nonviolent

Glitch, for tree-huggers and chicken-squeezers

If you're like me, you enjoy killing orcs, zombies, spiders, clowns, Kagouti, Vahzilok, and dark Jedi as much as the next guy. But every now and then you put down the mouse and think, is this all there is? Can't I just explore pretty places and, um, pet cute animals or something? Maybe hug people?

That's when you want Glitch.

Unfortunately the game just went back into beta, and it can take a few weeks to get an invite. But if you're looking for something cute and different, it's worth checking out.

Glitch, developed by Tiny Speck, is a browser-based side-scrolling MMO with pleasant graphics and music and a PG-13 sense of humor. There's some easy platform-hopping and coin-collecting, and a little prodding to cooperate and socialize. It's free--you can pay to get more costume options, but you don't need them.

The crux of the game is balancing the demands of your mood and energy levels. You can cook food, make cocktails a la Kingdom of Loathing, grow crops, mine rocks, and so on. That all takes energy. Meanwhile, everywhere you go, trees and pigs--fine, piggies--want to be petted and watered or fed; other players can be hugged or kissed--or mooned or "splanked," if you have a moon or a plank on you.… Read more

Video: Asimo's post-game interview

Congratulations to Honda's Asimo, world champion of Crave's 2007 nonviolent robot tournament. In the final battle of the tournament, the smooth and sophisticated bipedal robot ousted Star Trek: The Next Generation's Data by a 78-22 percentage score.

Oh, and get your Asimo souvenir pennant here.

The total vote count was even more impressive. Asimo boasted 2,873 votes to Data's 861. Either total would have won any other game in the tournament, a testament to the feverish excitement created by the tourney across the world.

The odds-on favorite to win the competition, Asimo beat out 32 … Read more

Vote: Nonviolent robot championship game!

Voting is now closed! See the exciting conclusion of the Nonviolent Robot Tournament right here.

The nonviolent robotic cream has risen to the top. Figuratively.

All this week, Honda's Asimo and Star Trek: The Next Generation's Commander Data will be hitting the hardwood and competing for your votes. The robot with the most votes will take its place among the pantheon of greats, immortalized as the champion of all nonviolent robots.

It's been a long, crazy tournament (get the brackets here). For the round-by-round results, visit the links below. Or just click here for the championship scouting reports … Read more

Vote: The nonviolent robot Final Four

Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of these battles here and vote on the championship battle here!

Get it now! Your updated, printer-friendly tournament bracket.

This is why they play the games have online robot polls.

The Final Four is set, and only one No. 1 seed is still in contention. Not only that, but fan darlings The Beer-Launching Fridge, Bender, Marvin the Paranoid Android, and Nintendo R.O.B. have been sent packing due to heart-wrenching losses in the Elite Eight. They are still champions in the hearts of many, but when it comes to … Read more

Vote: Battle of the nonviolent robots (The Elite 1000)

Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of these battles here and vote on the Final Four matchups here.

Get it now! Your updated, printer-friendly tournament bracket.

This is why they call it Late September Lack-of-Sanity. Upsets, upsets, upsets were the theme of last week's nonviolent robot vote-battles, and only two No. 1 seeds are still in the mix.

Which nonviolent robots will win their division finals and go on to the Final Four? Vote for the winners right now; you have until Sept. 23 to vote on these Elite 1000 matchups.

See last week's final scores … Read more

Vote: Battle of the nonviolent robots (The Sweet Sixteen)

Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of these battles here and vote on the Elite Eight matchups here.

Get it now! Your full-size, printer-friendly tournament bracket.

And then there were 16.

These robots don't want to fight. That's why you have to pick the winners. After two weeks of "battling" it out, our field of nonviolent robots is down to 16 competitors.

Voting is open from now until Sept. 17. Check back then for the results of this round and vote on the Elite Eight matchups.

See last week's final scores … Read more

Vote: Battle of the nonviolent robots (Round 1, Part 2)

Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of these battles here and vote on the Sweet Sixteen matchups here.

These robots don't want to fight. That's why you have to pick the winners. Here's part two of the first round of our grand tournament, featuring robots from the movies and TV. All you have to do is vote for the winners.

Voting is open from now until next Monday, September 10. Check back then for the results of this round, exciting second-round matchups, and a couple of surprises.

See last week's matchups and tournament rules … Read more

Vote: Battle of the non-violent robots

Voting is now closed for this round. See the results of the battles here and vote on eight more first round battles here.

Complex as they are, most robots solve dilemmas in a basic way: they fight each other. Then Michael Bay films it, charges $10 a ticket, and everyone enjoys the marvelous robots-kicking-the-crap-out-of-each-other show.

But there are plenty of robots that have no appetite for destruction. What about these robots, ones that have to rely on personality, artifical wits, social skills, and dance moves in order to survive?

Even if they banded together, these robots couldn't fight their … Read more