Through its Laptop Hunter campaign, Microsoft has proved there are so many people in Los Angeles looking for a laptop that I am surprised Apple has not responded with an exclusively LA version of its own ads.
You know, 60 seconds of people just talking about themselves and eating wheatgrass, while Justin Long looks on, mesmerized.
So let us celebrate Redmond's takeover of America's cleanest-living city by meeting another Lauren.
Yes, there is more than one Lauren in LA who needs a laptop and scours Craigslist for acting opportunities. This Lauren is about to be a law student. She therefore wants "speed, portability, and battery life". For under $1,700.
Lawyers, you see, must take their vast, fast, infernal brains with them at all times and expect them to sock it to a jury without a socket.
Lauren's mom, with a stern face that suggests she might favor hanging and flogging, becomes most concerned when Lauren wafts over to those enticingly evil Apple laptops. Lauren gingerly fingers a Mac that costs $2,000, even before you add anything on it.
Mom cross-examines Lauren: "Why would you pay twice the price?" Lauren, who has clearly not been coached for the witness stand, replies: "I wouldn't."
So we lurch towards the happy ending, already sensing that this movie, featuring the blonde, bubbly Lauren's quest for student satisfaction, will be entitled "For Whom the Dell Tolls."
And the toll is so cheap for this Dell XPS 13: $972. That's less than the cost of all the law books she'll have to buy in college.
Thankfully, there is still one left in the store. These things are popular. Who amongst you knew that?
Lauren gets exactly what she (and the highly neutral market research company for whom she thinks she is filming the ad) wants. Mom smiles as she tells us that her little girl usually gets what she wants. I am sure her future college sorority sisters are looking forward to meeting Lauren.
In this case, what Lauren wanted was for the Mac to get six months in solitary (at Best Buy) for price gouging, as she takes the first, important step towards her rightful place on the Supreme Court.
And may I just make it entirely clear that there is nothing funny at all in the fact that Lauren's mom is called Sue.
I did hear a rumor that this may be the last of these beguiling Laptop Hunter ads. I'm not so sure. Now that we are being aggressively informed just how cheap PCs are (and especially now that Apple has been moved to respond), I can see more LA demographics being plundered in order to keep the fun going.
I wonder if we soon might see "Lauren Bacall, Laptop Hunter". I'm not sure she'd be quite so easy to please.