McNealy innovates in trade-show theatrics

Scott McNealy for years has relied on Top 10 lists for comic relief during his tech show keynote speeches, but at the Oracle OpenWorld conference in San Francisco Wednesday, he tried a new stunt: consulting a Magic 8 Ball.

"I don't do Top 10 lists anymore, but I thought I'd bring my management staff out here," he quipped as he pulled out the prognostication toy that also was featured in Sun's latest episode of the Inside Jack animation.

While the Magic 8 Ball format was different from the Top 10, the competitor-bashing stayed the same. For the record, here were McNealy's questions and the 8 Ball's answers.

Q: Will Oracle eventually get PeopleSoft?
A: Without a doubt.

Q: Will the HP printer company ever come around and spin off its struggling computer business?
A: Most likely.

Q: Should Sun drop the word "microsystems" out of its name like Dell took out "computer"?
A: Concentrate and ask again.

Q: Will IBM be the only enterprise software company that continues to refuse to support Solaris x86?
A: Outlook good.

Q: Will Larry Ellison invite me back if I don't say the word "grid" every seventh word in my speech?
A: Yes.

Q: Will Intel finally shoot that thing called Itanium next year?
A: Don't count on it. ("That's good. They could be spending the money on something useful," McNealy added.)

Q: Will China buy the rest of IBM?
A: Most likely.

Q: Will Red Hat indemnify you in intellectual-property issues?
A: Rely on it.

Q: Will Oracle move from per-core to per-socket pricing like Microsoft and Sun have done?
A: It is certain. "Yes!" McNealy exclaimed at this response.