The court case between eBay and Craigslist is increasingly beginning to seem as if it was scripted by John Grisham. It's the little guy against the big machine.
Craigslist would like us to dedicate all our sympathy to its cause, as it describes its dealings with the big, bad wolf, aka eBay. Or, as Monday's court session heard, the big, bad she-wolf.
Jim Buckmaster, Craigslist's CEO, told the court that Garrett Price, an eBay executive, had written him an e-mail that waved a large rainbow-colored warning flag, according to a Reuters story.
"He said he needed to tell me there were two Meg Whitmans," Buckmaster told Craigslist's counsel in court, according to the report. "We had met and reached an agreement with Good Meg. There was another Meg, an Evil Meg. We would be best served to know that Meg could be a monster when she got angry and frustrated."
A monster? That nice lady who, in her run for governor, promises to make California solvent without resorting to punitive taxation or pumping iron? This is surely hard to believe.
The proceedings are being streamed live by the Courtroom View Network, and one wonders just what joy the network might bring Tuesday when eBay's no doubt friendly counsel attempts to hide his fangs from the Craigslist CEO, while simultaneously snipping at his vulnerable parts.
In case you had missed the cause of this kerfuffle, eBay is claiming that Craigslist illegally diluted its 28.4 percent shareholding by "self-dealing," underhand methods.
Craigslist is claiming that eBay made a promise not to start its own Craigslist-type site and then went right ahead and created Kijiji. It seems that such a promise did not appear in what some laypersons might describe as the written form, according to the Associated Press.
Buckmaster also declared that Whitman promised him that if any problems arose between the two companies--an e-mail was produced to the court on Monday in which an eBay executive described Craigslist people as being "definitely on another planet"--then eBay would sell its shares, according to Bloomberg.
"I believed that I could rely on her statements," Buckmaster told the court, Bloomberg said.
Just as Grisham protagonists seem slightly naive to the workings of the world, Buckmaster seems to want the court to believe that Craigslist were nice guys who couldn't imagine how beastly business people could be.
In many Grisham novels, the heroes flee to freedom in some lovely place, with enough money to enjoy the rest of their blissful lives.
Has that thought never crossed the minds of Buckmaster and founder Craig Newmark? Just wondering.
When rich people sue rich people, it often seems that the only possible winners can be rich people.
Which perhaps doesn't engage the emotions of spectators quite as much as, say, when rich people are caught with their plus fours around their ankles.
Still, the current lawsuit between eBay and Craigslist does offer a small window into our own daily lives. You know, the one through which we decide whether we believe what someone is telling us.
This legal spatula is being flipped in Delaware Chancery Court, its essence revolving around how much of Craigslist eBay really owns. Is it 28.4 percent, on which they initially agreed in 2004? Or is it the 24 percent that appears to have emerged after what eBay believes was a "self-dealing" and underhand scheme by Craigslist to dilute the value of its stock?
eBay's executives have already protested both their innocence and niceness. On Thursday and Friday, it was the turn of Craig Newmark and Jim Buckmaster of Craigslist. (Oh, if you're in need of human fascination, it continues Monday and is being streamed live by the Courtroom View Network.)
So here we are having to decide who is, well, the nicest person, the one who isn't telling the odd fib or two.
Perhaps the most moving remark of the first couple of days came from former eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who told the court that the moment she became concerned about the dealings between the two companies was when eBay founder Pierre Omidyar allegedly became frustrated with Craigslist.
"To be honest," she told the court, "I was starting to get concerned because really, nobody doesn't like Pierre."
And so we had eBay claiming the niceness higher ground. "We are sweet. We are lovely. We are kind to animals," seemed to be her refrain. The folks at Craigslist, though they might seem pleasantly libertarian at times, are not immune from a little folksiness of their own.
So when Newmark and Buckmaster took the stand, it was surely hard not to see them as the smaller, more idealistic Merry Men trying to avoid being slammed into the stocks by the big, bad Sheriff of Nottingham.
Newmark, he of the dour-colored suits and the slightly Elvis Costello-ish mien, sounded like Elvis at his lowest when he described how he felt betrayed by eBay.
He came to believe that his lady suitor's aim was not true. "eBay, specifically Meg Whitman, made commitments, and broke them," he told the court.
