The other day I was talking on my cell phone and tried to walk into Trader Joe's through the exit door. I looked up to find a row of registers blocking my way and a guy with a name tag looking at me funny.
"Hey man, why don't you get that thing out of your ear?" he said, not entirely without humor.
He had a point.
It's ironic. I make fun of people who drive around with these things glued to their ears. I imagine they can't stand a minute alone with themselves and their thoughts. Hungry for distraction, desperate for human contact, they talk, talk, talk.
I have a neighbor who I think had her cell phone surgically attached to her head. It has to be; it's always there. I heard that one of her kids was actually born that way. I'm thinking it's a new genetic mutation that will eventually propagate through the entire human race.… Read more