The Macalope: An Apple blog

RETURN

The Macalope — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 07:50:00 PDT

Queue up your "all good things" clichés, dear readers, because the end of August brings an end to the Macalope's time at CNET. It's been a great run, if something of an odd relationship. She: long-time serious Internet news source. He: short-time mythical creature with a flair for the dramatic. Can they live in a small Manhattan apartment together?!

The answer appears to be "for a while". It's not so much that there isn't still love, it's just that we've grown apart. CNET has undergone some substantial changes since the Macalope's arrival, particularly having been acquired by CBS. The Macalope distinctly remembers saying to himself in the shower one morning "Is CBS one of the good giant media conglomerates or one of the bad ones? Does accepting money from a company whose logo looks like the Eye of Sauron present any ethical dilemmas? How many CSIs does the world need, anyway? Ooh, look, peppermint fur shampoo!"

To be perfectly clear, CNET is the one that's decided to move on with its life. But it's an amicable breakup (for the curious, the lack of posting recently was really due to a vacation, not a late-inning snub) and we even had a few laughs while we sipped wine and divided our CDs. "The Spin Doctors?! Ha-ha! What were we thinking?! I think this one's yours!"

Frankly, he of the antlers is surprised it didn't happen sooner. If you want to find him, he'll be back at his old digs for the time being, the place with the URL that's much easier to remember. He's also looking at "other opportunities". Don't worry about him. He always lands on his hooves.

A lot of people bemoaned the Macalope's first move here, but CNET always paid the bills and were very supportive of the horny one's somewhat unorthodox style.

So long, and thanks for all the checks.

RETURN.

Awwwwww, FREAK OUT!

The Macalope — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:57:00 PDT

As you may have heard, everyone's favorite little phone that can has kind of a big bug that kinda sorta makes it, oh, seem like you might be protected when, in fact, your "hysterical" buddies poked holes in your entire pack of prophylactics with pins and didn't tell you until after spring break.

So, yes, it's a bad bug and, yes, Apple needs to fix it post haste. Which, of course, is license for everyone to freak out.

InfoWorld's Peter Sayer sagely notes:

One way to avoid such unauthorized access to e-mail messages or Web favorites would be not to add e-mail addresses or URLs to favorite address book entries.

Right. Don't email your friends. Become a hermit. Put the phone in a mason jar and bury it under your front porch.

Or, if you're just lazy and don't like to get a little dirt under your fingernails, you could just change the setting for Home Button to, uh, Home. Which, if the Macalope's not mistaken, is the default setting. So, you may not even have to get up.

But Pete's idea is good, too. Living a life of solitude might be good for you. What with your sex addiction. Whatever.

Again, the Macalope's not arguing that this is a bug. It's clearly a bug. It's bad. It needs to be fixed.

The Apple Blog's Bob Rudis, meanwhile, just causes the hoofed one to scratch his furry head.

As Alex Hutton points out, you can mitigate the threat by disabling the "home button double-tap" feature of your device.

Well, no, you can't "disable" it, you can only select the behavior. And by changing the behavior you can "mitigate" the threat all the way down to a little number the horny one likes to call "zero".

For the umpteenth time, Apple has a real security problem and needs to better address the issue and this is just another thing that make the company look stupid. In and of itself, though, it may not be worth phoning home about.

Although, if you need to phone home, just hit Emergency Call and double tap the Home button and...

Nick! Heath! There's a fire in the barn!

The Macalope — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 07:21:00 PDT

Several people on the Twitter reported late last night that a fire hit Apple's Valley Green 6 building (Tom Krazit has more in it here). No one was hurt and the major concern is smoke damage. One humorous Twit even offered their tongue-in-cheek lament that it wasn't their building.

The horny one knows it was just a joke, but what with recent charges that Apple's a sweatshop for programmers...

Well, has anyone seen Milton?

This Christmas, your company's getting an iPhone in a box

The Macalope — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:33:00 PDT

George Ou (yes, that George Ou!) has an interesting preview of David Maynor's (yes, that David Maynor!) presentation tomorrow at DEFCON 16.

The horny one doesn't know if David's ingenious idea was inspired by the dick in a box, but to riff on a theme:

1) Get a box
2) Put a hacked iPhone attached to an external battery and running reconnaissance or penetration (ahem) tools in the box
3) Mail the box to ~~your girl~~ some company
4) Penetrate (the Macalope said "ahem" already!) said company

And that's how you do it!

While many companies have their shipping and receiving done at separate locations because of more traditional kaboom-related threats, this is still pretty Mission: Impossible.

