If I show up for something on time, it's probably an accident. Some of us just weren't born with internal clocks that sync up with the rest of the world--the gifts in the gallery below are for people who're late for everything.

I was late turning this in, so surely, there's something I missed--toss your own ideas in the comments.

Passive-aggressive gifts for tardy geeks (photos)

This story originally appeared on Gizmodo.

No ice needed.

(Credit: Bed Bath & Beyond)

While nothing beats enjoying a cooler full of ice-cold beverages at the park, beach, or backyard barbecue, there is a bit of a downside risk: wet cans. As drinks are plucked from the murky depths of the ice chest, ice that is no longer ice clings to the can. It's something even cold-activated cans cannot fix.

Since the dawn of mankind (or at least the invention of the tailgate party), people have looked for a way to enjoy the crisp, clean taste of their favorite drinks without the inconvenience of wet fingers. Now, finally, there is a way.

The Wine Enthusiast Koolatron Rechargeable Bar On Wheels provides a way to cool your drinks anywhere, without the use of ice. The rechargeable cooler cools contents to a "near refrigerator" temperature of 40 degrees F.

Plugging into a standard home outlet, the 41-pound portable cooler also includes an AC/DC adapter for vehicle charging. One charge is good for up to four hours of active, quiet cooling, and for easy portability, two wheels are attached at the base.

With three removable shelves and space for in-door bottle cooling, the portable party-maker has a versatile interior capable of cooling all types of beverages. Complete with a flat work area on top and a hanging basket for accessories on the side, this cooling solution is sure to be a hit at your next outdoor event.

But it will cost you--$449.99 in at least one listing we saw. What do you think? Is saving the ice for putting in your drinks instead of on them worth that tag?

The lust-worthy Sprint MiFi 2200 will be free on Black Friday.

(Credit: Sprint)

Here we go: one week until Black Friday. Am I excited? Pumped? Polishing the ol' credit card for a day of deal-crazed madness?

Eh.

Don't get me wrong: I enjoy BF as much as the next cheapskate. But I'm weary of the month-long hype machine, what with all the "leaked" ads, pre-Black Friday sales, and so on.

What's more, I have never, and will never, set foot in a retail store on Black Friday. I don't enjoy crowds, especially the deal-crazed variety. Oh, and 5 a.m.? That's sleep time, not stand-in-line-in-the-freezing-cold time.

My other issue: Like last year, the deals I've seen so far just aren't that great. Know why? Because everything's already dirt-cheap all year. Regular Cheapskate readers have seen the $50 GPS, the $80 Blu-ray player, the sub-$300 32-inch HDTV. Sadly for retailers, there's just not much room to go any lower.

All that being said, what kind of cheapskate would I be if I didn't give this hallowed shopping holiday a little love? So here you go: five deals/offers/promotions I'm liking this year. Want more? Dealnews has some of the best Black Friday coverage around--including these tips on using price-matching in retail stores.

Lauding, lamenting Hello Kitty at 35 (photos)

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Thirty-five years ago, Hello Kitty dropped an atomic cute bomb on the world and the universe was forever changed.

Developed in 1974, the iconic kawaii cat debuted with Japanese character licensing firm Sanrio in 1975 on a small change purse that sold for 240 yen (around 80 cents at the time). Sanrio has since built a vast global empire on Kitty's popularity, and related licensing deals now account for a huge chunk (some say about half) of Sanrio's $5 billion in annual sales.

Over the past three and a half decades, Kitty's mouth-missing face has graced thousands upon thousands of products, from wallets, trash cans, alarm clocks, stationary, and airplanes to cell phones, cell phone chargers, Netbooks, massively multiplayer online role-playing games, USB lap warmers, karaoke systems, and even assault rifles--yes assault rifles.

Kitty's 35th birthday year has proven to be yet another opportunity for a merchandising bonanza, and fortunately (or tragically, depending on your perspective), the global fat cat shows absolutely no sign of slowing down or loosening her claw-like grip on the consumer electronics industry. So to fete the feline on her special occasion, we breathed a sigh of resignation and rounded up some of the scariest cutest Hello Kitty gadgets from the past year (see our gallery above).

Didn't we hear the retirement age for fictional Japanese cats is 36?

You may not know it, but deep within the ivory towers of hospitals a debate is raging over the future of the doctor's necktie. One company has turned the debate into an opportunity with a tie whose stain-resistant coating actually thwarts microbes.

Safety Ties come in various patterns, including this brick red/maroon style with silver/gray stripes.