The Craigslist team, you see, became very concerned when eBay began to create its own classified site, with the slightly uncomfortable name Kijiji. Whitman, claimed Newmark, had promised exclusivity, but she was clearly playing around with Craig's confidential data and his feelings.
Buckmaster, Newmark's blessedly calm Friar Tuck, no doubt tugged at some heartstrings on Friday, when he described a correspondence between himself and Whitman.
On July 12, 2007, he allegedly wrote to the then-eBay CEO: "It is my sad duty to report that we are no longer comfortable having eBay as a shareholder." He went on to explain that Craigslist rather wanted to "explore options for our repurchase, or for otherwise finding a new home for these shares."
This all seemed like Whitman and her less than merry people were being dumped. Which is why you might be rendered somewhat insensate by her alleged reply: "We are so happy with our relationship with Craigslist that we could neither imagine doing anything to disturb our personal rapport with you or [Craigslist founder] Craig [Newmark], nor parting with our shareholding in Craigslist Inc. under any foreseeable circumstances."
She allegedly continued: "Quite to the contrary, we would welcome the opportunity to acquire the remainder of Craigslist Inc. we do not already own whenever you and Craig feel it would be appropriate."
Buckmaster told the court he found the cheery tone of this note to be "threatening."
So there you have it. Buckmaster continues with his possibly painful story on Monday. You, meanwhile, have all weekend to discern who might have slipped a little Rohypnol into their facts and who might be appealing to more fundamental human frailties.
You might also wonder what on earth these two sides were doing trying to have a relationship with each other. Somehow, it all seems a little like Angelina Jolie trying to get it on with Ross Perot.
In the place where they struck oil, they might, on hearing this news, be struck dumb.
You see, as I wandered through the pages of eBay in search of some fine and modern cooking utensils, I came across something that forced my digestive system to ask questions of my cerebellum.
(Credit:
eBay)
For there (here, indeed) was what seemed to be a brand new Xbox 360 for sale at the most reasonable sum of $1.1 million.
This, as your own cerebellum might be whispering to you, is no ordinary Xbox. For this pristine machine was signed by former governor of Alaska and current literary figure Sarah Palin.
The enervatingly enterprising vendor of this quite frankly priceless technological specimen is David Morrill (that's Morrill, not Imorrill) who claims he resides in Alberta, Canada.
He says he took a trip to Alaska and made sure it coincided with the then-governor's picnic on July 24.
He claims he pushed his way through the crowd to get within sniffing distance of the great Alaskan's hem, told her he had traveled three days just to see her, and asked her to sign his Xbox.
... Read moreThere's something that looks like a wedding ring. A wedding ring, I tell you.
I don't for a moment believe it belongs to Gov. Arnold Schwarzernegger's fair wife. However, it's the governor who is inviting you to "bring the family" and take items such as this ring off his hands. Because California needs to find cash wherever it can.
Please, go to Craigslist or eBay and take the ThinkPad ($200) and the the Dell laptop ($200). Or even these 10 office chairs ($5 each). The LG Flip Phone ($9) and the Blackberrys ($25) have already gone. But there's plenty more.
Who knows what role some of these delightful items played in California's history? Were they used to send furtive e-mails? Might some have been used for exciting late-night trysts?
Roll up, roll up, for this is no ordinary garage sale. This is the Great California Garage Sale.
If you don't trust buying anything on Craigslist or eBay, even if it purports to come from the governor's own bosom, you can go to Sacramento on Friday and Saturday and peruse available items to your pocket's content.
If any of you wondered just how bad California's situation is, please consider that the state is happy to accept "cash, cashier's check, Visa, MasterCard, AMEX or Discover."
Except, that is, for cars. In an interesting homage to car dealers everywhere, the state will not be accepting cash for vehicle purchases. However the state would like to reassure you that it will start the cars and prove they are in running condition.
In case any of you would like to augment your computer collection, may I tell you that the computers will not be sold with an operating system. No, not even Vista.
The governor has promised to autograph some of the items. Although I am not sure where he might autograph a BlackBerry.
However, this is all clearly being done with something of a sense of gallows humor. The Jimmy Kimmel take that I have embedded here is actually featured on the state's own Great Garage Sale site.
