Degrees of friendship: Facebook, email, texting, IM, phone...

A friend of mine related something very interesting to me the other day. We were discussing the relative value of social networking (Facebook, specifically) over email or "more traditional" ways to connect, given Slashdot's post that "email is for old people."

That struck me as wrong since the 12-18-year olds that I know (and I actually know quite a few since I'm involved in several neighborhood youth groups) may not spend most of their communication in email, but they certainly don't spend it in Facebook or MySpace, either. They take a blended approach, just as I do, and communicate with friends according to how close they are:

They tiered their friends: those that they would call, those they would text, those they would email, and everyone else they'd just keep in contact with via Facebook.

Close friends get close communication: phone and texting. Teachers, adults, and some friends get email. Friends out in the "bazaar" get the MySpace/Facebook treatment. No particular tool trumps the other - they're complementary.

As for me, I know that in a given day I'll IM, text, call, email, and even ping on Facebook the same person. It just depends on how immediate I need a response and whether I'm seeking an "intimate" conversation or simply broadcasting.

The opportunity for Facebook and MySpace is to find ways to interweave phone/text/email conversations into the broader Facebook/MySpace conversations, to help boil down the noise to simple, direct, and productive conversations.

[JoshGaz]

True observations

I do agree with your article 100%. Adults and kids alike have their preferred way of communicating with great friends or people they say hi to every so often. A lot of kids I have worked with say that they feel a certain level of peer pressure to have a profile up on one of the sites, My Space or Facebook. (I would have to warn that their are complete scam and spam sites like perfspot, which you want to stay away from at all costs) Everyone does use the internet to communicate in some fashion, but until cell phones decide to not offer texting, it will remain a text world

[aztec92154]

Simple face to face conversations R another degree

I love this article! I completely agree with you, but dont you agree that after "phone" is face to face communication? If someone is sick, you can use Facebook, email, texting, IM, phone, but ultimately the most intimate of all is a simple face to face conversation.

Thanks for writing a great article!

[innocuous]

From their perspective

I have to say, as a teenager, I agree.

It's more a question of how you WON'T communicate with your friends. Some people just aren't close enough for phone, but you don't mind IM conversations. Others you will add on facebook just to avoid the awkward situation of seeing someone you rejected in the school hallways.

But that doesn't make our friendships any less personal. There are still long conversations until 2 am, it's just that we have more mediums in which to do that, and can more easily keep up a larger amount of long distance friendships.