Steve Ballmer: We don't need to be cool! (Or maybe we do)

In a clear sign that Steve Ballmer has lost touch with reality, at a recent partner event Q&A the Microsoft CEO addressed the issue of "coolness" and how Microsoft competes in coolness.

On one hand, Ballmer recognizes that Microsoft is not cool and that the enterprise buyer wants safety, not necessarily coolness. But on the other hand his comments reveal an earnest desire to be cool...yet he clearly doesn't recognize what will get his company there.

The way we [will] be newsworthy, if we're successful, in and out, every day, all the time for the next 10, 20, 30 years, we're not going to make it on, hey they're brand new, we've never seen them before. We're going to have to surprise people. And I think we will. I think we'll surprise people with the quality of new PCs people see, where we've worked really hard with Vista, and people say, wow, these things are actually lighter, they actually have better battery life, they're cheaper, they're more affordable, they're more flexible, they come in more sizes, wow, that's cool.

I think you'll find people, as we get to our next generation of Windows Mobile devices, people will stop and say, not everybody gets by well without a keyboard. I don't know about the rest of you, I actually find it easier to have one when I'm typing a piece of e-mail. So what we need to do is have products that surprise people, that delight people, and particularly on the consumer side....[W]e haven't surprised people quite as much as we need to, to surf the cool wave. But, man, you take a look at where Vista is going, you take a look at Windows Mobile, and watch us watch this space for news on search.

No, Mr. Ballmer, Vista really doesn't inspire "Wow!" at least not in a positive sense. Nor is it lighter/etc. What Ballmer is actually describing is the Linux experience in ultra-portables, but that's another matter....

Microsoft's stunted mobile experience is not cool or innovative. Microsoft's consumer experience is particularly abysmal, contrary to the claim made above: Just ask the Live team, which continues to struggle to find any consumers that actually want to use Microsoft's web properties.

This is precisely why Apple is getting rave reviews and market share. It's innovative. It's cool. It's breaking new ground rather than trying to monopolize the old ground.

It's not about cool so much as about building things that people actually want to use. Microsoft may continue to do well in the enterprise where people are forced to use its products, but even that is starting to change with consumers demanding their Macs inside the firewall.

This isn't going unnoticed. Developers are following the cool crowd, with 92 percent taking a pass this year on Microsoft's not-so-cool Vista. Microsoft may well find that by shuffling down its road of "tried-and-true" may well translate into "tried-that-but-want-something-new."

[scottjoy]

How about, "Wow, that's something I couldn't do before!" or "Wow, that's so easy!" That's what's cool.

[tfosorcim]

What's definitely not cool is a fifty-something, fat, bald technological-know-nothing using words like 'cool', 'man', hey' in order to show us how "cool" he is. I was extremely disappointed at the lack of "...like. you know "s in his ramblings. But then again, you didn't print the entire diatribe. Thank you.

[slyspring]

I don't know if it's relevant, but once i can get my World of Warcrack and Ventrilo working simultaneously and seamlessly on my Kubuntu box (and if you know a better distro, do tell!), then i'm dumping Vista. Everything that is innovative is coming out for other platforms, and i'm sick of it.

[mlhader]

Ahem, <br /><br />It seems to me that Apple is almost irrelevant to the real world in terms of being any sort of threat to Microsoft. Yes, it may have the desktops of the the "arts and crafts" crowd which make-up less than 1% of the entire comuting universe. Yes Apple has a cool phone, but who is actually doing anything useful computing-wise on their phone except e-mail and GPS?<br /><br />Microsoft's R &#38; D budget is more than Apple's revenues, so let's be real. Apple survives because Microsoft does not want to take them out. Microsoft makes lot's of money from Apple in both software and IP.<br /><br />And what about back-end infrastructure? What is Apple's market share in servers? Practically nil. Not even a blip. Linux in all of its variations has more clout han Apple. I'd put in Linux before I'd put in Apple. The main reason the hackers don't go after Tiger as much as Windows is because they know that Tiger isn't protecting very much valuable data, it not that it is inherently that much more bullet proof. You will see the percentage of incidents against Windows seriously decline as Vista and Server 2008 get deployed. All of the corporate environments I know of are planning upgrades to Server 2008 because of its superior performance and hardening.<br /><br />My user don't care if it's cool. They care only that it works.

