The worst-sounding speaker ever
Plug 'em into an iPod or your computer
(Credit: Steve Guttenberg)A couple of days ago I blogged about possibly (hopefully) the world's most expensive speaker, Transmission Audio's Ultimate ($1,000,000 each), so I guess it makes sense to write up a dirt cheap speaker, Kikkerland's Woodchuck iPod/computer speakers.
Thing is, Kikkerland's Web site doesn't list the Woodchuck, but I see it's on Amazon going for $13.99 a pair. So I guess I can't complain too much, but the sound is so weak, bassless, trebleless, and dynamically compressed the Woodchuck is without doubt the lamest sounding speaker I've ever heard. Kinda sounds like the speaker in my Panasonic answering machine.
Granted, the Woodchuck's thin, "wood-grain" cardboard cabinets are kinda cute, but they do require some "assembly," that is, you have to fold them into their pyramid shape. There's a skinny cable, terminated with a 3.5-millimeter plug, sticking out of each speaker's backside.
So maybe it's just not possible to make decent sound for $13.99; the lowest price speaker I've heard that I could listen to on a regular basis is the Audioengine2. I in fact, do listen to the AE2s ($199/pair) just about every day, they're my computer speakers.
What's the worst-sounding speaker you ever heard?
Steve Guttenberg is a frequent contributor to magazines and Web sites including Home Entertainment, Playback, and Ultimate AV. He is a member of the CNET Blog Network, and is not an employee of CNET. Disclosure. 
I built a pair of speakers speaker in my 6th grade woodshop class that look better than these and that was thirty years ago.
However, terrible sound from a system that costs as much as a Mercedes S-class, from two of the most hyped companies in all of high-end audio isn't so excusable.
I can tell you without doubt that the worst speakers I have ever owned were Bose 301s. I was in college, and I saved part of my pay from a part time job for months to afford those atrocities. No low end whatsoever. Bloated, boomy mid-bass. Recessed mids. Minimal detail in the highs. I don't really know how it is possible for one speaker to combine all of those weaknesses, but the marketing geniuses at Bose pulled it off. And I paid a ridiculous amount of money for them. They would have been too expensive if they were free.
"If there ain't no highs, and there ain't no lows, you are definitely listening to Bose."
Here comes the jesus phone.
jPhone
HAHAHAHA +1 internets for you sir!
The bass module is loud but bass is not well defined (boomy) and could be easily located just by listening. The satellites are harsh sounding and has limited high end extension. Actually, even Bose's own Wave radio sounds better than that. I guess Acoustimass needs a revision of its design. A larger satellite would help alot.
The actual elements were no larger than the pictured iPod's click wheel, housed in plastic, thus considerably smaller than the Woodchuck's elements.
Oh yeah, these are just garbage in general. Bose is garbage disguised as a good brand.
Oh, you said worst *Sounding*...
No, seriously -- you know you're getting a pair of crappy speakers if you have to "fold" the *cardboard* enclosures into a pyramid shape??? Hy-larious!
When I recently upgraded to an HDTV, I moved my old Klipsch 4.1 speakers off my PC to connect to the TV, (using adapters). Of course they're still pretty solid for their price range of the day ~$400. My PC is nine years old and I basically just use it for browsing these days -- but still need sound for podcasts and occasional light music streaming. I replaced the Klipsch set with a $20, three piece set from Micro Innovations. The so-called *woofer* is just a light weight, 4" wooden box. (At least it isn't plastic or CARDBOARD.) Initially, the sound was absolutely atrocious. But by tweaking the equalizer (mostly by reducing the mid-ranges), the sound is now at least tolerable. John C. Dvorak no longer sounds like he's being smothered by wax paper!
Actually, it's surprisingly half-way decent except for the complete breakdown of the low bass frequencies during Artillery Strikes in "Mud & Blood 2". For $20, I got more than I was expecting.
I cannot even believe they bothered. I am just glade some companies are still concerned about audio quality. Even though many younger people don't know what good quality is in audio. One engineer said once that digital would hurt audio because its too easy too manipulate and compress. I tend to agree with that.
- by nob1949 August 10, 2009 5:51 PM PDT
- I bought the original Altec Lansing Orbit speaker for $12 at Wal-Mart a couple of months ago. it's not stereo, but it's surprisingly loud and clear. It's much better in my car than relying on static-filled FM transmitters. One of the best low-tech bargains ever.
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