March 10, 2009 4:30 PM PDT

Go boldly and smell like James T. Kirk

by Chris Matyszczyk
  • Font size
  • Print
  • 1 comment

I was unaware that there is a company that specializes in licensed science fiction jewelry and perfumes.

Until I discovered the Planet Genki.

Genki Wear, a company with copious imagination, would like you to know that, in complete coincidence with an impending new Star Trek movie, it is launching three bold new fragrances especially for the more mature Trekkie.

First there's Tiberius, which has a very fetching image of a younger Priceline spokesperson on its packaging. Now I hope no one will be writing in to ask why this, of all perfumes, is called Tiberius.

So let's move straight along to the hard sell. Tiberius cologne is, apparently, "difficult to define and impossible to refuse." It smells nothing like any cast member of "Boston Legal." But it will have the desired effect on anyone with universal tendencies.

I wonder if there will also be a New Starship smell.

(Credit: CC Alex Kerhead)

Then we have Red Shirt. Now Red Shirt is clearly for those Trekkies who live for the moment. Its tagline is "Because Tomorrow May Never Come." And as you wander into your night club, or comic book convention, you can feel confident that women are looking at you because your smell honors the sacrifices of the nameless crew of the USS Enterprise.

But perhaps the boldest of the range is Pon Farr. Many of you will remember Pon Farr. This is the mating ritual favored by Spock and other Vulcans in an episode called "Amok Time."

Now the thing about Pon Farr is that the Vulcan men only went into heat every seven years. So I am not sure how long a bottle of this stuff might last. My best guess is that Pon Farr is targeted at the ladies, as it appears to promise to "drive him wild", and specifically at the ladies who prefer to have sex only once every seven years.

Genki believes that these fragrances can challenge the best that the likes of Cartier and Chanel can toss at the universe. Oddly, however, there appears to be a small movement that objects to these smells.

However, with enterprise such as Genki's, I am hoping that these products will be a massive success.

Because then we might look forward to colognes redolent of "Grey's Anatomy","Prison Break" and, who knows, "Top Chef".

Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.
Recent posts from Technically Incorrect
Microsoft, Yahoo help keep India away from porn?
GPS gets couple stuck for three days
Escaped convict continues to update Facebook
Google makes its home page a Chrome page
Police to put drunk drivers' names on Twitter
Apple's iSlate: What we know for sure
How iPhone apps can ruin your Christmas
Twitter: Home for your holiday hangover cure?
Add a Comment (Log in or register)
by pentest March 12, 2009 2:39 PM PDT
eeew, Essence of Shatner.
Reply to this comment
advertisement

15 sites that went kaput in 2009

Web sites launch all the time, but they also shut their doors. We highlight 15 that bit the dust this year.

Top 10 news stories of the decade

Let the debate begin: Was the iPhone more important than iTunes? Was anything bigger than Google finding a great business model? CNET offers its list of the 10 most important stories of the '00s.

About Technically Incorrect

Chris Matyszczyk brings a fresh and irreverent perspective to the tech world in his CNET blog, Technically Incorrect. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET.

Add this feed to your online news reader

Technically Incorrect topics

advertisement
advertisement

Inside CNET News

Scroll Left Scroll Right