iPhone DOOOMED!

This came to the Macalope inbox (which, oddly, is also brown and furry) just before Macworld Expo and he didn't have time to get to it then but it's still so funny it's worth noting (tip o' the antlers to Aymerik Renard).

Did you know that the iPhone is doomed to failure? Well, it's true.

The reason? Well, it seems that just as rock crushes scissors, Microsoft's plans for Windows Mobile 7 (due in 2009... or sometime thereafter... you know, when they get to it) totally beat the crap out of the 2007 iPhone! Don't believe the Macalope? Well, it's right there in black and white, mister. Would "the independent voice of Microsoft customers" lie to you?

It's amazing how future Microsoft products beat current Apple products time and time again, isn't it? You'd think Apple would have just given up by now.

[STrRedWolf]

Oh great. Now I'm speculating it has wolf ears and the rear tail connects to the back door of the mailbox...

[V.M.R.]

I'm still reading through it, but I already know what my favorite bit is:
"The iPod mp3 player is an industry Apple essentially created, the iPhone isn't."

[spyroland]

"You might assume from this blog post that I'm very anti-Apple."
No kidding ?

[rcrusoe]

How the mighty have fallen. Networkworld has gone from respected a publication in the 90's to an Internet troll. Sad.

Windows mobile may evolve into a decent phone OS. But if Vista has taught us anything, it's wait for the finished product.

Microsoft has perfected the policy of over promising and under delivering.

[sabeke]

OMG, I don't know how many years removed this knucklehead is from his days of being stuffed in trash cans but reading this crap makes me want to stuff him in one again.

Macalope, how do you remain sane, dealing with this tripe?

[Yodarick]

Microsoft (like soft in the head) takes the lead again!

"Gestures shown include in music or a slideshow, shaking the phone left or right to go to the previous or next song or photo, and shaking the phone in order to shuffle it."

and if shaking doesn't work you can stomp on it with you hoof.

2009 you say....................oooooooh how exciting!!!!!!!

[pluto198]

Does it squirt when you shake it?

[rjackal]

So.. Mitchell Ashley is joking, right? Please tell me he's joking.

" WM7 is all about effective uses of the touch screen, finger gestures, and additional motion gestures."

I can think of one finger gesture people will end up using...
If you shuffle it repeatedly up and down, does it squirt?

But seriously; the day Microsoft invents an intuitive, Apple-killing interface is the day the universe collapses into a tiny dark singularity.

[ripragged]

Dearest 'Lope,

I propose that in the future, any linking to the public marketing-style-pure-FUD comments of MS employees be officially categorized as cheap shots. Funny, but cheap nevertheless.

Also, given that Windows 7 will only run on HAL computers, it probably isn't worth much more than the entertainment value. Therefore, cheap shots are entirely justified.

Thank you. Can I please have another sardine?

[iamdogfriend]

When Window Mobile 7 actually comes out in 2015, we should go back to this article and see how many of the "features" actually make it into a working phone.

[doublejack]

Wait a minute -- he's a "CEO and Chief Strategist"?

Oh, his poor clients! ... I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing long enough to say anything else... carry on...

[TheNerdDilettante]

I like that the article has the standard disclaimer: You might think I hate Apple, but actually I one used an Apple II, see how that shows that I am enlightened and have thought long and hard about my decision to bash this once great company using baseless "facts"?

I also like that the first commenter raises a valid point: if the camera is the only means of detecting movement and you move the phone in front of a surface with little to no visible variation, how does the phone know its moving? And then someone replies with some inane "hahaha youran idiot hahha i am superior to you" comment.

Ugh, I shouldn't let myself be baited by people like that.

[jayayarr]

Fortunately, nobody believes Microsoft's projected release dates, least of all Microsoft. This "leak" means that the engineers will be told about WM7 in 2009. Actual delivery of the product may take slightly longer.

As I look forward to the MERDE (Microsoft Eventual Release Date Event) from Redmond, I expect we will all have our phones surgically implanted by then. Rolling eyes, nodding heads, and chattering teeth will only be WM7 users trying to control their phone's interface. Paramedics will receive specialized training to determine whether a convulsing person is suffering an epileptic seizure or just trying to page through their email.

Whose software do you want wired between your ears?

[john55440]

iPhone isn't doomed, it's just passe. (grin)

[jaridon--2008]

maybe mitchell was tired; look at the posting time, ~3am.

"Submitted by Mitchell Ashley on Fri, 01/11/2008 - 2:59am"

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