(Credit: SafetySmart)

Much evidence has emerged in recent years that doctors wearing ties might actually cause as much harm to patients as doctors who don't wash their hands. In one 2004 study of 42 doctors and medical staffers at the New York Hospital Medical Center of Queens, almost 50 percent of the neckties were host to bacteria that can cause pneumonia, blood infections, and more.

I'm no squirmy person, but that's just gross.

In 2006, the British Medical Association suggested that medical personnel no longer wear "functionless" items such as neckties that carry "superbugs."

And this summer, the American Medical Association considered Resolution 720, which pushed for a dress code that addresses the issue of neckties, long sleeves, and other clothing items and accessories "implicated in the spread of infections in hospitals." Implicated! This has gotten serious, folks. (A committee wants more evidence before bringing the resolution to a vote.)

But because many doctors are publicly pushing for the preservation of the necktie, which is the cred equivalent of gold grills for rappers like Flava Flav, April Strider of SafeSmart in Florida has put her money on a compromise: the high-tech, antimicrobial tie.

Is the doctor's necktie making you sick?

(Credit: alacoolk/Flickr)

Strider tells the Wall Street Journal that the coating "repels bacterial contamination." She even designed the ties with a graphic print of the H1N1 influenza strand, among other "doctor themes," a lovely twist of irony as she manages to put germs on her germ-free ties. Strider's already got a major client in Wilson Memorial Hospital, near Dayton, Ohio, where some docs are wearing polo shirts but others prefer to stick with ties.

A big "oh well" to all the (probably younger) doctors hoping to do away with the necktie altogether. Hey, you could always try Portland, land of the laid-back workplace. Of course, then you'd have to grow a beard, which is a bit like farming your own colony of happy bacteria. At least that H1N1 tie is currently on sale, marked down from $44.95 to $29.95.

A "patient" choosing the Australia theme, one of 10 currently available in the Ambient Experience suite of the National Heart Centre Singapore's cardiac catheterization laboratory.

(Credit: Philips)

Cardiac patients undergoing procedures at the National Heart Centre Singapore (NHCS) starting Thursday may find themselves either immersed in a Disney World setting or the African Savannah, with accompanying audio playing in the background. It's part of a testbed project by the center involving Philips' Ambient Experience to soothe patients through the intimidating clinical process of preparation, examination, treatment, and post-procedure.

The Ambient Experience takes patients on a multimedia ride, letting them personalize the lighting, projected images, and sounds in the examination or lab room. The 10 themes can be selected via a menu on a wireless touch-screen tablet, with more themes on the way. Once picked, the patient's choice is projected on the walls and ceilings and through TV screens, wrapping the user in a multi-sensory setting of his or her own choosing.

The wireless touch screen lets the patient instantaneously personalize the room's "theme."

(Credit: Philips)

So far, the Ambient Experience appears to have had a positive impact on the three patients who earlier sampled it. According to 75-year-old Neo Bee, who was at the cardiac catheterization laboratory to have angioplasty to open her blocked arteries, "I saw birds and kangaroos on the ceiling and there was soothing music, too. I felt calm and relaxed."

It's National Toilet Day today, and Justin isn't here to celebrate. Fortunately, we more than make it up with dozens upon dozens of fecal jokes. Mark Licea of The Green Show joins the show today to talk tech and...lingerie?

(Credit: CBS Interactive/Wilson G. Tang)

Admittedly, we here at The 404 celebrate National Toilet Day at least three times a day, but we're glad to see that people across the planet are starting to recognize the importance of the porcelain throne. It may sound a bit unusual for us to be so beholden to the toilet, but most New Yorkers can sympathize. After all, most of us here have to deal with a mixed bag of ethnic food and $20 dollar fees to use a public restroom.

In nonpoop news, we talk about a Warner Bros. program to let DVD owners upgrade their discs to Blu-ray versions. The program is called DVD2Blu. This only applies to Warner Bros. films, and viewers must pay a fee of $8 to $10 per disc. We think this is a great idea. Wilson is especially keen on not having to pay $30 for each disc in his "Lord of the Rings" and "Star Wars" collections.

Also, Jeff has a follow up to our video game censorship series. He interviewed Major Nelson of Microsoft to talk about racism, misogyny, and homophobia in online gaming. Check it out. A keen chat room listener though points out the irony of talking about derogatory words when players are shooting people in the head.

