Perspective: How not to name your company

This week I'm at the ThinkEquity Partners Growth Conference in San Francisco with a number of start-ups and established giants that are touting their companies.

What's truly remarkable is the collection of god-awful names on display. That's one craze the Internet era could not kill. A bad name just puts the wrong foot forward. Conversely, a good name can help launch a company. Gary Culliss, former CEO of DirectHit, a former growing search company, almost fell off his chair when he first heard about Google. And YouTube certainly benefited from a catchy name.

In any event, for you start-up execs, here's a handy guideline for how not to name your company:

1. Avoid redundancies. This was a lesson lost on Internet Gold-Golden Lines of Petach Tiva, Israel. And did we mention gold? I was actually looking forward to this presentation. I figured the CEO might dress up like Festus from the old "Gunsmoke" show and start shouting about claim jumping. But it is an Internet access provider.

Don't sound like you may have a criminal or shady past. This one's for you, DepoMed.

2. Don't sound like you may have a criminal or shady past. This one's for you, DepoMed. It sounds like you're going to sell vitamins out of the trunk of your car, not like you're a developer of advanced medical technology for gastric conditions. Similarly, Repros Pharmaceutical is only a few letters away from Repo Pharmaceuticals.

On a similar note, a very dry name can take on a slightly shady twinge--like you're hiding something. Take Central European Media Enterprises, for instance. It operates TV stations in the Ukraine, but it sounds like an import-export company. Then there is Portfolio Recovery Assets. It buys bad credit-card debt and chases down the debtors; in a sense, the name is trying to gloss over some ugly realities.

"One-third of our cash collection comes through the legal channel, but we prefer not to sue," Portfolio CEO Steven Fredericson calmly intoned. "We literally try to talk the money out of our customers."

3. Don't be lurid. Hello, XenoPort, NuVasive, and WiderThan. If you can spare the money, hire a focus group of 13-year-old boys to give you their reactions to all name suggestions. I also liked Pentaho Networks, which is what the dishwashers from El Salvador used to call me during my high school job.

4. Triple words are out. Yes, that's you, VendareNetblue. It didn't help PriceWaterhouseCooper. Even the Germans try to limit the combining of words to two.

5. Don't sound desperate or obvious. Good Technology. KnowFat. Though, sometimes it works. Hurray Holding: Enthusiasm makes up for a lot.

So what's good?

1. When in doubt, go medieval. If you can fit your company name into this sentence: "What (your name here) is but a boy. I will smote him in one blow," then you have chosen well. Ceragon Networks is a great example.

Weapons also work. Crossbow Technologies. This technique was successful for my old college roommate. He had a company named LightHammer. He picked the name because it both evoked "The Lord of the Rings" and "Hammer of the Gods" (the Led Zeppelin biography). He sold it to SAP.

2. Things that sound like a Spanish restaurant. Spansion. Taleo. Digitas.

3. If it sounds like someone that William Shatner would wrestle, you're all set. Santarus. Sirtris. DayStar. Questcor Pharmaceuticals.

Besides, that will make selecting a celebrity for trade show appearances easier.

Biography
Michael Kanellos is editor at large at CNET News.com, where he covers hardware, research and development, start-ups and the tech industry overseas. He has worked as an attorney, travel writer and sidewalk hawker for a time share resort, among other occupations.

More Perspectives

[maiyali]

you mean Pendejo?

but yes, Panteho does sound remarkably like the spanish word for
- well you know!

[talus7]

funny stuff

I am from El Salvador and fell off my chair when I read his comment. LOL! Good stuff!

[marycnet5]

ha ha this tickled me pink

ha hah...

I write for "That Damn PC" at
<a class="jive-link-external" href="http://thatdamnpc.com" target="_newWindow">http://thatdamnpc.com</a>

and I didn't choose the name, but I like it.
That said, I also use it in my sig line
(as requested by my company, b5media)
and ummm.... gosh, some people are so offended, well, I'm sorry.
b5media wants me to use it in my sig ... so what can I do? except laugh.

and I hope google or some other site doesn't

and my other sig? it's got three words in it
<a class="jive-link-external" href="http://ChowRescueDogs.org" target="_newWindow">http://ChowRescueDogs.org</a>

I'm clippin' this article
A friend of mine is trying to choose the perfect
name for her company. Wouldn't you know it: her current company name (withheld) has three words in it too, for both domain and letterhead...

Thanks for the great insight!

Mary

[knowledgeSeeker]

Load of crap!!

This article makes no real sense. Choose whatever name you like. Just make sure that you deliver what you say and your company will profit and who knows, even become famous.
Check these silly names:
Google, IBM (International Business Machines), Apple, Dell. They all have terrible names but we love them.

[Roseythepug]

Actually, I think Apple is good name.

[ThorOfAsgard]

I agree, nobody will care about the name of your company as long as you produce a product that 10 million people want. I think Wal-Mart is just as silly a name as Gas-Mart, but Wal-Mart is the 3rd richest company in the world

[Gomphos]

More questionable names...

Yes, all real. List gathered while I was in college (pre-internet).

- Dress Barn
- Chandelier Shack
- Nail Cove
- Envelope Mart
- Security Hut

[alteal]

Not dot com

OhNoNot.com

[dmm]

How about?

Ineed$BIGTIMEorITSbellyup4me.com

[zarph2]

you mean like news.com.com ?

hmmm.

[katamari]

Exactly :D

Had me laughing. I still want CNet to fire whoever came up with that.

[thedreaming]

actual domain names

like-duhh.net
idiot.com
hell.com
heaven.com
presidentmoron.com (believe it or not)
googleityoumoron.com (yes, it's real)
redneckworld.com

Scary!