It's ugly. It's not proactive. It turns a deaf ear, a blind eye, and a snubby nose to investors. And it looks upon advertising as if it were as appropriate as an anchor tattoo on the Pope's forehead.
In sum, suggests Gary Wolf in the latest issue of Wired, Craigslist is a mess. A horrible mess. An embarrassing mess. A willful mess in which its principals rake in money while its principles seem to revolve around some weirdly benign view of human goodness.
Of course, you can see what he means.
We live in the forging, gorging West. We need things to be large and shiny. We need the surface of everything to be attractive, clean and bright, so that the mirage can somehow compensate for a reality that might not be quite so perfect.
At least, that's what so many of those who manage brands seem to believe.
And yet there's Google, whose sense of design might most politely be described as workmanlike. Although I have heard phrases such as "naive" or even "dull."
Somehow, Google has never really made too much of an effort to sex up the look of its search and it has done really quite well. Microsoft's Bing sees this as one of Google's potential weaknesses and has made at least some attempts to look just a little cooler than its monolithic competitor.
So Craigslist is surely not alone in cradling its utilitarianism, while steering clear of glamour. Wolf makes much of Craig Newmark and CEO Jim Buckmaster being slightly odd types who fancy themselves as libertarian, but rather wealthy, Robin Hoods.
However, shouldn't we really be thinking about ourselves as the odd types?
The fact that Craigslist gets more traffic than either eBay or Amazon suggests that the site's mess is one we humans not only recognize, but even appreciate.
Its utter lack of pretension, its acknowledgment of life as difficult, wayward, and, yes, messy, somehow serves to help people accept it as the place to go for real, everyday, sometimes very cumbersome needs.
Stripped of the glitter associated with conventional advertising and conventional business, Craigslist looks at you openly and benignly and says: "What annoying little burden can we take away for you, today?"
It's commercial psychotherapy of a very different sort than, say, Gucci.com.
The fact that the site and its way of doing business also happen to rhyme rather well with Newmark's and Buckmaster's view of the world might not be cause for criticism, but rather envy.
How many people are fortunate to live and work without having to compromise their principles, even their very personalities?
If Craigslist is such an embarrassing mess, why has no handsome eligible competitor come along and swiped it from the Web, like a nerdy, pimpled boy being removed from the pretty people's party?
Could it be that for all the ugliness, for all the bizarre bazaar-like quality of the site, people feel a certain recognition within its pages? Even a certain trust?
Yes, Craigslist is messy, annoying, contrarian, contradictory, arbitrary and just occasionally totally maddening. Somehow, people like that. Could it be because Craigslist is a little like us?
Humanity knows no depths.
On Monday, Craigslist and other sites were adorned with many of those lucky to have won tickets to Tuesday's Michael Jackson memorial service celebrating their good fortune--by trying to sell the free tickets.
On Craigslist's LA site the bereaved are brazenly asking buyers to take away the burden of their pain. One, for example, wanted $2,000 for two tickets. His posting, however, has been flagged for removal.
As, it appears, have most, if not all related postings on Craigslist and eBay.
Naturally, many of these posters knew this might happen, so, in a pre-emptive strike worthy of a paparazzo, they have put their phone numbers and e-mail addresses into the headlines so that the grieving and the gullible can contact them directly.
While some of those who were not lucky enough to score tickets are posting requests craving the indulgence of others, might one just wonder whether these are equally squalid scoundrels who, if someone took pity, would merely try to sell the tickets on?
Several Craigslist posters have, however, made reference to a Los Angeles Times blog post that suggests that even if people buy tickets, they won't be able to get in. This poster, for example, prints the blog post in its apparent entirety.
The post quotes Michael Roth, a spokesman for AEG, the company that was organizing Jackson's 50 London concerts and is organizing the service, as saying: "Several apparent ticket holders posted intentions to sell the tickets on eBay, but Roth warned that the security system in place will prevent anyone from doing so."
Roth makes very clear the layers of security that have been put in place: "In addition to the vouchers received via a special code, ticket holders will have to show a valid driver's license, and those whose IDs do not match the registration information will be eliminated as guests.
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But then there's the case of Rob O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan, from Houston, Texas, was featured on NBC's "Today Show" on Monday (video embedded here). He decided to enter the memorial service lottery as "a lark." He won.
