Four states' DMVs frown on smiling

Do I detect the faintest hint of a smile in your driver's license photo? The smile that says, "Gee, I've been here for three days, it's amazing what popping a little E can do to help you through."

Well, perhaps you might rejoice that you don't live in Arkansas, Indiana, Virginia, or Nevada.

Those states--and perhaps more to come--have decided to enact a no-smiling policy on driver's license photos.

Their intentions are noble. You see, these states have invested in very fine software that compares photos on licenses to other photos already taken. No one wants to have their identity assumed by shifty people. So the software is a valuable method of prevention.

A perfect DMV photoshoot rehearsal.

(Credit: CC A National Acrobat/Flickr)

The only problem is that it's not so well versed with smiles. Carnegie Mellon professor of robotics, Takeo Kanade, told USA Today that face-recognition software isn't too good at matching two photos if in one of them the subject is smiling.

According to the story, Arkansas, Indiana, and Nevada do allow the slightest semblance of a grin. Whereas you will be stunned to hear that Virginia only wants to see the expression you show the priest, the bailiff, or the ex-lover whom you see with another.

Not every state enjoys the same software. Some say that they don't care if you show your joy at the DMV. The most endearing of these is the large love-commune known as Pennsylvania.

What a strange thought that people can show more joy in Philadelphia than Vegas.

[cvaldes1831]

Maybe they should just switch to Picasa.

[sharmajunior]

In the words of comedian Russell Peters..."The way to find terrorists... make everyone smile, the ones who don't, question them."

[TogetherinParis]

STAND UP FOR FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION! Hey Virginia, Arkansas, Indiana, Nevada! (VAIN?). Use it or lose it, America. Every American patriot will insist upon smiling for their drivers licenses. I know that no matter what the government says, no matter what the government insists, no matter what the government penalizes me for, let them jail me, let the state send me to prison, BEAT ME! SUPERMAX ME. HECK, Execute me, I don't care. My freedom is more valuable than being able to breathe. I will always smile. And I will gladly, GLADLY, go to the gallows for freedom! FIGHT OPPRESSION, BABY! SAY NO TO THE VAIN MAN. SMILE!

[monkeyfun14]

Well who would be smiling anyways after sitting in the DMV for 3 hours lmao.

[zyxxy]

In the last four or five years, the DMV offices in New Jersey have improved so much that you cannot help but smile. Seriously. The only people not smiling in the New Jersey DMV offices are people younger than 30 that have no memory of what it used to be like. Last time I was there I had to renew my license and pick up a new set of plates. It went so smoothly I wanted to send flowers.

[karpenterskids]

Yeah, apparently...this is no laughing matter. lol

[signal7svr]

"What a strange thought that people can show more joy in Philadelphia than Vegas. "? Don't worry. A trip to the DMV in Las Vegas will erase any chance of a smile....

[assman]

Guess i was doing it right all along.. the DMV is hellish.

[gordianknots]

The solution is quite obvious. Take two pictures. Make them not smile in the first and use it to compare to other non-smiling photos. For the second, let them smile and put it on the driver's license.

[pjfied-2009]

Enforced or not, it shouldn't be done by anyone to begin with as smiling on your photo ID is just plain tacky and a tad unfitting.

[mediocrates--2008]

Golly, I'll bet you're fun at parties. Please tell me what the HELL could possibly be "tacky" or "unfitting" about a pleasant smile on my DL photo? Good grief!

[pjfied-2009]

Dear mediocre oops I meant mediocrates--2008,

So you're one of those... you don't get it and you probably never will.

It is possible to portray a positive look in a picture without having to smile.

It is simply inappropriate... you're not having your yearbook photo taken!!!

I would elaborate but for you, it would be a waste of time.

SMILE !

[Grumpypaul]

I recently sat through a photo shoot for a TWIC card (Transit Workers ID Card) and was told not to smile. The resulting image makes me look like a child molester that just got busted.

[xcal78]

I'm sure a smile would have made all the difference too huh? LOL

[Dalkorian]

LOL ... a smile would have just made you look like a child molester that just got laid.

Sorry, I know that was bad ... ;-)

[tblanx]

this is an interesting concept. at our company, PicsMatch.com, we use face recognition to help find and organize your photos by the people in them and haven't seen this issue yet. to play with facial recognition technology from home check us out! www.picsmatch.com

[Dr_Zinj]

So how good does this facial recognition software work for people in a state of extreme rage?

My crystal monitor shows the impending doom of this policy in the states of Arkansas, Indiana, Nevada and Virginia due to an overwhelming number of lawsuits.

The day the DMV denies someone a license because they are smiling is the day they should take them to court for violation of their Constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness. Furthermore, if the state rules against them in such a case, then the state forfeits the right to dictate the whether a person requires a license to drive.