Kids keep parents in the dark about cyberbullying
Online bullying could be more pervasive than you think.
Three out of four teens were bullied online over the last year, according to a study released this week by psychologists at the University of California at Los Angeles. And while that number may seem high at the outset, only 1 in 10 of those kids told their parents or another adult about it, the study showed.
The anonymous Web-based study surveyed 1,454 kids between the ages of 12 and 17. Of those, 41 percent reported between one and three cyberbullying incidents during the year; 13 percent reported four to six incidents; and 19 percent reported seven or more. In other words, no longer are victims of bullying relegated to the geeks and nerds of yore when it comes to the Internet.
The psychologists published the results of their research in the September issue of the Journal of School Health.
Many teens neglected to tell their parents about the incidents because they believed they "need to learn to deal with it," according to the research. Others kept it to themselves because they feared that their parents would cut back on their Internet access.
"Many parents do not understand how vital the Internet is to their social lives," said Jaana Juvonen, lead study author and a professor of psychology and chair of UCLA's developmental psychology program. "Parents can take detrimental action with good intentions, such as trying to protect their children by not letting them use the Internet at all. That is not likely to help parent-teen relationships or the social lives of their children."
Juvonen said it's important that parents talk with their kids about bullying well before it happens, as well as look for changes in teens' behavior.
However, it's also equally important to teach children the importance of not becoming bullies themselves, is it not? Surely if bullying is this prevalent online, it's not always a one-sided affair.
Desiree Everts is an associate editor at CNET News who has focused on the digital media and telecommunications industries. E-mail Desiree.
Please don't tell me you are serious.
The internet YES has given us a more social gathering from all over the world. But cutting back on kids internet HELPS THEM!
Let me give you an example as to why cutting down on the internet helps people, socially.
Recently as some of you may have heard, Hurricane Ike struck Houston, TX pretty hard.
The whole city was without power for atleast 2 or 3 days. So that means NO internet, no lights, nothing.
I live in an apartment complex where I had met like 3 or 4 people before the incident.
Because of the internet being off, and tv, and other electrical appliances that give me entertainment at the push of mere buttons... I ventured out to meet new people. To talk to them, and I guess everyone else did the same.
Everyone in Houston was finally walking around. Meeting all their neighbors, talking and discussing everyday life with people they should have met when they first moved in.
We think we are moving forward by giving us the world at our fingertips with the internet. We are doing the exact opposite.
A 15 year old will never meet that other 16 year old from Canada, or China, or wherever. There is no reason to spend hours talking to people you will never meet in real life.
Now that I have used some brain cells. I'll go ahead and leave an ending for people to yell at me about
These kids who are being "Cyber bullied" need to grow up. For real. If you are getting picked on, on the internet... you need to beef up or something.
Start working out and picking on the kids who picked on you. DO something besides sit behind a computer screen wondering why even the internet messes with you.
And the parents that allow this sort of behavior! Of course they'd rather let a computer, tv, or video game raise their child. Makes it easier for them.
There are soooo many issues just within this single article that make me want to scream at any person who actually understands why the hell this thing was even written or givin a thought about being written.
K I'm done. I had to vent when I saw this pointless and absolutely idiotic "News" posting.
This is not about how teens spend too much time on the internet. I wouldn't disagree, but this is about how a benign tool, the internet, is being used to attack others. It has been transformed into something to attack other kids.
Yes talking to your neighbors is important, however speaking to someone around the world can be just as fulfilling. For the past several years I have been emailing a girl in Germany, and while I know I will never meet her I have learned a lot about German life and she in turn has come to understand the US better.
Finally, the idea that you are actually telling a person to "grow up" is terrible. I myself support the ideology hurt whoever hurts you, but not all people work that way, nor can everyone simply get over what has been said or done to them.
Next time think before posting.
But still, I agree. I primarily use the internet to keep up with people I know anyway.
About bullying though...true, it seems silly to be affected by online bullying, but that doesn't mean people have a right to bully others online. Especially if the victim is a 10-year old, or an 8-year old, or maybe even younger; kids are being introduced to computers younger and younger, and at that age people are quite susceptible to bullying.
These services take traditional social development (that is where you learn to speak to others) and throw it into the trash. Actual social development is most likely stunted by these services while an alternate online social life is encouraged to grow. Under Facebook, profiles of friends are easily searched which is nice this part may actually encourage normal social development...but at the same time there are many people who are just "Facebook friends" and not to the point that each would exchange pictures in real life. The ability to know what others are doing and to "investigate" (creep) on the pages of those you do not know so well has a high potential to bring out qualities of a person that under normal social development would not appear.
Now we do live in a dynamic world and as such forms of communication and our ways of interacting are constantly changing. I do not deny this. Perhaps social development where we learn to talk to others face to face is a dying portion of human society. However, it seems to be opposite to the eventual social interaction in view to the the increasing population density as a whole (the earth has a near constant surface area after all and the population of the earth does appear to be increasing).
