This story has no light.
40-year-old, 310-pound Lowell Turpin allegedly doesn't know how to treat women, nor what Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney looks like.
The New York Daily News reports that the man from Clinton, Tenn., allegedly saw a picture of a rival on his girlfriend's Facebook page and was consumed by jealous anger.
The Anderson County Sheriff's Department's incident report states that the man in the picture was Mitt Romney.
Turpin's alleged ignorance led him to allegedly grab his girlfriend's laptop, smash it against a wall and then physically assault her with his fist.
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The Daily Mail reports that his girlfriend, Crystal Gray, 38, claims that when she had previously lived in South Carolina, she had tried to get a protection order against Turpin. She had reportedly failed to show at the hearing.
When this assault began, her brother, Timothy Gray allegedly fought to pull Turpin from her, saving her from further hurt.
Chief Deputy Mark Lucas offered the Daily News a jaundiced sense of context: "The (incident) report says nothing about the suspect being a Democrat. I think this was just because he was male."