wozniak

Woz: Steve Jobs sounds healthy and energetic

With a little more than a month to go before he is scheduled to return to Apple, Steve Jobs sounds "healthy" and "energetic," Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak told The Wall Street Journal.

Speaking to the Journal at the D: All Things Digital conference, Wozniak said that Jobs didn't sound sick or appear to be in any kind of a health crisis.

The news from Wozniak is the first tentative confirmation to the public that Jobs' health is improving. Concern grew for Jobs last year after public appearances at which he seemed gaunt.

Speculation was that … Read more

Fusion-io, HP claim extreme solid-state drive speeds

Fusion-io, the company that boasts Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak as its chief scientist, says it has achieved extremely high data transfer speeds on servers from Hewlett-Packard.

Solid-state drives are generally faster than hard-disk drives, particularly at reading data, and have no moving parts, unlike hard disk drives.

Working together in HP's ProLiant engineering labs in Houston, HP and Fusion-io built a system using five 320GB ioDrive Duos (see photo) and six 160GB ioDrives in a single HP ProLiant DL785 G5 server, running with four Quad-Core Opteron processors from Advanced Micro Devices, Fusion-io said.

This configuration allowed the engineers to … Read more

Steve Jobs doll for sale, Conficker sold separately

Whether you use it as a sleeping aid or a pincushion is up to you, but the unofficial Steve Jobs doll is officially for sale at Podbrix.

He's pretty cute though, right? Just as you'd expect, the 17-inch tall doll bears a striking resemblance to everyone's favorite Applet, with the classic black turtleneck, a pair of wire glasses, and even a set of hand-stitched shoelaces. No bottle of Smart Water, though, probably because of that whole royalties thing. You, not your children (the glasses are a choking hazard), can pick up your own Plush Jobs here for … Read more

The Dancing Woz eliminated--Conficker to blame?

In cubicles all around Silicon Valley, geeks will be weeping Wednesday.

Yes, despite the best efforts of every possible method of social networking, Steve Wozniak was eliminated, ejected, rejected and thrown into the tango trash by the cruelty that is the voting process of "Dancing with the Stars."

A theory had wafted through the danceosphere that techies would hijack the online voting process and project their lovable, but not entirely ego-free, hero to the sinuous summit.

The fact that he was sent home suggests three possibilities.

One, the producers, deeply depressed at having their integrity besmirched by Woz'… Read more

Woz picks up the stench of Buenos Aires

He started with a rose between his teeth. He ended by spitting the thorns shoved into his mouth by the "Dancing with the Stars" judges right back at them.

Was Woz's sperm-infested Argentine tango any better than his worm-infested samba? Perhaps. In the same way that a poke in the eye with a short stick is better than a poke in the eye with a long one.

Hindered by an endearing lack of coordination, Woz succumbed to the same problem that had plagued him in rehearsals. He was unable to deliver the tango's nasty part.

His … Read more

Woz: I'm treating judges like peep show voyeurs

Once upon a time, Debbie did Dallas. Monday, Steve Wozniak is fully intending to hump a little Hollywood. Yes, unbridled, uninhibited, unimaginable sex. In the form of the Argentine tango.

His e-mails to his Facebook Support Group have become so detailed, so intimate, that at times, I find myself wondering what it would be like if Woz grabbed me by the digits and whisked me onto the dance floor.

I imagine that his grip might be a little sweaty and uncertain. I also imagine that I would be wishing he were his professional partner, Karina Smirnoff.

However, Woz is determined … Read more

Woz's iTunes crashes! He's off to an Apple store

I know that most of you are, by now, so into "Dancing with the Stars" that you are being accused of ADD. Attention to Dancing Disorder.

So please pay attention, because I have an announcement to make. Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak's iTunes has crashed. And it is affecting his rehearsals significantly.

I know that you will all want to join me at the heart of the problem. So here is Woz's own description from his latest e-mail to his Facebook Support Group: "it quits with horrible error messages...odd, since I'd had no crashes … Read more

The tech empire strikes back! Woz worms on

I am fairly confident in thinking that Steve Wozniak has never slept with Charlie Sheen.

Perhaps it was this small, imperfectly-formed thought embedded in people's minds that saved the Apple co-founder on "Dancing with the Stars" and condemned Denise Richards, the former Mrs. Sheen, to elimination. People's predilections are often based on such fickle suppositions--especially when it comes to voting up to 13 times.

Perhaps, though, it was also the tech industry that lifted Woz up on an emotional sedan chair and carried his beaten body to yet another week of competition.

In the elimination show, … Read more

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