iLike? No, I don't
The other day, I got an email from my former assistant, the effervescent Brandy Barber.
Brandy is a rising New York comedienne who has a serious distaste for any woman who talks like Woody Woodpecker. Well, actually, for one woman in particular.
Her email was simple, but not very informative. She wanted to share her iLike playlist with me. (That was it. No 'how are you?' No 'I miss you.') Until now, I have not had an intimate involvement with iLike. If I want to know what other people like I tend to ask them.
Sad, I know.
However, because it was Brandy and because she is bigger than me, I clicked on the iLike link she embedded in her email and was immediately blasted to the Facebook app. What did I expect to see? Oh, a list of ELO tracks, frankly. Brandy doesn't just love ELO. She wears ELO t-shirts to work.
What did I actually see? Well, a wealth of stuff I didn't ask for. Hey, Ludacris has added four songs. And they're full-length. Gosh. Julianne Hough, she of Dancing With The Stars, has posted a video. Sorry, Julianne. You are no Lacey Schwimmer. (Oh, Google her.)
And then there was the obligatory Facebookian enthusiasm, asking me whether I wanted to personalize the page.
Well, if I had personalized it, I would have wiped all of this superfluous tosh and twaddle from the page. Especially the display ad wondering if I might be interested in buying Faith Hill's wonderful new Christmas album. Oh, sure. Because I have all of Faith Hill's albums, right?
Brandy is one of the people in this picture, taken at the Drink at Work Show in 2006.
(Credit: CC Maryanne Ventrice)Now then, what was the one thing I found hard to locate on a page with more unwanted information than I got from a rather hairy individual in a cafe in Seville last week? Yes, Brandy Barber's playlist. When I finally found it, I saw that it comprised perhaps 5% of the whole page.
This was like walking into a Barneys changing room to try on a shirt and being told that you have to try seventeen pairs of pants, four pairs of boxers, three coats and a pair of tights, all chosen by members of Barneys security staff, before you could slip on the shirt.
The iLike page was very keen to know if I liked Korn and Staind. Oh, and Limp Bizkit too. Mind your own bloody business. I came here to find out what Brandy is listening to. Now get your grubby, grasping hands off my shirt sleeve.
As far as I could tell, Brandy likes 14 songs by Modest Mouse. Whom I saw live earlier this year and found as fascinating as an enema inserted by a nurse with Tourette's. Perhaps she has other things on her playlist. But in the midst of this shopping mall of gall, I beat a hasty retreat.
Brandy, you're a fine girl. What a good wife you would be. (This is a musical reference, not a sexist statement. Or rather a musical reference to a shiveringly sexist lyric.)
But iLike? I no like.
Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network and is not an employee of CNET. 
What a waste of time, that FB is, I signed up once a long time ago on the advice of a friend. It took me three days to dump that trash off my list.
Like don't people have enough things to do in life.
You may disagree with the point, but at least say that.
And now it's stuck in my head, you bastard... :/
/P
But every since I wrote it down, I have been suffering just like you. Even in the middle of the night when I got up to pee.
AND THE SAILORS SAY BRANDEEE, YOU'RE FINE GIRL, WHAT A GOOD WIFE YOU WOULD BE ....
Aaggh.
Have a great Thanksgiving.
Chris
/P
(who is currently holding the fort down since the rest of the IT dep't decided to go on holiday, business travel, and suchlike. This means I get to cure my mental musical daemon by hitting some streaming radio...).
I need to stop listening to my old AM Gold cassettes...
It is not strange. You are not strange. These things merely have a strange way of penetrating our crania and sticking there.
Like lice. Or news about Amy Winehouse.
It doesn't matter how old you are, this stuff will get you.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Chris
I like Modest Mouse recorded. I just thought they were really lame live. They were totally outperformed by the National that night.
Such is life...
Have a great Thanksgiving.
Chris
Further, thank you for not fulling engaging in fanboy speak while writing this article, making the rest of us (the vast majority) not read it at all.
http://www.spudmobile.co.uk/nintendo-wii-sword.aspx
- by snackslapper December 3, 2008 7:23 AM PST
- you should try slacker.com for music. you can create your own station with bands you like, send the station to someone and there you go. it has to be the best legal way to send a mixed tape like music selection of bands you like to people. the free service is great. the paid service is better ( i presume) but who wants to pay. tell brandy to make a station and send it to you. it will stop you from writing a story like this. if you have never tried slacker you should. with the upcoming blackberry application this is the way to listen to music, unless you like spending time organizing all that music you downloaded.
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