However, he is unemployed and cannot afford to go to LA to pick up the tickets. So he put the tickets up for sale on eBay for $15,000. Then he says he dropped the price a little.
Interviewed by Meredith Viera, O'Sullivan explained that his daughter needs heart surgery and he therefore believes it reasonable to try to sell these tickets. He also said he would offer a money-back guarantee if, for some reason, the buyer could not pick up the tickets.
Is his case different? Perhaps you can decide.
In death, there is retail life.
Michael Jackson was an icon, so, somewhere along the way, there will be those who will want to capitalize on his passing.
Drifting through eBay's pages, one sees that many who seem to be bowing their heads in respect may actually be stooping to fairly venal lows.
Take the staggering swiftness of enterprising seller JanisK56, who put a lovely item of memorabilia up for sale Thursday, just before it was confirmed by TMZ that Jackson was no more.
This seller offered, as a one-day special, a 2003 People magazine cover featuring the singer.
(Credit:
CC Asim Bijarani)
Did the cover feature a triumphant world tour? Or perhaps a family reunion? Not quite. The headline is "Did he do it?" and it features an eight-page analysis of child molestation allegations.
"Will Others Come Forward?" asks the cover. Which is what I was wondering when considering who else would want to sell such mindlessly inappropriate memorabilia to people who might be fans. At the time of writing, the leading bid for this cover is $11.50. Which might strike some as $12 too much.
If that doesn't make you feel a touch queasy, several sellers are attempting to capitalize on pristine editions of yesterday's New York Times. Some, like AFlowerandagun, even add lines to remind you why you should spend cash to buy this paper.
"This is a historic day," declares AFlowerandagun's subhead. But is it really so historic and moving a day that you can't help but try to make $15.50 (the leading bid as I write) on a copy of a newspaper?
Then there's Erickdigger, a seller who is offering a "Michael Jackson life mask." Yes, not a death mask, a life mask.
The seller explains: "This started with an actual life cast mask of Michael Jackson. Then it has been sculpturaly (sic) enhanced by me Erick Erickson.The Hair, ears and eyebrows have been added to create a very lifelike display." And he concludes: "It's like having Jacko right there with you."
The price for Jacko's life mask is $44.99.
I fully understand that many people around the world are moved by Jackson's death. But to write a line like "It's like having Jacko there with you" seems tantalizingly insensitive.
Then again, how might fans feel about the "Michael Jackson Poseable Doll"? This seller, Deathcall47 (really) is offering a Jackson doll from the 1980s still in its box. Deathcall47 leaves a note, so that you can be clear what he is feeling.
"1984 MICHAEL JACKSON POSEABLE DOLL A MUST HAVE FOR ANY JACKSON FAN. SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT HIS DEATH. THIS IS A VERY HOT ITEM FOR ANY FAN," he begins. And he concludes with: "YOU WONT BE SORRY WHO KNOW'S (sic) WHAT THIS IS GOING TO BE WORTH."
The leading bid at the time of writing is $250. I wonder if it's a fan or a mere capitalist.
Jackson's death is extremely sad. But isn't there also something a little sad about people who hear about his death and think they can make a few random bucks from it, regardless of what it is they have to sell? All the sellers I have mentioned put the items up for sale either Thursday or Friday.
Of course, one shouldn't be surprised. But one can only hope that fans, in their grief, will distinguish between the valuable, the sincere, the opportunistic and the utterly callous.
It would be interesting to hear what fans might think of the eBay seller named cadzdaman.
He is offering the domain name MJ-IS-DEAD.com.
At least his message is very straightforward: "Domain name to inform those of Michael's tragic death, or can be resold for a profit."
Indeed. The leading bid as of Friday 12:52 p.m. PDT was $0.99.
He is selling $25 for 87 cents. He's sold Michael Jackson tickets for next to nothing. And now he's selling an iPhone 3G for $7.48.
Perhaps you might think Nicolas Dickreuter, the creator of PsychoAuction.com, is a few bills short of a fold himself. Some of his friends think so.
Dickreuter used to work for Lehman Brothers and now he doesn't. So he set up the site, a sort of eBay on ganja, on which auctions last only a few minutes and prices are absurdly low.
