Memo to Santa: Ask parents before gifting tech toys

Cute, but ask parents before gifting.

Tech toys are all the rage this holiday gift-giving season, and I have a request for all the cool, creative, and wired aunts, uncles, and friends who are choosing presents for the kids in their lives. Please consult with parents before you buy a child a high-tech gift, especially any toy or gadget that has an online connection.

Just as you wouldn't spring a puppy on a family as a surprise, you should check in with parents before you give a tech toy. I can testify on behalf of frazzled parents, even those of us with a techie bent ourselves, that we are dancing as fast as we can to keep up with the implications of computers, gadgets, and online communication for our kids.

To give one example, in our hometown there is intense peer pressure among tweens to get a Webkinz. I have talked to many parents whose kids first went online after receiving a Webkinz as a gift, including some parents who didn't even realize that the stuffed animals had a social-networking component. Some families who have taken the online plunge are not happy with their experience. While some parents are embracing Webkinz and Club Penguin as sites they perceive as safe, others are dismayed that their children are getting into surfing at such a young age and being socialized as online consumers. (Disney is investing more in Club Penguin than News Corp. paid for MySpace: you can bet they're busy figuring how to make money from their potential $700 million deal).

There are so many gadgets that are being designed to appeal directly to kids, including Web cams, digital cameras, MP3 players, and cell phones. These can be great additions to a family's life when parents are ready to embrace and supervise them. But it is doing everybody a real favor to ask first.

[Karin1467]

Thank you SO much for your article! I hope A LOT of people read it! We were given Webkinz as gifts for my 5 and 7 year old. We said thank you and then after doing my own research(which research to me was talking with people who were already allowing this for their kids, people who weren't, and getting some educators views) I decided there was NO WAY I wanted to start this with my children. I was really worried about explaining to them "why" but actually, they were fine with it and they seemed to agree. I guess that's the difference b/t 5 and 7 year olds vrs. teenagers! What a relief. Now they just blurt out to people when asked about webkinz that "their mommy and daddy don't want them doing that" and they seem proud. I told them that I'd rather have them talking face to face with friends and that I felt that "webkinz" was encouraging kids to want to spend money and be on line more so that their animal would have more things or not get sick even. (really that's what i've been told - if you aren't on enough your animal is either sick or sad. Too yuck for me!) And I'm so glad I've stuck with my decision. I have heard in our school district that children as young as 1st grade are excluding others on the playground if they don't have a webkinz. Then supposedly they can't be in "the club." And I read somewhere that there is a school that is banning them. Prob. for similiar reasons. So yes, please, please talk with parents BEFORE giving kids something like that. It's hard enough raising children in todays world. We'd rather have a choice in how we do it!