebook or not, she's a horrible person and would have used another outlet.

[Proud_Geek]

Let's go to Facebook's headquarters and burn it to the ground!

- OR -

We could grow the F&%$ up.

[tikoro]

The internet opens new portals to a lot of things, as it has since its inception and even back to its predecessors. It opens up the ability to talk to people that you would never normally talk to, meet, or even know of their existence. Opening the possibilities gives us more choices to make.

The study was a waste of time and money to express knowledge we already know. Humanity has the potential for jealousy. However even before the internet was a concept, people cheated and jealousy existed, murder and suicide and harassment also happened. While sites like facebook may tender an easier method to get the ball rolling on those subjects, you can't say that it [facebook] is the cause of it. After all, facebook doesn't auto-add friends to my account, doesn't arbitrarily change my settings, and doesn't write comments for me. That's all done by individuals.

[Minhisawesome]

Facebook doesn't kill relationships people kill relationships.

[fauxscot]

Jealousy is an indicator of low confidence and selfishness.

People belong WITH each other, not TO each other.

If someone leaves you because they found someone better, guess what? They found someone better. This is what happens in life. Facebook, like cocktail parties, simply increases the exposure folks get to other potential partners.

[ThePrairiePrankster]

My ex-wife cheated on me before there was a product called Windows, much less Facebook...cheaters will cheat no matter what the era or tools you may be using in your life. Facebook is no more or less the cause than cheap booze, dim lights and loud, loud music.