marriage

I, like many others, am looking for science to control the world. Humans have used their instincts for far too long. They have bungled too much. Now it's time for the scientific to become beatific.

I am therefore leaping as if it were February 29 to discover that scientists in Europe have finally come up with the perfect formula for the ultimate human condition: marriage.

Regular sufferers here will know that this subject fascinates me beyond the usual level of engagement. A little while ago, mathematicians came up with a formula for choosing a wife. Essentially, it involved selecting … Read more

Adultery is a strange word.

As I understand the concept, you make promises in front of a priest, rabbi or, perhaps, a retired bartender in Las Vegas, and then you decide that maybe those promises were made to the wrong person. Or, perhaps, that it was the wrong person making those promises. A little like, well, a recalcitrant 5-year-old.

So I struggle with finding the "adult" part of adultery.

However, I have been enlightened by Reuters that one of the contributory factors to cheating on your betrothed may be snow.

You see, the wire service's Oddly Enough … Read more

You know that apocalypse thing we're always being told might be just around the corner? Well, do you feel the chilling breeze? Do you feel the troubled twittering in the trees?

For here is a tale that I know you will discuss with your loved ones, perhaps with other people's loved ones, even with your psychological professional, the minute you hear it.

It appears a man called Dana Hanna is standing at the altar on November 21. He utters those most solemn vows about how he will love and obey or whatever it is that married people claim … Read more

As you begin to contemplate your Thanksgiving meal, your family gathered around you, your loved ones embracing you, please be thankful you are not Sal9000.

Sal appears to be a man with very idiosyncratic needs, which he has attempted to satiate by marrying his favorite video game character.

Perhaps you think I have finally lost my last marble. However, please examine this footage. Courtesy of the radical realists at BoingBoing, this video shows that Sal married Nene Anegasaki, a character in the Nintendo DS game, Love Plus.

These unique nuptials were apparently broadcast on the Japanese video sharing site, Nico Nico Douga, … Read more

I have always wanted to propose marriage to someone.

It's just that somehow the moment's never seemed right. Or, well, the lover in question leaves before the question can be popped.

So perhaps I might learn from this dashing, daring, and technically very correct man who found one of the more romantic ways to tell his girlfriend of five years he would like to spend at least the next five years with her.

He seems to be something of a geeky sort, so he reached for an editing program called Lunar Magic and inserted the deeply felt words "Lisa Will You Marry Me?" into a Super Mario World level.

Touchingly, the words were spelled out in gold coins.

The Super Mario suitor didn't reveal his name on YouTube, but the poster's identity is BradSmith182. So I know some of you might conclude his name is Brad Smith and he is a large aficionado of Blink 182.

The video does not start in a promising or loving way. Lisa somewhat rattily declares: "Why are we playing this?" as if, perhaps, there was some more cerebral game she had in mind.

But once she sees the magic words and BradSmith182 brings out the ring, she agrees somewhat shyly to be with him for better, for worse, and for Mario.… Read more

Perhaps the subject most fascinating to me at the moment is the gamble that is involved in choosing a life partner.

Perhaps I have been unnecessarily haunted since research revealed that Facebook destroys romantic relationships. Still, it was quite odd that a man whom I have chosen to follow on Twitter for his remarkable erudition in social psychology (oh, alright, his name is Dominic Johnson) passed along a quite extraordinary article from New Scientist, one that has made me ponder more deeply than I usually care to.

While the article begins by discussing the mathematical ways in which you can … Read more

MB Numerology Marriage Vibration lets users analyze their wedding day to get information about their marriage. Although we cannot vouch for how accurate it is, the program did provide a brief analysis of each date we entered.

As is the case with all Mystic Board programs, the first screen is a cluttered mess of advertising for Mystic Board. Once users get past that, they enter their name and wedding day (or potential wedding day) to get their analysis. The program assigns a "marriage vibration number," but gives no indication what that number means or how it's derived. … Read more

It's lifted up those who have been dumped by their one-eyed lovers.

It's made married couples turn to each other and think: "Why in the blessed blazes did I marry you?"

One can even imagine it will inspire those who are about to embark on one of life's more treacherous paths to reassess their mode of transport.

Am I talking about the new health care bill? No, I'm talking about the latest and perhaps most inspirational video to have graced YouTube's library of life.

When Jill Peterson and Kevin Hines set their wedding … Read more