Elton John's 'Starburst' iPod nano

Only one thing looks worse than Winnie the Pooh having his face sandpapered off, and that's any gadget covered in Swarovski crystals. Here's a look at the five crystal-clad abominations that have stood out most over the last few years. There are so many others, of course.

Admirably, Elton John's latest release--Swarovski crystal-encrusted iPod nanos--aims to benefit victims of HIV and AIDS. Unfortunately, there has been a distinct oversight--the rest of us poor souls have to look at the obnoxious devices.

For just $590, you can take home one of nine differently colored 8GB iPod nanos, each of which is just a normal $162 iPod nano peppered with chunks of crystalline vomit.

Oh, yes, delightful reader, part of your money would go to the Elton John AIDS Foundation, and that's a tremendous cause. But far better would be to buy a standard iPod nano, and give £300 in cash to the charity.

Even wealthier? The 16GB model costs about $663.