Smirnoff

It is very hard to imagine Steve Wozniak with his tails between his legs.

But I feared that it would happen several times during a quickstep that was more of a frenetic step on his second performance for "Dancing with the Stars."

Dancing on a fractured left foot, he threw himself into his Buddy Holly-inspired "Oh, Boy" routine with all the gusto of a drunken chef who had stumbled into trials for the San Francisco 49ers. As he did, the Apple co-founder's tails (yes, as in formal wear) flapped like the arms of a virgin … Read more

Dancing with the Astaires, it isn't.

But Monday's "Dancing with the Stars" will see the next step in Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak's hop to be hip. And it will be a quickstep. Or at least as quick as the Woz can muster.

In his latest detailed outpouring of sweat-by-syllable to his Facebook Support Group, Wozniak lays bare the pain and gain.

His fractured foot is responding well. He went four days without Aspirin and only took an Aleve on Saturday night in order to appease his aching, breaking body.

Typing many, many words with a … Read more

It might just be another weekend for you, but it is another 48 hours toward the quickstep of his life for Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak.

Those who have become intimately entwined (and there's not enough of you--more on that in a short while) with the Woz's quixotic quest for glory on "Dancing with the Stars" will know that he has experienced a week sent by Satan.

The judges on the show poo-pooed his cha-cha. Then he discovered that his foot had given way to the pressure and fractured.

Still, you will be delighted to hear that … Read more

I didn't want to worry anyone unduly. Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak mentioned on his blog this morning that after his "Dancing with the Stars" exertions, mental, physical and comedic, he was off to see the doctor.

I couldn't be sure what kind of doctor this was. A witch doctor to put a curse on the judges, I thought.

But, no. The Woz has been feeling pain in his foot. And an X-ray and an MRI have revealed that he has been struck with the injury curse that has already removed Jewel, the blonde singer, and Nancy … Read more

Unless you have been unjustly thrown into a Turkish jail for the last 48 hours, you'll know that Steve Wozniak felt a little disheartened after the judges placed him last and compared him to a "Teletubby going mad in a gay pride parade" in the first round of this season's "Dancing with the Stars."

All is not lost. In fact, nothing is lost at all. If anything, he has gained the sympathy of millions. I say "millions" because Monday's show was its highest-rated season debut yet. And this show has been … Read more

He was wearing a black shirt and black pants. Oh, yes, and a pink boa.

That's why I needed to watch Steve Wozniak's "Dancing with the Stars" debut twice. Everybody needs to watch Wozniak twice.

He showed the personal grace of royalty. He exuded the breezy joy of someone who, one suspects, has very little to worry about.

And then there was the dancing.

In an opening act that was effortful, but, at times, reminiscent of a varicose vein on cocaine, Wozniak chased his professional partner, Karina Smirnoff, around the dance floor and rarely caught a … Read more

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak should now be preparing for the dancing equivalent of the Hindu walking over hot coals.

It has just been announced that in the new series of ABC's Dancing With The Stars he will be paired with the Ukrainian professional Karina Smirnoff.

Ms. Smirnoff is not someone who often suggests she has experienced satisfaction. Her primary expression is the one that says: "What the hell do YOU want?" She glares at critical judges as if they were aged drunken Latvians whom she has just seen emerging from a bordello.

She is no more forgiving … Read more