[crutchfieldtravel]

How about this?

howifiredmyboss.com

[michael kanellos]

Dress Barn!

I love that one. There's no way it can sound upscale.

PS, I found a new one today:

Wretch.

It's a taiwanese online gaming site.

[crutchfieldtravel]

What do you recommend?

How about www.howifiredmyboss.com?

[shawnlin]

Wretch

Actually, Wretch (<a class="jive-link-external" href="http://www.wretch.cc/" target="_newWindow">http://www.wretch.cc/</a>) is a Taiwanese online social site. Featuring services such as Photo Albums, Blogs, Message Boards, ... etc, with 5GB of storage for each user that sign up.

There is actually an English interface for this website if you select "English" on the "Select Language" pulldown menu bar.

[Sirspa]

Its tough.

It seems like all the good names are taken, for someone starting out a new business, its difficult to find a domain that relates something to the business and means something to your customers. Hopefully I chose the right name for mine, but I am sure you guys would let me know if I didnt.
Sirspa,
<a class="jive-link-external" href="http://www.free4youhosting.com" target="_newWindow">http://www.free4youhosting.com</a>

[wiley14]

The Best: WackenHut

At work, the security is outsourced to WackenHut Security. 'Nuff said!

[lonny paul]

Have you lost it?

First of all, "Central European Media Enterprises" sounds like a group of either ad networks or television stations - and import / export company?

Also, your racial references regarding spanish restaurants and what the El Salvadorians called your during highschool, was probably short of appropriate.

CNET is well known as a respected journal with reliable, fair and non-racial profiling journalists.

At large?

Hope you still got a gig.

Lonny Paul
<a class="jive-link-external" href="http://www.oy9.net" target="_newWindow">http://www.oy9.net</a>

[Hulser]

Giving political correctness a bad name

First off, "El Salvadorian" is not a race. So I'm not really sure what you think are "racial references". Secondly, I find it quite disturbing that anyone would consider simple reference to race (your "racial references") inappropriate. Would you have us expunge all references to race from all news publications?
And even if you did mean "racist" when you wrote "racial", the author didn't make a racist comment. He didn't state or even imply that his co-workers were inferior because of their race. He simply made a joke based on similarity of a (made up) word in one language to a word in another language.

[shawnlin]

Central European Media Enterprises

"Central European Media Enterprises" sounds ok to me. The only reason that some people may think it that sounds like an import/export company is becuase of the word "Enterprise".

But the word "Enterprise" just be corresponding to a word used in a non-English language to indicate the "type" of incorporation.

Since most names of non-US or Western European companies that Americans see or hear of are mainly import/export companies, thus the association I suppose.

THIS is the best URL EVER

I laughed my ass off when I read it. It's
"PENISland.net."












<a class="jive-link-external" href="http://www.teckmagazine.com/content/view/631/43/" target="_newWindow">http://www.teckmagazine.com/content/view/631/43/</a>

[Roseythepug]

This article is very opiniated.

[jojopwnsu]

It's actually pendejo....

[cyndiguai]

It really to work our a good company, our company plan to built up a new one in shanghai, its difficult to find a enterprise name that relates something to the business and means sth to our product, we are mainly manufacturing: jaw crusher, impact crusher, cone crusher, vertical impact crusher, hammer crusher, VSI crusher, vertical combination crusher, ball mill, crusher, grinder, sand washer, sand making machine, belt conveyor, vibrating screen,vibrating feeder,screw feeder, bucket elevaor and block making machine, etc
about the description about these product, can take a reference in this website
http://www.salecrusher.com/index.html, welcome to advices, if you have some good company names.

[nameos]

great article!
it's all in the name.

I've got some great company names for you, and with a domain.COM attached.

email me at: yeutzz@ gmail dot com

[saramartin]

Seeing so many good reviews of your blog, I thought I would also join in and let you know that I really enjoy reading this blog. There are some weird comments, but for the most part I agree with what the other posters are saying.
http://www.bayut.com

[brand-name]

Good tips, I found the "how not to name your company" part most useful! My advise is to use tools like www.globalnaming.com to support your naming process and get lots of help on the way.

[ole-king-coale]

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned this one yet... Rent-A-Wreck (Be careful with tongue-in-cheek humor...you might bite off your tongue!)

And my personal favorite: Adult Toy Storage (it's actually for storing motorcycles, jet skis, boats, etc)

[SHenryBrown]

Name my Company:


I am planning to start a software development company. I like to see how may catchy names can be available for my company. I keep some restrictions, like name should not be lengthy. Must not be more than 3 words. 2 words better. Catchy. Should feel good when I call it by their first leters. Come up with as many catchy names as you can. Help me out to name my company. I will mention your details in my company details once I set iy up. Have fun.

[Deborah Wagner]

Great article! The breakdown often occurs when companies try to name themselves. Sometimes they are so entrenched in the company, product and offering, they cannot look at naming from a different view. Plus there is so much ego involved! Storyhat http://www.storyhat.com is a great resource for effective, storytelling names.

[NameGuru]

Another great CNET article -- I really like tip number 5 don't sound desperate. I've been around a long time and have not thought about that. Good advice. I found a cool <a href="http://www.brandings.com">company naming</a> evaluation tool that can help in assessing the quality of name choices
<a href="http://www.brandings.com/article_a_great_name.php">free evaluation worksheet</a>. Check it out.

[sadgrove]

I came across similar advice here: http://iptio.com/company-names-how-not-to-do-it/, which suggests names to avoid.

[brand-name]

I use this <a href="http://www.globalnaming.com">naming tool</a> which gives name examples, verifies name in all languages, looks up domains etc. Really good actually...