If you're worried about your cheating wife or girlfriend, a Brazilian line of lingerie from LindeLucy that comes with a built-in GPS tracking device. Now, the device is not exactly subtle, but for the paranoid ones out there, this might be the trick to keep your lady in line--or get her mad at you, again. Trust, after all, is the bond that holds all relationships together.

Finally, we get to some voice mails and viewer feedback about cool moms that play video games before their children do and an early review of "2012." Wilson is disappointed with the fact that the film won't be available in IMAX. He just wants to watch the world burn. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew remember the movie magic of the first "Jurassic Park" movie. The t. rex at the end: Priceless.

Send in your feedback and callbacks to the404 [at] cnet [dot] com. Or call us! We are after all an audio podcast too! The number is 1-866-404-CNET (2638). Thanks again!

(Credit: GoodGuide)

Just in time for the crazed holiday shopping season, San Francisco-based GoodGuide releases the first iPhone app that lets you scan bar codes for what the guide calls "impartial" health, environmental, and social responsibility ratings of not only the products you are scanning but their companies, too.

GoodGuide's free app lets you scan an item's bar code and instantly retrieve info on that product's health, environmental, and social responsibility ratings.

(Credit: GoodGuide)

As our Webware staff wrote in August, "GoodGuide is the reason we have awards for tech services and products: it's a small and relatively unknown service that demonstrates real leadership on the Web." And as we report in Health Tech just this week, GoodGuide is an invaluable resource when shopping for toys, as it provides the levels of lead, mercury, chlorine, etc., that might be in the toys.

But GoodGuide's newest app is quite possibly the group's pinnacle achievement thus far. Now, instead of having to be organized enough to do your research online before hitting the stores, or using the app's 2008 iteration, which involves entering a product into a GoodGuide database on your phone, now anyone with an iPhone can literally scan bar codes while shopping.

Seriously, this could become a tick. I kind of want to spend all day scanning bar codes with the same fervor I used to pop package bubbles as a kid. As GoodGuide spokesperson Suzanne Skyvara (mother of two boys, ages 8 and 5) tells me in a delightful English accent that somehow makes everything sound healthy and socially responsible: "It's making it easier to be good. We all want to do this, but god, who's got the time to research it all?"

I envision scoffing with delight at the higher-priced products that don't actually measure up to their less expensive counterparts, a discovery likely as satisfying as catching a poker player mid-bluff. Or, conversely, I can see justifying a slightly more expensive product that is far healthier for my body and environment.

Of course, the value of such a system hinges on how good the information is. GoodGuide licensed Occipital's RedLaser bar code-scanning technology for this app and culled ratings for more than 62,000 food, personal care, household chemical and toy products and companies, and plans to add thousands more every month. Learn more about GoodGuide's rating system here.

Best of all, of course, is that GoodGuide's app is free--a fact that also sounds delightful in an English accent. All you need is the funds to own an iPhone, but that's a different story.

Justin is sick today, so Demetrius Wren and Christina Ghubril join the show to talk about their new film "Streetball." It's the story of a group of homeless South African kids who try to break out of the cycle of poverty by competing in the Homeless World Cup. After some calls about "1984" and convergence, we talk a bit about some unusual uses of bacon flavor.

The most amazing part of "Streetball" was that it was entirely written, shot, edited, directed, and produced by two people! It's a full-length transcontinental movie made possible with only a couple of laptops and some prosumer cameras that have really leaped toward professional film cameras. Demetrius points out that it would not have been possible to shoot their film with a huge camera crew and big pieces of equipment.

The movie is a really fascinating look at how South Africa has changed and not changed since the end of apartheid. The pair says the film is on track for a June-July 2010 release, so be sure to check it out. (Side note: "Streetball" is sponsored by the From Us with Love charity. Be sure to donate!)

After the break, we get to some voice mails about how George Orwell's dystopian future may already be here. That means it may be a normal thing this time next year for Big Brother to know exactly what you purchased at Wal-Mart and that you spend way too much time at the bar down the street.

Bacon-flavored lip balm. Kiss me.

(Credit: J&D's)

Last story of the day is about bacon--oh, that delicious food of the gods! Jeff the Hypochondriac thinks bacon-flavored envelopes just might be enough to get him to lick his envelopes closed again. Meanwhile, an intrepid live listener of the show shows us some bacon-flavored chapstick along with some bacon-flavored...personal...lubricant. Yeah, the show ends on that note today.

Side note: We changed the way we're naming our shows in the blog. This is probably going to result in some confusion and backlash. It was done to please the Internet gods.