In conclusion, the constant use of social networks and IM networks is leading to a very different social life and atrophying traditional social life for people. If this route is followed, it seems clear that society we be less able to communicate person to person as persons segregate social life to online communication. Thus, the internet is not important to social lives as seen traditionally but is important to developing a newer social life which I find unappealing.
If the receiving person does not like the communication, why continue to read it. There are very sadistic people out there who crave reading email that tell them they are a loser. That they are stupid, should deserve to live, etc. etc. Why continue torturing yourself through this torment?!?! Evidently, it's in people's psychology to want to feel this way so they can have an excuse to die.
There was a study showing that receiving aggression gives as much pleasure as receiving compliments. This field of study is called cognitive dissonance. Most idiots who haven't study quantum mechanics, that's 99% of all politicians and US population to make good decisions on the human psychology.
We shall learn.
Gabriel's Greater Internet ****wad Theory and all.
Why? They involve the parents of the other child, and most children do not like that, are incensed by that, and come after the child of the parents who informed their parents EVEN HARDER THAN BEFORE.
The only way to stop bullying like this is to totally REMOVE the possibility for the bullying. How do we do that? Remove the children from the school where they are bullying the other student, by expulsion if necessary.
YES there can be psychological damage if they don't have ways to vent it. The children need a venue to discharge (talk about) the issues they have bothering them in a safe environment to help reduce the stress in their life. Any number of community centers may provide such facilities.
Get out of your parents basement and move out on your own for the first time.
Picture a high school girl (lets say a 16 year old) who goes on a date with a guy - pretty harmless it seems, but the guy's ex-gf (say an 18 year old senior) catches wind of it and makes that girl's life hell. Before the internet the taunting and harassment would probably be confined mostly to school. Now with the internet they can take this public and post whatever they want for anyone in the world to see. So instead of it being confined to just the small community of the high school, its now out there for everyone to see.
With the anonymity of the internet, its easier for people to adopt a mob mentality because they're doing it from behind a computer screen. So things get archived for eternities and for years there will be google hits for "Suzie Johnson is a raging *****" - the ramifications of things like that linger for a lot longer than just school. Nothing worse than for a parent to pop in a child's name into google and see blogs/etc that attack their kid.
I use that particular example because its actually a pretty frequent occurrence in high school and I just imagine it would be 10x worse now with the Internet than when I grew up in a slightly less digital age. I'm not a psychologist but I'm pretty sure mental bullying is just as scarring as physical.
Don?t get me wrong. all of the comments have valid points and are useful in the conversation but there is definite attitude.
As a parent, I get the purpose of this article. Parents are the ones responsible for helping their children move into adulthood prepared for the trials and challenges of life. If they are, we're commended but it they're not we're blamed.
Some parents take this responsibility and do a great job with it and others end up hurting their children more than helping so knowledge is a two edged sword. It can help and it can hurt. Most parents want to know what's going on in their children's lives; what they do with it is what really matters for the long haul.
For those parents who want to know what their children are doing on the internet, there is a simple hardware device you can install on the computer your young person is using that will capture their keystrokes. This keylogger will provide you with valuable information but it must be used wisely.
When used to improve your relationship with your child, instruct them, guide them and enhance their self image in order to handle the trials, it is great but when this information causes a parent to control, intimidate and bully their child into submission as a way of handling a trial, it harms the relationship.
As a web site owner of safety and security products that sells keyloggers, I have seen them used both ways. This tool, just like a hammer, in the hands of a skilled carpenter can be used to build a welcoming sanctuary but in the hand of a vengeful predator, can be used to hurt a victim. Let?s be wise in the use of any information we gather from our children?s lives.
I actually talk to more "virtual" friends (strangers really) online than I do real people outside of my work day.
Kind of discouraging.. I think habits developed early may become a lifetime trend as mentioned by several other posters here.
By the way just because you grow up and become an adult does not mean the internet bullying stops. There are grown guys on many web forums (not to mention the older usenet which in many cases has sunk to levels not seen since the wild west.. :) ) who think nothing of endlessly flaming others over petty little disagreements. This is more public, but can degenerate to personal attacks via email as well - I received a couple of pieces of hate mail over the years, and know many who have as well. I am much more careful now..
Some good replies, overall the internet is just another tool to make your life better, it should not be your entire life useful as it is.
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by marianmerritt
October 6, 2008 3:38 PM PDT
- Cyberbullying or internet bullying isn't new, we used to call it flaming when we adults engaged in it. You can see some of the less creative examples in this comment thread. But when pre-teens and teens slander each other, maliciously crop and edit photos, post fake social networking sites and distribute cruel messages via email, texting, Instant Messaging, it damages developing self-esteem, social status in the child's most important environment (their peers) and in turn, teaches the victims how to bully others. It's a vicious and growing problem.
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(14 Comments)Getitng parents to understand the issue will help them stop overreacting when they hear about it in their school or involving their child. Let's talk to our kids NOW, today, about how important it is to control your language, not get involved in these online bashing sessions, not to engage or respond to any bullying they might receive online. And we need to recognize the importance of technology in our kids lives so we can start doing a better job teaching and modeling the right behavior, not just yanking computers out of the home when problems crop up.
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