Technically Incorrect

It was a wet morning just like any other wet morning in Kettering, Ohio. A woman driving in her Honda mini-van was doing what many other women might have been doing. Ferrying children. Oh, and chatting on her cell phone.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot. She was also breast-feeding.

Chris Cahill, 33, spotted her, called the police and then, as people sometimes do on a wet Kettering morning, decided to follow her. There is, naturally, no irony in the fact that, according to a recording of his call to the police, he continued talking on his cell phone while he … Read more

Everywhere one has turned this week, folks have wanted to talk prostitution. Craigslist is supposedly the nation's biggest bordello. And prostitution is stunningly rife in every leaf-filled American suburb.

In an attempt to get away from the more troubling side of existence, I ventured to the Los Angeles Times, knowing that the only obscene discussion I would find there would revolve around money and plastic surgery.

Choking on my allergies, I fell upon a very interesting article by David Lazarus, one of America's foremost writers on the subject of consumery-businessy stuff.

And there he was revealing that a … Read more

I cannot imagine what it's like to have an unusual name. Apparently, it does, on occasion, cause difficulties for people. Especially on Facebook.

Take Caitlin Shaw. She registered on the site using her new, married name. Then she wanted to add her maiden name. The Facebook machine reacted as if she'd belched in church.

You see, Caitlin's maiden name is Batman.

She appealed to the social networking site and was rejected. "The process took me three weeks," she told The Washington Post. She e-mailed. They e-mailed her back, requesting that she send several pictures to … Read more

Oh, what would Buffy say to this? They've finally dug up a vampire.

A skeleton of a woman with a substantial brick wedged between her jaws has been exhumed by Italian scientists.

Matteo Borrini of the University of Florence came across this sad and lonely woman when he was digging up plague victims on the island of Lazzaretto Nuovo in Venice. The woman probably died in the Middle Ages, a time when it was believed that "vampires" were an actual cause of the plague.

These so-called vampires did not sup on the blood of their fellow man … Read more

You either like the MGMT track "Kids" or you don't.

The question is: will you like The Mentalists' version, which is played not using instruments, but entirely on iPhones and iPod Touches.

The all-female band downloaded applications from the iPhone App Store and played as if they were deaf to tradition.

Among the downloads was the Ocarina app, which lets you mimic the sound of a flute. They also downloaded Retro Synth and miniSynth, which both help you believe you currently live with the Pet Shop Boys. The drums were performed courtesy of the DigiDrummer Lite app. … Read more

Some people who spend their nights staring up at the stars still have black bands around their telescopes.

This is to commemorate the heinous day in 2006 when the International Astronomical Union demoted Pluto to dwarf planet status.

Now, the bountifully deep and forward-thinking state of Illinois is showing its Illinoyance. It has decided that the IAU is comprised of downright plonkers and that Pluto will, on March 13, 2009, be reinstated as a full, mature rockstar planet.

In fact, March 13 will be Pluto Day in Illinois.

It appears that Clyde Tombaugh, the fine citizen who discovered Pluto, was … Read more

Please tell the truth. Once in a while, you really want to tell someone describing at a high lung level the date they had last night with a perverted zombie to just belt up. Or at least to make his or her cell phone call a little more intimate.

Well, a woman standing in line at a Brooklyn bodega found Berta Rakhmamimov's cell-phone conversation a little too piercing.

And she allegedly wound up attacked by Rakhmamimov's fists, coffee and, naturally, stiletto heels.

For those of you fond of a blow-by-blow account of fisticuffs, police said that Rahkmamimov first … Read more

Perhaps you, too, have friends who go nowhere without their hand sanitizer. Perhaps you, too, laugh at them beneath your clenched top lip.

However, researchers at Ondokiz Mayis University in Turkey are discovering that germs lurk everywhere. Especially in cell phones belonging to doctors and nurses, according to an Agence France Presse report. In fact, these phones may be a significant source of infections such as MRSA, which seems to have become an increasing danger in hospitals all over the world.

In researching the cell phones and dominant hands of 200 doctors and nurses, the researchers found that 95 percent … Read more

I am told by those who cycle, jog and rob banks that if you're wearing an iPod with earphones, it's quite hard to be aware of imminent dangers. Like buses and cars and policemen.

So some extremely ingenious Koreans have designed a vest-like contraption, called the Sound Walk, that allows you to enjoy speakers built into your shoulder pads.

It looks a little like a harness from a children's army brigade, but you simply slip your iPod, Zune or other player into a pocket at the front which is wired up to the speakers in your shoulder … Read more