Please prepare your tissues and handkerchiefs. For this is a tale of a woman's woe.
It is the tale of a woman in love, a woman who adored her man. One day, this woman decided to go to Russia's equivalent of Google Maps. It's called Yandex. She wanted to look for an address in her home town of Perm.
As NBC's Today Show reveals, Marina Voinova found herself going to the Street View mode and looking curiously at a couple in front of a building.
They seemed to be in canoodling mode. And one of them seemed to be her fiance. Yes, the man Voinova had been with for five years.
How could this be?
Russian site Life News listened to her story with a no-doubt pained expression, one that we Slavs do very well.
"First I thought, 'how can someone else look so similar to my Sasha?" she told Russian Life.
Second, she thought: "That no-good, two-timing, conniving, useless lump of lard-fed supposed manhood!" Actually, that would be my paraphrase.
Voinova continued to Russian Life: "I looked more carefully, zoomed in and saw that it was indeed him. I realized that he was lying and cheating on me all this time."
This was clearly an emotional extrapolation. The Yandex evidence suggested merely that he may have strayed once. Just once.
And now that I mention it, he might just have been comforting the poor girl, after she'd heard that her boyfriend was two-timing her.
As it turned out, he reportedly admitted that he was a no-good two-timer. Indeed, he added that he was unfaithful out of sheer "silliness."
No, of course he didn't love the other woman. She meant nothing. Well, something maybe. It did him no good. Voinova said she could no longer be with this heinous man.
This whole disastrous denouement occurred because Russia is a free society. It doesn't blur people's faces on Yandex Street View.
More Technically Incorrect
Still, you might imagine that Sasha would have tried to have his infidelity removed. Well, all I can tell you is that the picture is still here on the Yandex site.
I am grateful to the unironically named Red Hot Russia for translating the video in which Voinova bares her pain.
It describes in considerable detail how she made her Sasha load the address on her computer when he got home.
I have to assume that this story is genuine.
For who would even attempt to say in parody: "At first I regretted searching for that address on the Internet, but I eventually realized that it was silly to blame the Web for my boyfriend's unfaithfulness."?
Indeed, having first vowed never to look at Web maps again, she has now found a hopeful use for the Internet.
Yes, she's online dating.