The usual jokers will probably take this as another sign of why iPhones shouldn't be allowed in the enterprise.

Rob Enderle be a lady tonight

The Macalope — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:49:00 PDT

Last week we learned the answer to a question that has plagued mankind from time immemorial. "Who the heck pays Rob Enderle to do whatever the heck it is exactly he does?" Not too surprisingly, the answer was Dell, on their upcoming iPod killah! (Good luck with that by the way, boys!)

This week, Rob outdoes his already jacktastic standards by writing in glowing terms about a project he's being paid to consult on without, you know, revealing he's being paid to consult on it.

I'm not sure I'd bet against Michael Dell.

Well, sure, Rob. It's not polite to bet against the guy who brought you to the game.

A lady never leaves her escort
It isnt fair, it isnt nice
A lady doesnt wander all over the room
And blow on some other guys dice

Lets keep this party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby, I'm the guy that you came in with
Luck be a lady tonight

- Luck be a Lady Tonight, ~~Frank Sinatra~~ from "Guys and Dolls", music and lyrics by Frank Loesser (tip o' the antlers to Neil Bernstein via email)

Where have you gone, George Ou? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

The Macalope — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:48:06 PDT

File Vault flaw fling fizzles. Fruit-themed firm at fault.

If wishes were horses.

The Macalope — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:26:28 PDT

It's shoot for the moon daze, people! Following up on Al Gore's challenge to convert all electricity production to wind, solar and recumbent bike power in the next 10 years, two other probably even less likely to be accomplished challenges were raised.

First, TechCrunch wants users to build them a dead-simple web tablet for $200. There's that can-get-other-people-to-do-it spirit that made this country great! Make sure you get a tetanus shot before taking those test models for a spin! Some of those edges might be sharp.

Now one of the founders of Ubuntu maker Canonical, Mark Shuttleworth, says he wants the operating system that's fun to say to "blow right past Apple" in terms of an artful desktop experience. Right. Look, the Macalope has some really nice things to say about Linux and Tux himself, who he frequently plays against in the Mythical Creatures Intramural Softball League. But artful experiences are rarely, if ever, created by committee. Also, it's not just the presentation layer that separates Ubuntu from OS X. It's also this. It's not enough to look good, it has to just work, too.

Well, you know, MobileMe notwithstanding.

Cough.

Ditto

The Macalope — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:27:11 PDT

The Macalope has assiduously avoided the "issue" of Steve Jobs' health to date simply because he finds the armchair diagnoses of people who aren't doctors but play them on the Internet to be repugnant. Today, Michael Gartenberg sums up his feelings perfectly:

Steve Jobs health is no one's business except his. That's my last word on this topic.

The dark secret behind iPhone battery life

The Macalope — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 20:36:00 PDT

Rands on the Twitter:

PEOPLE the battery life appears less because YOU CAN'T PUT THE DAMNED THING DOWN.

That would pretty much explain it.

Remote controller? You're soaking in it!

The Macalope — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:02:15 PDT

In a review of Apple's quarterly post-conference call beating on the market (yawn, SEEN IT), ZDNet's Adrian Kingsley-Hughes hits upon a gem of an idea while musing on the much-discussed upcoming "product transition".

Revamped AppleTV that's App Store compatible - Give the AppleTV a Wii Remote-like controller and it's ready to bring Super MonkeyBall to the world.

Let's ignore the fact that Apple's sold more iPhones and iPods touch ("iPod touches" just sounds wrong) than Apple TVs so Super Monkey Ball already reaches a wider audience. And let's also ignore the fact that this doesn't completely describe a transition to a lower-margin product. Instead, let's run with the remote controller idea. Because the remote controller is already in your hand.

It's the iPhone and the iPod touch. Both have the accelerometer and already act as a menu remote with Apple's Remote app. Rolling out the App Store to the Apple TV is a fabulous idea that could really add legs to an otherwise average device. Upscale the graphics and you're good to go. Game makers can create their own remote applications, allowing them to configure the buttons any way they like. Sure, there are some problems with that. Games may be a very good example of an instance where a physical button can be the difference between virtual life or death ("I thought I was pressing 'fire' and instead I was pressing 'night vision goggles'."), but the screen real estate on the iPhone and iPod touch is expansive enough that large virtual buttons could make up for this.

This is all pie-in-the-sky at this point. Maybe the product transition is an Apple TV/iPod touch bundle. Maybe it's lowering the cost of the iPod touch to where it's viably priced as a remote control.

More likely it's none of these things, but if Apple isn't going in this direction, maybe it should be.