love

Sometimes, love is two-dimensional. Especially, it seems, for men.

I never thought I would be able to write a more moving headline than "Man marries video game character." But here we are, gathered today, to celebrate the union between Lee Jin-gyu and a pillow.

Yes, it has taken a mere three and a half months for the video character betrothal to seem nothing more than cheap publicity for stunted minds.

What is so very beautiful and exciting about this union is that the husband can take his new bride anywhere. I have, indeed, embedded a little footage of the happy couple at the amusement park, strapped in for what promises to be a wild ride.

The bride, you see, is called Fate Testarossa. It would be beneath me to suggest that she is built for speed. Indeed, she seems from the footage to offer a comforting and reassuring presence in a world that has clearly gone beyond any normal definitions of insanity.

Fate Testarossa is a magical character in the Japanese anime series "Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha." And she is imprinted on this "dakimakura" pillow in a most lifelike, serene representation.… Read more

Imagine you are somewhat advanced in years. You still get your news from a physical newspaper. You still get your pleasure from a physical person.

Then along comes your wacky nephew, or just some distantly removed acquaintance, who decides that you have to work a little to get to their wedding. This may well be the dilemma facing the invitees to the wedding of a couple of German geeks, Darina and Niko.

According to Offbeat Bride, a place where couples share their propensity to waft away from "beaten aisle," Darina explained in an entirely harmonious way: "We … Read more

I, like many others, am looking for science to control the world. Humans have used their instincts for far too long. They have bungled too much. Now it's time for the scientific to become beatific.

I am therefore leaping as if it were February 29 to discover that scientists in Europe have finally come up with the perfect formula for the ultimate human condition: marriage.

Regular sufferers here will know that this subject fascinates me beyond the usual level of engagement. A little while ago, mathematicians came up with a formula for choosing a wife. Essentially, it involved selecting … Read more

A man is caught red-handed by his blue-bodied wife.

He is in bed with another woman. His wife is not happy. His wife, in fact, begins to assault him. She slaps him, as he and his other woman try to escape.

Is this a scene from "Fatal Attraction"? Is this, perhaps, a cinematic homage to two Oscar-nominated movies, "It's Complicated" and "Avatar"?

No, it is merely a commercial for AshleyMadison.com, the site that helps married people hook up with, well, other married people. AshleyMadison claims to have 4.5 million members and … Read more

This post will have no Tiger Woods jokes.

Tiger Woods has a serious problem. And there is absolutely no reason to encourage cheap laughter just because of an astonishing new iPhone app that makes it easier for you to cheat on your spouse, offer heinously regrettable insults, or employ a hitman--all without worrying that your texts will betray your true self.

So this app is called TigerText. So what? I am sure the golfer's deep and troubling recent past did not enter into the creators' heads when they named this ingenious little technological concoction.

TigerText, you see, erases your texts. It makes them go away. It makes them disappear like the midriff of a magician's assistant. What is so beautiful is that not only do your texts disappear from your own phone records, they also vamoose from the phone of your unfortunate recipient.

You can even decide when they vamoose. After a minute. Or, if you are fond of self-torture, after any time period up to 30 days.

Tiger Text demo from Jason Evans on Vimeo.

This concept seems brilliant on so many levels that my vast and excited arms cannot embrace all of these levels simultaneously.

I am sure you, too, sometimes send texts that you would dearly love to take back. You liken your boss, your lover, or your chiropodist to some human orifice or dubious sexual practice. You allow your fingers to work slightly ahead of your editing skills. Suddenly, words that don't reflect your true, kind, thoughtful self, wing their way across 3G until they stir up emotions in 3D. … Read more

I feel sure you will find the appropriate way to express your love on Valentine's Day.

Maybe you will take your love to dinner. You will buy flowers. You might get a card or lingerie. Perhaps you will even seek out some revolutionary bondage gear. However, I feel sure that not many of you will choose to offer your love a video game experience.

It seems that not everyone is as sure as me--or, for that matter, the wise and wonderful bloggers at Deadspin, who received a most delightfully thoughtful communication from a PR company. This PR company, called … Read more

Given that Mark Zuckerberg has explained to you that privacy is no longer a social norm, your first thought this morning was probably, "How can I get more of my information to be public on Facebook?"

Your second might well have been something to do with improving your current relationship with your beloved.

In a heartwarming analysis of Google searches, Dan Ariely, author of the beautifully named "Predictably Irrational," revealed just how different boyfriends and girlfriends are, when it comes to asking the Google oracle for ways to solve their relationship problems.

Taking the search "… Read more

The FBI has accused the man who allegedly was first, or among the first, to upload a pirated copy of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" that circulated online in April. What authorities have apparently yet to do is identify the original source of the leak.

On Wednesday, after Gilberto Sanchez was charged in New York with violating federal copyright laws by posting "Wolverine" to a file-sharing site a month before the film's theatrical release, he told reporters from The New York Daily News: "It's just ridiculous. I bought it from a Korean guy on the … Read more

Justin is sick today, so Demetrius Wren and Christina Ghubril join the show to talk about their new film "Streetball." It's the story of a group of homeless South African kids who try to break out of the cycle of poverty by competing in the Homeless World Cup. After some calls about "1984" and convergence, we talk a bit about some unusual uses of bacon flavor.

The most amazing part of "Streetball" was that it was entirely written, shot, edited, directed, and produced by two people! It's a full-length transcontinental movie made possible with only a couple of laptops and some prosumer cameras that have really leaped toward professional film cameras. Demetrius points out that it would not have been possible to shoot their film with a huge camera crew and big pieces of equipment.

The movie is a really fascinating look at how South Africa has changed and not changed since the end of apartheid. The pair says the film is on track for a June-July 2010 release, so be sure to check it out. (Side note: "Streetball" is sponsored by the From Us with Love charity. Be sure to donate!)

After the break, we get to some voice mails about how George Orwell's dystopian future may already be here. That means it may be a normal thing this time next year for Big Brother to know exactly what you purchased at Wal-Mart and that you spend way too much time at the bar down the street.

Last story of the day is about bacon--oh, that delicious food of the gods! Jeff the Hypochondriac thinks bacon-flavored envelopes just might be enough to get him to lick his envelopes closed again. Meanwhile, an intrepid live listener of the show shows us some bacon-flavored chapstick along with some bacon-flavored...personal...lubricant. Yeah, the show ends on that note today.

Side note: We changed the way we're naming our shows in the blog. This is probably going to result in some confusion and backlash. It was done to please the Internet gods.