[The_Decider]

1%? Try living in reality. OSX is the only OS that is growing faster than the desktop market is overall. Guess what that means for MS? <br /><br />How can Apple be irrelevant when Vista is nothing more than a copy(an extremely poor one) of OSX? How can the follower be irrelevant and a clueless follower relevant?<br /><br />Vista doesn't work, so you are failing your "user". Pretty sad you only have one customer.

[mlhader]

To tfosorcim: You are a simpleton. Ballmer may not be a "techie", but living in the environment he has lived in for the past 25 years, has has probably forgotten more technology than you will ever know.

[The_Decider]

Ballmer doesn't know anything about tech matters. He is a businessman, nothing more and a poor one at that.

[TimBowden]

Microsoft has so much hot ash from burned goodwill that being cool is one heck of a challenge.

[JetRanger47]

The honchos at microsoft and I are about the same age.<br />There was nothing 'wow' or 'cool' about them, their company or their software 25 years ago and there certainly isn't now. Microsoft has a long, well documented history of stifling innovation and competition to reduce R&#38;D costs.<br /><br />In my opinion, IT support people push microsoft products in the marketplace to guarantee themselves employment. Consumers on the other hand want software which is easy to use, funtional and reliable without having to rely on (and pay for) support on a regular basis. <br /><br />Apple doesn't even figure in this discussion (although I just mentioned them ... drat!) as microsoft is its own worst enemy as evidenced by their lack of desire or ability to provide functional software (which would certainly elicit 'cool' and 'wow' from me).

[tfosorcim]

To mlhader, comment of 10 July, 0842:<br /><br />Ballmer? Did I say anything about Balmer? <br /><br />One entertaining aspect of writing comments is that it always brings out the Freudian aspects of a certain group of people. I really don't care which of your oxes got gored, but maybe you need to get it patched up.<br />By the way, I consider your personal attack ("simpleton") as high praise (you spelled it correctly), particularly when coming from someone who doesn't know that every word which ends in an "s" does NOT require an apostrophe before the "s", to wit: "...makes lot's of money..." [http://your post of 10 July, 0839; you know, the one starting out with the pontificating "Ahem".|http://your post of 10 July, 0839; you know, the one starting out with the pontificating "Ahem".] By the way, you missed a lot of opportunities to insert apostrophes. Just thought you'd like to know that, so you can be consistently wrong next time.<br />I don't mind the personal attacks from someone who obviously has nothing to do, but from someone who has the "apostrophe-s" problem, and who can not write and keep the tenses and persons of their grammatical constructions correct (again: the 'Ahem' memo:<br />"...My USER DON'T care if it's cool. THEY care only that it works." ), I feel that this attack has little merit. Next time, I would appreciate personal attacks from a quarter of much higher caliber.

[mlhader]

I am surely relieved that you care more about a couple of accidental typos and that you actually care less about the content of what was said. Perhaps you value style over substance? <br /><br />True, you did not name Ballmer, but reference to "a fifty-something, fat, bald technological-know-nothing" certainly implies that you were taking a free shot at Microsoft's CEO. If not, you were certainly generalizing about some group of males that you find annoying. Of that point, I can agree though it is a cheap shot. (By the way, Ballmer actually talks like that. With his millions, I'm sure he could care less what any of us think about his speech, appearance or supposed, lack of technical prowess).

[MSSlayer]

Wow, so he is rich that must mean he is smart or something. <br /><br />At least we know that you drink from the cesspool of greed.<br /><br />Ballmer is an idiot with no tech or business skills. Just a blowhard working as hard as he can to throttle MS and keep everyone in IT down.