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20 percent of Brits thinks Steve Jobs is a soccer player

The more time you spend around people in the tech industry, the more you realize just how important some of them think they are. When one is from outside the milieu, this can sometimes seem a little strange.

Now evidence has emerged that might give some in the tech industry pause for reflection. And I don't mean staring at their own gorgeous reflection in the mirror.

A survey performed by the Lewis PR company, brought to my joyously watering eyes by TheNextWeb, revealed that 20 percent of Brits questioned thought Steve Jobs was what they call a footballer and what Americans sweetly describe as a soccer player.

Though many of you will toss your mice up in horror at the mere concept, I must admit I am not in the least bit surprised. It's not that Brits are uneducated or unaware. They are really quite bright, in a bookish sort of way. Moreover, if you watch the footage of the survey interviews I have embedded here, the surveyors questioned American and French people who happened to be in the U.K. too.

No, this result is unsurprising because "Steve Jobs" really does sound like a soccer player. His is the name of a dour, destructive lower-league midfielder who repeatedly gets yellow cards for late, over-the-top tackles that result in severe injuries to opponents. The name conjures up a man who spits a lot, pulls his opponents by the tiny hairs on their lower back, and stares menacingly at referees and handsome males in bars.

For those who have no interest at all in the personalities (such as they are) of the business world--never mind the narrow personalities of the tech world--Steve Jobs might as well be a soccer player. Or, as the 10 percent of the 1,000 respondents thought, a trade union leader.… Read more

MySpace restores Imeem playlists

I criticized MySpace for burying Imeem when it bought the company last month, but it looks like MySpace is finally making good on its promise to let Imeem users transfer their music.

Imeem users began receiving e-mails on Friday explaining that they could now import their old Imeem playlists to MySpace, turning them into MySpace playlists. All they have to do is log in to MySpace, enter the e-mail address they used for Imeem into this form, and their playlists should automatically be transferred to the new service.

Unfortunately, I didn't save any of my music on Imeem in … Read more

Oh goody!!!!!! A punctuation mark for sarcasm

There were many people, quite a few in America, who were excited, delighted, even positively beaming when some clever cove created that smiley colon/parenthesis thing that is now the universal sign of a written smile.

:) That's the one. The one that is sometimes written as ":0" or ":-)" or, for a smiling wink, ";)." Or even, and this is far beyond my intellectual galaxy, "J". Does that signify "JOKINGYOUMORON!!!!!!!!"? I think that it does.

All these symbols have been such great successes in bringing people together and making them … Read more

Conan to 'sell' the 'Tonight Show' on Craigslist

America has been gripped this week by the battle between two men, each with one portion of his head oversized: Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno.

The baiting and the bile have spilled over into the online world. The "I'm with Coco" Facebook group already has more than 157,000 fans and a lovely icon of O'Brien with which people are adorning their personal, but highly public, profiles.

Friday, I awoke to a Leno fightback. The Huffington Post reports that NBC executive Dick Ebersol described O'Brien as "an astounding failure." He also said … Read more

Is 'Avatar' giving you the blues?

I haven't been to see "Avatar" because I have feared it would make me depressed. I have feared I would be depressed that so much money had been spent on a movie which, like "Titanic," made me manicure the fingernails of my right hand using the fingernails of my left.

It appears, however, that I am not alone in experiencing "Avatar"-related dysthymia. According to the erudite CNN discussion I have embedded, thousands of people have been flooding "Avatar" chat sites and saying that the movie did, indeed, depress them. But their reasons are somewhat different than mine.

They seem to feel miserable that the idyllic world of Pandora is nothing more than a box of 3D tricks. They want it to exist. They are sad that it doesn't.

CNN quoted one depressed post-"Avatar" poster who wrote: "It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning." On the Facebook Avatar-Forums group, a wall poster called Paul Neumann wrote: "ALL I SAID WAS " I DON'T WANT TO BE ON EARTH AND HUMAN ANYMORE, I JUST WANT TO BE ON PANDORA WITH THE NA'VI!"!"

Jo Piazza, a CNN entertainment writer declared: "I think the depression is widespread enough that it is an actual phenomenon."… Read more

EA wants your thoughts on Tiger Woods

General Motors has taken away his cars. Perhaps it was something to do with his driving record.

Accenture has replaced all those entertainingly spurious images of him in their ads with a picture of an elephant on a surfboard. (Which rather finely describes the balancing act he allegedly tried to perform for so many years.)

However, EA is not going to be moved so easily to distancing itself from Tiger Woods. The company has already said that it will release a new "Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online" game.

Now, Kotaku has discovered that EA wants to know just … Read more

The Amazon.com of pot

I am sure there are many of you who inhale marijuana for purely medicinal purposes. Your pains might be physical. They might be psychological. But you feel as though your world is going to pot, so you turn to pot.

Now, an enterprising man called John Lee has decided to bring a little online rigor to your smoking vigor.

Sonoma, Calif.-based Lee has created PlainView Systems, a remarkably non-hippie name for a venture that, according to CNNMoney.com, he describes as the Amazon of pot.

That would be Amazon.com, rather than the never-ending river.

A visit to the … Read more

Fugitive who teased police on Facebook caught

An escaped convict who entertained so many on Facebook with his taunting of the U.K. police, has finally been friended in person by the long arm of the law, according to the Associated Press.

Craig "Lazie" Lynch, who had been in jail for aggravated burglary, flew the coop on September 23 and began to create a little fame for himself with a Facebook page that grew him tens of thousands of fans.

The U.K. police asked Facebook to help in locating him and his Facebook page has finally disappeared. However, the "Where is Craig 'Lazie' Lynch" groupRead more

Croatia's new president faces Facebook issues

When you become president of your country, you walk into crises from the very first day.

Threats to your country's security may abound. Some of your cabinet ministers may be enjoying risky extramarital relations. But perhaps no newly elected president has ever had to confront as difficult a situation as Ivo Josipovic, Croatia's new head of state.

For, according to Reuters, he is tearing his rather impressive hair out at the thought of having too many Facebook friends.

"I have 5,000 friends, which is the maximum allowed on Facebook. I also have another 7,000 waiting … Read more

How Google tells you what men and women want

Given that Mark Zuckerberg has explained to you that privacy is no longer a social norm, your first thought this morning was probably, "How can I get more of my information to be public on Facebook?"

Your second might well have been something to do with improving your current relationship with your beloved.

In a heartwarming analysis of Google searches, Dan Ariely, author of the beautifully named "Predictably Irrational," revealed just how different boyfriends and girlfriends are, when it comes to asking the Google oracle for ways to solve their relationship problems.

Taking the search "… Read more