Everyone says Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is a nice man. He's Polish, of course.
However, in an e-mail to his Facebook Support Group, posted at 6 a.m. PST Tuesday, the Woz appears to be getting very, very ratty. And the rodent that he's smelling is the ABC production team of "Dancing with the Stars."
He is suspicious that the true voting numbers, both from telephone and online voting, are never revealed. This leads him to believe that he may be forced into the two-couple dance-off, just to boost ratings.
"The producers play games to get viewers and don't disclose the numbers. If they disclosed the numbers, it would be less of a game, but still suspect. If tomorrow, they claim I'm in the bottom 2 dance teams, including viewer votes, I believe that it's an outright lie," he said.
He has begun to make his accusations in ABC interviews too.
"I called it fake about 20 times today on camera," he said. "Each time in the same sentence as whatever comment they wanted about doing a dance-off tomorrow. That way, they couldn't edit it easily to say what they wanted. They kept trying to get me to say what I'd do if I was in the dance-off without using the word fake."
He even accuses producers of getting him to say things that are simply untrue: "They will have some small video tomorrow of me saying things that I strongly told them I don't believe. They will also shoot me in a one-hour rehearsal tomorrow with my partner, but I'll keep calling the idea of my being in the bottom 2, after audience participation, a lie."
Although he is not clear about all the sources of his suspicions, his accusations are extremely open: "I'm sure they want me in this dance-off to get higher Tuesday ratings, and they have preplanned it so that I win. If my leg acts up tomorrow, they will either have to announce another pair as being the lowest or send me home, and I don't think they will give me up."
Well, at least he thinks he's going to win, even though his performance Monday night still didn't reach the standards he might wish for himself.
Seemingly straining to be nice, he admitted that he is straining to be nice: "It's hard to get all this out politely, challenging the truthfulness of reporting of our dance team positions. But I am who I am, and I speak my mind and hate these unethical twists. I'm not after any Hollywood existence."
He continued: "I have vowed to all my friends that I will not change in that way; I won't go over the line. I'm here to help others appreciate dancing. But that doesn't mean I have to compromise my ethics very much."
It is heartening to see the word "ethics" being used in association with reality television. Especially on the day when a supposed "American Idol" insider declared that the top-four retinue (there are still 11 hopefuls left in the competition) has already been decided.
You just can't miss "Dancing with the Stars" tonight, can you? 9 p.m. PST and EST. And 8 p.m. in the the Central Ethical Zone. What will the Woz say and do next?