Mark Foley, former Republican congressman

When the history of embarrassing instant-message conversations is finally written, former Rep. Mark Foley deserves his own chapter.

The Republican politician from Florida spent a good portion of his career selling himself as a leading defender of children on the Internet. In reality, if IM transcripts posted by ABC News are accurate, Foley's favorite use of the Internet was to engage in lurid conversations about masturbation. Here's an excerpt that's almost safe for a family publication:

Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:04 PM): normal clothes
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:09 PM): tshirt and shorts
Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya
Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you

No one on Capitol Hill--except the participants, of course--had obtained copies of the racy IM exchange before the ABC report, a congressional investigative panel concluded in its Dec. 8 report (click for PDF) on the matter.

The committee also determined that no current House members or employees had broken any rules, per se, by not pursuing reports of scandalous behavior more diligently. But it issued a warning for the future: Anyone aware of "specific and nonspecific allegations of improper interaction" between politicos and pages must report it post-haste.