Novell layoffs rumored to be in the works

Word on the street is that Novell will be laying off 50-60% of its Workgroup division this month, likely toward the middle. This is not surprising given that division's lackluster results, but the rumor mill suggests that Workgroup isn't the only business unit that will be affected.

I'm no fan of Novell, but I hate layoffs. I'm sincerely sorry to see this happening. The good news, however, is that there are much better companies to work for out there. Like all of them. :-)

Just ask Greg Collier. He left Novell a year or two ago to join Mozy/Berkley Data Systems, which was bought by EMC recently. Or Chris Stone, now CEO of Streamserve. Or John Vigeant who left Novell and joined XenSource (you know what happened next). Or Charlie Martin who is now sitting at MuleSource. Chris Cooper (my old boss) left to be a VC with UV Partners. Bill Mason went to Red Hat and is now at Zmanda. Etc.

Life won't end for these people. It will actually begin. I'm happy to introduce you to good open-source startups. There are plenty, and they need good people. Novell shedding bodies won't turn the company around. Shedding its legacy just might.

[bob-o-rama]

Rumor Update: Novell to harvest employee's organs

A little known clause in their employment agreement allows Novell to harvest the organs of its employees as part of a layoff. During the exit interview, the employee is gassed, cut open, and one of their kidneys and lungs is removed, well most often just one. The next day they wake up in an ice water filled bathtub in the Fairfield holding their pink slip.

The fair market value of these organs is anywhere from $25K for obese smokers, to $60K for young, non-smokers with desirable genetics. Insiders at Novell reported they expect to gain $7M from the sale of the organs alone.

Sources from the Fairfield indicate that "We rent out about 5 rooms a day for Novell's their organ harvesting program. But in mid October we expect that to grow to 10 - 20 rooms a day for the next couple weeks. We even added a new ice machine on the 2nd floor."

[xenomentat]

Oh haha, that's so funny

Rumor has it that people who make stupid comments on blogs (particularly those who show they _used_ to be Novell people by their intimate knowledge of the Provo Fairfield) are to be harvested by aliens for their brains, but then you won't be in any danger in that situation, hmm?

[bob-o-rama]

Let them eat cake, open source cake

Xeno.. Get grip, its just a fricken blog... or IS it? Its not like Dan Rather or Mark Twain will ever post here. Really, Twains dead, and Rather speaks into his mouse.

Its important to set the record straight: Asay's the one who _used_ to be a Novell employee - explaining his near giddy posting of the dire gossip. I've never worked for Novell, "but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night." But its not like I'm some disinterested VAR or something who gets to watch from the sidelines.

Anyway, the point is, the rumored layoff is corporate catabolism. As far as all the people ( rumored to be )leaving Novell going to work at OSS startups. Well, that's a bit of wishful thinking. There is a reason that people cling to a corpse. Perhaps is comfort, perhaps wanting to stay near family and friends, lack of skills, fear of change, nostalgia, or perhaps its just necessity.

But Asay proves that working for Novell, apparently, is like smoking: the people who hate it the most are those who quit recently. And oddly, his comment is much akin to "let them eat cake, open source cake, baked by the community of cake bakers..." sort of drivel.

IMHO, what Novell is in severe need of is going private - because then they can focus on the bottom line, and making customers happy, and the relationship between those two things rather than on "share holder value" whatever that is.

[reddsman]

Must not be getting enough play at Groklaw

Matt,

I thought you were going to give Novell a shot, obviously not. You just can't get away from the Microsoft deal and it clouds your judgement. You have such a bias against Novell that no matter what they do, it isn't good enough. I'm truly sorry you weren't fired when you wanted to leave Novell and that they made you work.

You must need some good play on the Groklaw newspicks so everyone will think Novell is going under and all the Open Source zealots will come out of the woodwork to praise you and your insightfulness.

[thedayafter5]

Its a Sinking Ship!

Keith,

Novell is a sinking ship.
who's CEO's will burn in hell