The old European HQ of Lehman Brothers. Perhaps PsychoAuction was born in a meeting room there.
(Credit: CC Jim Linwood/Flickr)"I appreciate that some of my friends are concerned, but I can assure them I have not lost the plot," Dickreuter told the Sun. "This is the next generation of online auction sites. Once it attracts more users, there will be more bidders--and more realistic prices."
Currently, you get three free bids, but then have to pay to bid more. However, the more people you bring to the site, the more free bids you earn.
In case you think this is all, as Ali G might put it, a little whack, please let me assure you that an iPhone has already sold on PsychoAuction for 28 British pennies. That is roughly 43 American cents.
I would be fascinated to hear from anyone who has bought something for an insane price at PsychoAuction. It really does sound like my kind of crazy, your kind of crazy, everyone's kind of crazy.
Oh, and just in case anyone was still wondering, that would include Lehman Brothers kind of crazy, right?
It seems that Bernie Madoff, the Fonzi of the Ponzi, had little use for technology for much of his life. He may not have even bothered making any online trades, for example.
However, he (or rather the trustees of whatever there is left of his swindling) has resorted to eBay to sell a couple of rather fine tickets to the New York Mets' opening day game.
These tickets--conveniently situated near the Mets dugout--are not the actual tickets that might have been graced with Madoff's behind. His trustees exchanged his chosen tickets for these in a deal with the Mets.
Still, celebrity is the world's most compelling narcotic, so you will not be surprised that bidding has been brisk. As of 10:20 a.m. PDT Saturday, the leading contender had offered $2,855. (The bidding started at a mere $525 and closes on Sunday morning.)
I believe these are members of the media, rather than bidders for Mets tickets, outside the Madoff abode.
(Credit: CC Red Carlisle/Flickr)I am amazed that the Upper East Side dwelling Madoff would have even considered stooping to watching the Mets play the cellar-dwelling San Diego Padres. However, who could doubt that seeing a game from Madoff's vantage point would be a deep and instructive experience?
If you don't happen to have $2,900 handy into order to enjoy a little of Madoff's booty, then please don't be too concerned.
That's because if you go to Madofftrustee.com, you will see that further tickets are being sold through StubHub. I cannot possibly comment as to why some tickets are worthy of eBay while others are forced to languish on Stubhub, but I can tell you that you can get tickets for next Sunday's game with the Brewers for a mere $450 each.
What fun it will be to see who will be be paying their finely earned dollars to commune with the spirit of the Madoffs.
Perhaps a hedge fund manager or two, no?
Curt Sleeper is a man ahead of the curve. The curve that begins the downward spiral.
Understanding that humanity is regressing to its cave-dweller roots, he and his wife Deborah bought their own cave in Festus, Mo., back when most people were tossing their home equity down a cavernous hole.
The Sleepers even sold their DVD collection to buy the 17,000 square foot cave. I don't even want to think what their heating bills must be. However, I know they are now experiencing a deep chill.
The cave cost $160,000, of which the Sleepers put down half. The other half they borrowed from the people who sold them the cave. (No, they were not called the Crusoes or the Robinsons from Switzerland.) It was a five-year loan with one so-called balloon payment at the end, which would be this May.
Sadly, with the banks in a self-induced coma of convenience, the Sleepers are unable to refinance. Mr. Sleeper, a computer consultant, told ABC News: "Right now, banks are not interested in anything odd." There is, indeed, nothing odd about taking taxpayers' money to cover for decisions made in large echoing heads.
So Mr. Sleeper has gone Web 2.0 to achieve his required zeros. He has requested bids on eBay.
He and his family have spent five years turning the cave, which was once an ice rink and also a concert venue (Yes, Bob Seger played there. Ted Nugent's hair performed there, too.), into something Ali Baba and his 40 thieves would have loved.
"The goal is not notoriety," he said. "The goal is either to finance or sell my house."
10,000 people have already shown some interest in cave-dwelling. 70 have declared their pre-registered interest in bidding.
The delight of it all is that the Sleepers actually found their cavernous dream on eBay too. So I am sure there must be someone who appreciates that cave-dwelling is the future. Just think of the number of hairy roommates you could fit into 17,000 square feet.
